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My 7yrs golden boy


SteD

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hi everyone. my golden boy Dexter was a 7year old dog, full of life and love and suddenly became ill with cronic kidney failure. and colitis.  i miss him so much its been 2 months and i cant stop thinking about him. he was my best friend and companion. i was in a bad place when i decided to get him as a pup and from the first moment we bonded it was truey special. i know everyone says that about their pets but he just made such an inpact to my life and now his gone i just feel completely lost, no anchor with out purpose. i keep busy and managed to function but i just feel empty without him. the time goes by and it seems to hurt more somedays. im trying to not think about him all the time and look at other things but the pain comes back and it floors me. i felt like i let him down intially as he was so fit and suddenly ill, my neighbours have been harrassing me and i felt sure they done something but that was just awful so i called the vet who as put my mind at rest. i still struggle to think how well he was one day and then so poorly. 

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Sorry for your loss. Unfortunately illness can come suddenly. Even if it doesn't there is no real way to prepare yourself for losing someone so close to you. I can definitely relate to the emotions you are going through. I lost my cat Mango almost 2 months ago as well and still miss him every day. He was truly special to me and we had a bond I'm not sure I'll ever have with another pet. The last couple of weeks most days are pretty good, although yesterday I'm not quite sure why but I started thinking about him a lot and got pretty upset.  I still have my cat Marble who is 12 and have Leon a kitten I adopted not too long ago, but nothing will ever replace Mango. That said it is nice to have them here to keep my mind off things.

I don't think there is a timeframe for how long it takes to heal, but I do hope it gets a little better for you each day.

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Thank you for reply.  I’m sorry to hear about Mango.  I also have another dog Jensen who has been great he misses Dex too and has been there.  I think it’s now my housemate seems to not want to talk about him anymore and ready to move on I feel like I’m dwelling for my own sake and that make me feel bad.  Dex was so happy so would want me to get on with things I don’t know whether having picture of him as screen saver on my phone are a good thing Or looking at pictures but I don’t want to forget him it feels to soon. I just miss him he followed me everywhere.  

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15 hours ago, SteD said:

i just feel empty without him

I do understand, it's how I felt losing my Arlie, it's been 14 months and he will always be my sweet beautiful soulmate in a dog.  My son brought me a puppy a few months later, he doesn't replace Arlie, no one will ever do that, I will miss and love him the rest of my life.  Kodie has created his own spot in my heart and I can't live without him now, is he my soulmate?  No, but he is a very sweet puppy.  I have love for both of them but in different ways, as I think most here can understand, Arlie was truly perfect for me.

Arlie is my wallpaper on my PC too.  Don't worry, you will never forget Dex.  I'd give anything to have my Arlie back and wish his brother could have known him, he'd have loved him, he was goofy and fun loving and always happy, my sweet boy.

I am just so sorry for your loss.  I hope this video brings you some comfort.  My Arlie had lifelong Colitis, I cooked for him, he couldn't tolerate antibiotics, I had him on supplements too but it was cancer that got him.  :(

 

 

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8 hours ago, SteD said:

 I don’t know whether having picture of him as screen saver on my phone are a good thing Or looking at pictures but I don’t want to forget him it feels to soon. I just miss him he followed me everywhere.  

I got a framed picture of Mango a couple of weeks ago which I put in my bedroom and I actually put him as a screensaver on my phone yesterday. I don't think there is anything wrong with that.

I was actually thinking back at the people and animals I've lost in the past and realized how many of them I don't think of them very often and don't have pictures displayed. Made me feel a little guilty. Of course not to say I forgot about them or didn't love them or wasn't very upset when I lost them either. But every so often we lose someone who we are so connected to it's like a piece of you was torn out with it. That's the way I feel with Mango. As time goes on hopefully looking at pictures brings back only good memories and not the bad.

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SteD we all do say that about our pets. And we are all correct! They do mean that much to each of us. I'm sorry you don't have a support system in your housemate. But you do here and can come any time to post or talk or read others stories. Reading others stories helps me a lot. And sometimes I find it cathartic to look at pictures of my dog Sonny and to write about him and just cry. I think it helps me process. It also helps me think of the good times so that I don't dwell as much on his last days or the last few months. We all process differently, progress differently and move forward at our own pace. You'll never forget Dex.  Just like I'll never forget Sonny. It feels impossible right now to try and live without them, I know. I feel like I'm riding an emotional wave, fine one second, and then not the next. It's ok to be sad, take the time you need to grieve and mourn.

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17 hours ago, GMS said:

But every so often we lose someone who we are so connected to it's like a piece of you was torn out with it.

Yes, more like half of me is ripped out!  I felt this with my grandoggy, Skye too, but much harder hit with Arlie than anyone, he was my true soulmate, perfect dog...he was golden also, SteD.

I don't feel guilty for having him on my wallpaper, I think that's natural.

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It’s 3 months today.  Can’t believe It’s been 3mths. I watched some videos of him and had a good cry, I wish I had taken more.  I guess I feel cheated that he was only 7yrs I should of had longer with him he deserved more more treats.  I always dreaded him getting old and dying and it just feels like my worst nightmare has happened so soon.  His gone already. Now I would give anything to see him get old and cuddle up with him.  

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I know, I am so sorry.  :(

 

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We all have to hope for that!  I HAVE to be with my Arlie again!

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  • 2 months later...
On 10/24/2020 at 2:51 AM, SteD said:

It’s 3 months today.  Can’t believe It’s been 3mths. I watched some videos of him and had a good cry, I wish I had taken more.  I guess I feel cheated that he was only 7yrs I should of had longer with him he deserved more more treats.  I always dreaded him getting old and dying and it just feels like my worst nightmare has happened so soon.  His gone already. Now I would give anything to see him get old and cuddle up with him.  

Hi SteD, I'm so sorry for your loss, hope you are coping when you read this. Everything you said is how I exactly feel right now. You got the right word-- I also felt cheated, my 7yo german shepherd passed so suddenly and unexpectedly on 12/28. I did not imagine that she would be gone to soon, she's her usual happy self that morning and then suddenly collapsed. I cannot understand how she's perfectly fine one moment and gone just like that. Sending hugs to you. 

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9 hours ago, Agemgem said:

I cannot understand how she's perfectly fine one moment and gone just like that.

It's hard to wrap our heads around, let alone try to assimilate this into our lives.  :(

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