DebFromLodi

I hope you are doing ok. It does take time and never goes away. Just don't expect miracles in "getting over it." It does not happen, just gets easier as time goes on.

Of course it was your mom who came to you in your dream. You are so very lucky to have had a dream like that. I cannot dream about my mom and i need to see her and talk to her so badly. Thank God for the dream.

i so understand what you are feeling. my mom died feb 2, 2008 and, believe me, it does not get easier. my prayers are with you during this tough time.

I will pray for you to get through this.

The hard thing for me is that when we had to put my mom in the "home", my brother decided to sell the house. She was alive and we had no reason to think she would not be around for a long, long time to come. My sister and I went to the house and went through EVERYTHING. Every drawer, ever cupboard and seperated things for a garage sale. We kept things we wanted, there was not alot though. Anyway, had I known she would die within the year, i certainly would have kept more things. More dishes to remind me of her, more pots and pans that I remember her using. Sheets, things that would now remind me of her. I just wish I could have gone through everything AFTER she died. And there is no one to blame, thank God. My mom was no longer able to walk or care for herself and it was silly for my brother to keep the house, especially with the market falling. So he sold it. I keep thinking i am doing so well, then something like this comes into my mind. She has been gone for over a year and I miss her more than anything in this world.

My prayers are with you. I lost my mom in Feb 08. I lost my dad in 1979. Having a very hard time with my mom's passing. I miss her so very, very much. If I just had another day with her. I will pray for you to get through this, keep coming back here. It helps and everyone cares.

Kath...how true! That is exactly the way I feel and can't get passed it.

I don't think it is strange that you feel you have no home to go to, even though that house was never your home. Remember that home is where the heart is.

My mom and dad lived in a house owned by my Uncle. When he died, he left the house to my brother. When my mom had to go to the "home", my brother put the house up for sale. God, I wish now I could walk the floors and remember when life was better. Anyway, here is a poem I wrote one day after visiting the empty house: This house is empty, cold and bare Once filled with voices everywhere. Remembering my mom and dad Memories both good and bad. A decorated Christmas tree In the living room for all to see. The family dinners we used to share With sounds of laughter everywhere. But now the silence fills this room It echoes like a lonely tomb. The kitchen where my mom would cook So empty I can hardly look. I close the door and walk away And yet, my heart begs me to stay. I’ll cherish every memory Until, one day, my mom..I’ll see. I can never go home anymore. Thank God for all of you.

Today is 13 months after losing my mom. It gets easier as time goes on. Or perhaps I have just started to accept the fact that i will never see her again, never hear her sweet voice, never kiss her again. I miss her terribly. At night when i go to bed, I relive those last moments. I can't get the picture out of my head. But day to day living is getting better, even though the void is never filled. Go easy on yourself.

Wow, this is really bringing it back. The nurses said she could possibly last through the night. If so, I would NOT have left her side. All of us were beside her as she took her last breath. I said to her: Mom, you were with each one of us kids when we took our first breaths and we were with you when you took your last. Thank God for that.

I don't know how to go on without my mom, I miss her so.

Reading what you wrote when you explained your last hours with your mom brought back my memories of my last 5 hrs with her. She was in a rest home, laying there unresponsive. I did not know if she could hear me but I spoke to her. I let her know it was ok when she was ready to go, and she did. After she died, I kissed her lips, something I never knew I could do before. But I did, at least a dozen times during the days before her funeral. Temmie...I feel your pain and your loss. Thanks for sharing.

Well, it was nice. The four of us kids (and spouses) took flowers and talked. Then at exactly 11:34 we all closed our eyes and talked to her, told her we loved her and missed her. I think I am really going through a bad depression over all of this. All I want to do is sleep and I need to get out and get a job. I don't know what to do. I just want to sleep I miss her so much.

Thank you guys so very, very much

Thank you leeann

I just can't believe a year has passed without my mom. A year since my brother called to say "mom took a turn for the worse". We all rushed to her side and had 5 hrs with her, she was non responsive. Quietly breathing with an oxygen mask to make her breathing easier. Then watching turn her head up, not gasping for air, though I believe she was. The nurse said 3 or 4 more breaths and she would be gone, and she was. God I miss her. We are all meeting at the cemetery at 11:34 today. Please say prayers for us. This is the hardest thing we have ever, ever had to go through....losing our mom and our best friend. She was 91 years old.

I often wonder if my mom's spirit went into her cat. So I hold the cat alot and talk to her as if she were my mom. After all, my mom would be with me if she could so why not come back in the cat that she loved so much? The only living thing I have left of her since she died. Love that cat of your dad's, hold him/her alot. you never know !!

Feb 2 will be a year since my mom passed. I can't believe time has passed by so quickly. It doesn't seem right or fair that life goes on without her. I am not thinking of ending my life, don't get me wrong, it just seems that because she was my life for 56 years and now she is gone. My life goes on and so does everyone else's. Just doesn't seem right somehow. She died at 11"34 a.m. so we are all meeting at the cemetery about 11 to bring her flowers so that we can be with her at the time of her passing. We were all with her when she left us on that rainy day and want to be with her on the exact anniversary. I love her so much and miss her more and more with each passing day. My prayers to all of us.

Maybe he was having a conversation with God when he said "I want to sit in front." Maybe it was his place in Heaven he was talking about.

This song comes to mind, i truly love it: I'll Be There - Escape Club Over mountains, over trees Over oceans, over seas Across the deserts I'll be there In a whisper on the wind On the smile of a new friend Just think of me And I'll be there CHORUS: Don't be afraid, oh my love I'll be watching you from above And I'd give all the world tonight to be with you 'Cause I'm on your side, and I still care I may have died, but I've gone nowhere Just think of me, and I'll be there

I do understand how you feel. After my mom had knee surgery, she went to a rehab and they just let her lay in bed all day. Had her drugged. They brought her food in and left it, they never fed her. They picked it up half an hr later, uneated. They never gave her water. They called us to stay with her all night becuase she would try to get out of bed and they did not have time to watch her. We finally realized, after she lost forty lbs that they were not feeding her and she was dehydrated. The four of us kids split up our times so we could be with her for meals and feed her and give her plenty of water. Then we split up four hrs each to sleep with her all night. It was terrible. Then when she finally had to go to a convalescent hospital, still drugged to the max, the hospital lost her teeth. They never replaced them. They made a dental appt for her and i went with her, but she never did get the teeth since it had to be approved first. Looking back there was so much i should have done. I did nothing because i was afraid they would mistreat her and i couldn't stand that thought. I can't believe on Feb 2 it will be a year since we lost her. Time has gone by so quickly and yet it seems like only yesterday we sat at her bed as she left us. I am really having a hard time with this. I pray for us all.

You have to realize that it is never going to be the same again. I keep praying for a sign from my mom, but never get one. We just have to go on from here and learn to accept the fact that they are gone. Nothing we can do will change that. Just thank God for the memories you carry and pray that someday we will see them again, not in this lifetime, but in the next. Feb. 2 will be a year since she left me. I never realized before how quickly time passes, a whole year! Praying for all who visit this site is the best we can do. I am praying for you.

And it is my first Christmas without my mom. I feel all of our pains. We need to believe that they are with us no matter what. We can't see them but they are here. I wish each of us a sign from them as our Christmas gift. That is my prayer. Merry Christmas everyone.

The first time my mom had a complete knee replacement everything went well and easy. 2 weeks of PT and back home she went, better than ever. This time the doctors all approved her other knee to be done, she went to rehab, where they kept her drugged constantly. Then they kicked her out saying she was rehabilitated enough to leave. My brother took her to his house to do the walking thing that they never completed at the hospital. We finally had to put her into a convalescent hospital, where they too kept her drugged all the time. She never was able to get up and walk. The first surgery and PT went so well, how were we to know that this one would kill her? And it did kill her. I think since she was not able to move around, the fluids surrounded her heart and killed her. Her body just shut down. But there was no real reason to believe the second surgery would not have turned out like the first. Had any of us known, we would have stopped her from having it and I would have reported that rehab hospital for not doing their job. My point is, we cannot predict the future and cannot continue to punish ourselves for things we have no control over. It was just my mom's time to go and nothing I could have done would have prevented it. Yes, I should have gone to see her and stayed hours longer than I did, but I can't change that now. I can continue to punish myself as long as I want, but there comes a time in life when you can't take the self punishment. That is where I am now, I am trying hard to remember the good things and the way she loved me so perfectly. You will get there, Em...I promise. Just going to take alot of time. Please be kind to yourself.