How Has Your Health Been?

[Sad_Widower]

My son, came to me today and said he wanted to come to my next doctor appointment.  I asked why, and he said “I’m worried about you.  You don’t seem healthy.  You are in your room all day, you rarely move anywhere other to walk Winston (our dog), you have been dropping weight and you are looking very pale these days. I want the doctor to really know how your health is going downhill.
I’m not going to sit around while you dwindle to nothing and drop dead.”  

FWIW, I am very aware of everything he’s pointed out.  I’ve known my health has decreased l, drastically since my wife’s passing.  I have lost over 50 pounds, I know I’ve become lethargic  (I went over eight months only leaving my room to get groceries once per week)—no exaggeration.  Ironically, when my wife paseed away she was worried about my health as I had a mini-heart attack 30 minutes prior (this is a whole other post).  One of her last words to me were “Are you okay, honey?”

So I am curious. How was your health after losing your significant other, and if poor, how long did it take you to become healthy again?

#    I do want to point out, as I told my son, I recognize my challenges and am not ignoring them.  I try to make myself eat, I am trying to engage with different people, and most importantly focused on my objective of moving overseas to begin helping a community.  I know I need to be healthy in order to do this so am trying.  
Thanks. 

[MartyT]

Voices of Experience: How Grief Can Affect Your Health

Physical Reactions to Loss

Physical Effects of Grief

[Boho-Soul]

3 hours ago, Sad_Widower said:

I went over eight months only leaving my room to get groceries once per week)—no exaggeration.  

So I am curious. How was your health after losing your significant other, and if poor, how long did it take you to become healthy again?

When my husband died I only went out once a week, sometimes every 2 weeks to get groceries - not sure how long that went on for though.

I'm so glad your son loves and cares for you and wants to support you in your healing journey. Such a blessing ☺️ 

My health has been so off since my husband died. My body still has shock responses (trembling) when I talk about what happened, been having digestive issues that come and go, major muscle tension and pain in upper back/shoulders, profound fatigue, and migraines/headaches. When I have a good day I think, "Oh wow, this is how it feels when nothing hurts and I feel good." I'm doing all I can to take care of myself, eating nutritious food, napping when needed, going for walks and doing my yoga (which gets bumped when I have a headache). I've been seeing great practitioners, I call them my healing team - they include my therapist, a physiotherapist, functional neurology, myofascial massage and craniosacral. It's been almost 20 months since Michael died and I'm still working through my health stuff. Not sure how long it takes to heal from traumatic grief - I suppose everyone has a different timeline.

Please take care and be well Sad_Widower 🙏

[kayc]

Well for what it's worth, it took me 14 1/2 years to get my health back after my husband died.  It's not that I wasn't aware of it, I just didn't care.  When my Arlie (dog) died of cancer, it was his parting gift to me, as I hit rock bottom health wise...and it's the catalyst that started my action.  I went on Keto for life.  I lost 75 lbs, kept it off, started intermittent fasting, got my blood sugar under control, and my health started reversing!  (I'd lost and then gained weight when George died). 

 

[scba]

10 hours ago, Boho-Soul said:

When my husband died I only went out once a week, sometimes every 2 weeks to get groceries - not sure how long that went on for though.

I'm so glad your son loves and cares for you and wants to support you in your healing journey. Such a blessing ☺️ 

My health has been so off since my husband died. My body still has shock responses (trembling) when I talk about what happened, been having digestive issues that come and go, major muscle tension and pain in upper back/shoulders, profound fatigue, and migraines/headaches. When I have a good day I think, "Oh wow, this is how it feels when nothing hurts and I feel good." I'm doing all I can to take care of myself, eating nutritious food, napping when needed, going for walks and doing my yoga (which gets bumped when I have a headache). I've been seeing great practitioners, I call them my healing team - they include my therapist, a physiotherapist, functional neurology, myofascial massage and craniosacral. It's been almost 20 months since Michael died and I'm still working through my health stuff. Not sure how long it takes to heal from traumatic grief - I suppose everyone has a different timeline.

Please take care and be well Sad_Widower 🙏

Good to know that you practice yoga. I do too

[Boho-Soul]

21 minutes ago, scba said:

Good to know that you practice yoga. I do too

I've been doing yoga for years and find it so therapeutic. I'd been working part-time at a yoga studio before the pandemic hit and hubby died. I now do yoga at home which is great as I can self-pace and determine how long I practice given how I feel that day. It's something I continued after Michael passed and I really think it's what help me stay connected to myself and gave me a sense of normalcy as everything was falling apart.

[nashreed]

Well, fortunately or unfortunately (depending on how I feel at the time), my health is good. I just saw the doctor yesterday and my A1C is fine (for a Type 2 Diabetic), blood pressure is good... I have back issues and sciatica, but my internal health seems fine. I sleep great now that I don't have the stress of being a caregiver anymore. 

I wonder: Why do I bother going to the doctor and keep my health maintained? I guess it's because Annette would want me to, but I don't want to live a long life- it's the last thing I want. I can't wait for this life to be over. I'm resigned to the fact that no one on Earth (other than my mother and brother, who don't really care about my feelings or what I think) cares about me. I am not important in anyone's life and never will be again. Most of you have children or one good friend to "live" for. I have no one. I'm honestly a burden to my family and they'd be saving money if I were gone. I just so badly do not want to be here anymore. I'm not suicidal, as there's too much risk of failure, but I just don't have the will to live anymore. I have nothing and no one to look forward to. 

 

[kayc]

James, what is your A1C (diabetic)?  Triglycerides?  HDL?  That is more of an indicator than anything as it tells how your insulin resistance is doing.

 

[nashreed]

5 hours ago, kayc said:

James, what is your A1C (diabetic)?  Triglycerides?  HDL?  That is more of an indicator than anything as it tells how your insulin resistance is doing.

 

My A1C is 6.6. It could be better, but my doctor seems fine with it. I'm on a Jardiance-type drug (Synjardy), so does insulin resistance apply? He didn't mention HDL, but I will try to get into the portal for the lab place and see what it says. 

[kayc]

Diabetes T2 IS insulin resistance.  I would assume so with number in the 6s.  Most doctors are happy with it under 7.2 and consider they're doing their job but fail to realize that the meds they give patients often makes their insulin resistance worse by having the body create more insulin response whereas if they dealt with the diabetes itself, they wouldn't need it.  Your triglycerides?  HDL?  

[scba]

My health has improved a LOT since THAT day.

BACK THEN

I didn't eat for months. Meaning eating just the essential to keep functioning biologically at the minimum state of life which consisted in sleeping crying and watching TV. My chest hurted everyday. I couldn't keep a conversation. I couldn't walk for more than 15 minutes. 

I was developing symptoms of PTSD without being noticed. 

I lived with my parents for 2 years and I didn't go back to work.

NOW AT 8 YEARS

I eat healthy food and eat the 4 meals.  Home made Mediterranean diet and cooking myself. No take away. 

I go to work by bike (20 mins) 2 or 3 times a week when there is good weather. 

I practice yoga 3 4 times a week. 20 minutes.

I sleep 7 hours with no pills. 

I haven't developed any autoimmune or chronic illness. Hope it stays this way. 

I don't endure symptoms from PTSD. When they come, then they go.

Ana