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First, welcome to the place none of us ever wanted to be.  But grateful it does to connect with others that understand everything we feel.  I don’t know how long ago you lost your partner, but I do know that anxiety is way up there for reactions.  I would inform my doctor as you might benefit from something to help when they happen.  I have them all the time.  It’s been over 7 years.  Each of our paths are unique to us and our broken connection.  But everyone here can help you along yours.  I hope you share ore about yourself.

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With mine, I've had GAD all my life but grief/stress sent it through the roof!  It took me 3 1/2 years after George died before I got help and then I did my own research and printed it out for the doctor, he was sarcastic about it but prescribed it (Buspirone/Buspar), I didn't want an SSRI or something addictive that would leave me robotic.  I will be on this the rest of my life.  I tried natural stuff, prayer/meditation, it wasn't enough.  If it doesn't go away, or feels unmanageable I would definitely bring it up to your doctor.

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MichelleS

I don’t know your specific situation so it’s hard to respond. Speaking from my situation, I experienced anxiety which was very new to me. I think it was just fear of what my future would be like. Also, my doctor thought going back to work would be a good thing, boy was he wrong. My anxiety went out of control due to undue stress from work. It only subsided when my doctor put me on medical leave.

It would be wise to assess your life stress beyond your grief (which I’m so terribly sorry you have to go through) and, it’s always wise to consult your doctor about any changes regarding your health, especially during times of grief, as self care is so important ❤️

 

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You're not alone Michelle. I've always been the anxious type, worrying about everything, expecting the worst to happen and so on. Now, after losing my soulmate, I can't explain to you how my anxiety is literally 'bursting at the seams"! I haven't talked to my doctor or seen a  counselor, simply because it's still so unreal to me, I'm still in shock(it happened 15 months ago), but for me time has stopped. I'm not going on, even if the rest of the world is, still in the stage where I just cannot talk about it, except here on this forum where everyone is going through the same grief and I feel comfortable to let it all out here and just say whatever is going through my mind at that moment without being judged. I hope you too, will continue sharing your thoughts with us. 

 

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I read a book about "The Sin Eater" in a culture where someone was appointed to bear the sins of the village, they had to live outside the village and come into town in the night to get food left for him.  (Interesting read) Well I always thought I could be the town "Worry Eater!"  Give me something/anything and I can worry about it for you!  I swear I can come up with more things to worry about in the middle of the night!  In the morning I think, why did I do that?  I don't know, I only know I've always had anxiety issues, I'm not alone, it seems to be a family curse.  I try prayer/meditation, calming scents, you name it...I finally got on Buspirone and it takes the edge off a bit but then I also had to go on Trazodone lowest dose to get any sleep at night.  It helps.  I can still have a hard time going back to sleep at times.  It's way worse since George died 16 1/2 years ago, he always had such a calming affect on me as I slept in his arms.  Sigh...

No, you're not alone, and definitely no judgment here!  I find people understand or they don't.  I love the ones that say, "Well, just do this or that!"  Ha, like I haven't tried that already?!!!  They don't know unless they've been through this.  Clearly we don't all have the same genes...

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