Feeling Really Sad

[lorikelly]

well i am having a bad moment, missing mom so much and wishing i could just see her. i just can't understand why God can't let them come to us and tell us what we need to hear so we can feel better. when i get up there i am going to ask this. i am thinking about going to a medium, i think i have found a good one from another site i go to about adc's (after death comunications), i am going to a seminar in Phil PA in oct about this. Does anyone think i am crazy? my mom believed in this alot, i use to tell her they were fakes and that being catholic we are suppose to believe in this. now look at me, she i probably laughing about it. i just need to hear from her or i am going to lose my mind, i don't feel very strong and am not sure if i can get through this pain.

also to top things off i was just told my wonderful best friend Spanky (my dog) only has 6 mos to 1yr to live due to chf (ths same thing my mom died from) why does it all have to happen at once. is God trying to see how strong i am? i don't like this .

i also was just told by my doctor that i need to see a hematologist due to some crazy stuff with my blood work. i really don't care to much about this, i think maybe it would be a blessing if something was wrong ( i am having a pity party right now). i know for my husband and children it would be terrible , but the way i feel now is horrible. i just want to give up it hurts to much. i am trying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am also decieding if i should take a antidepressant , my dr has me coming back in 4 weeks to seee how i am by that time mom will have been gone 3mos. i still can't sleep. maybe i should start something espically with spanky being sick. i tried paxil but stopped it due to side effects . it doesn't help that my mom suffered from anxiety and depression and i know it can be hereditary. i think i always have suffered from anxiety and pushed the depression down. now it has hit me full force. i am reading alot , come here and another site and see a great counselor (she thinks meds may help but will support me anyway i want to go) i am just so confused. HELP.. i wish there was somewhere you could go to get rid of this and then come back and feel better. oh well thanks for always listening, you people are great. lori

[Rayon]

Hi Lori,

I don't think you're crazy wanting to hear from your mom so bad that you're thinking of going to a medium. I've known a couple of people who have gone to mediums like Sylvia Browne to hear from their deceased loved ones. I was talking to my mom today about how it would be nice to hear my dad's voice once again. She said "no way"! And would like my dad just rest in peace. I just want to let my dad know that I did love him even if I never told him, and to know that he's forgiven me. But I probably wouldn't go to a medium myself. I'll probably ask God to tell him for me.

I'm also sorry about your dog Spanky. I have a dog Brownie, who I love and is very loyal and loving. But if medication works for you, then by all means take it. Right now I just cry like crazy, talk to friends, and pray. So far, it's gotten me through although it's only been 2 weeks since dad died. I also try to stay very busy and exercise. I know it's not easy for any of us. But keep coming back here and vent all you want...we're all here for each other.

[shell]

lorikelly,

Here I go again....I sound like the local pill-pusher, and HONESTLY, I'm not. I spent my whole life being plaqued by anxiety problems and refusing to take meds for it. When my dad died, after a couple of weeks, I fell apart and was having one long continuos anxiety attack. After a week and a half, I realized I could not take this anymore and that I had to get myself together for my mom and brother and kitties. I called my doc and went on antidepressant and anti-anxiety medications. I now take the antidepressant once a day and a very weak dose of the anti-anxiety drug to help me sleep. I don't know if I would have made it without them.

The only reason I am talking about this is that I wish I had had someone I could have talked to about these meds because it would have eased my mind in a major way AND I would have suffered for less time. So, if you think you need them, don't be afraid of them. Sometimes we need help because we just are so overwhelmed we can't manage ourselves.

I'm so sorry about your Spanky. It is like losing a child. I hope your blood work turns out to be ok. I'm sorry you have to go through that too! It does seem that "when it rains, it pours", doesn't it? I wonder about God too. If he's testing me, then I think I've been tested enough!

Good luck.

Hugs,

Shell

[thartz]

Hi Lori -

I totally understand why you want to go and see a medium. You feel that you have questions that need to be answered and I think that is great that you are able to do that. I know that a lot of people dont believe in them but you have to do what is right for YOU and no one else. YOU are the one that is having these feeling and everyone deals with things in different ways. I hope that you find the answers that you are looking for and we will all keep you in our thoughts and prayers.

[MartyT]

Dear Lori,

Regarding your questions about taking medication: Shell and your counselor are right, in the sense that certain kinds of medication, when properly handled, can be a very helpful short-term intervention that can get you over a very difficult period. Consider how much time and energy you’re spending worrying about your symptoms (insomnia, anxiety, depression) and what is going on in your life right now (missing and mourning the loss of your mom, worrying about Spanky’s serious illness and limited life span, wondering what’s going on with your abnormal blood values, etc.) and how successful you are in keeping yourself on an even keel. If you’ve tried other things that are not working for you (alternatives such as relaxation, guided imagery, physical exercise, meditation, prayer, ritual, etc.), then it may be time to consider taking medication. The most important thing is for you to be referred to and evaluated by a good consulting psychiatrist, neurologist or other medical expert who is knowledgeable about psychopharmacology and knows the difference between normal grief and clinical depression and anxiety, so that whatever medication is prescribed for you isn’t too much or too little, or something that is inappropriate or addictive.

Given your interest in After Death Communication (ADC), I want to share with you and others the following announcement I’ve just received from Sandy Goodman (dear friend, bereaved mother and outstanding writer), whose wonderful articles and poetry have appeared here in our forums from time to time:

Please join Ocallah, Spiritual Medium (http://www.ocallah.com ) and Sandy, author of the book, Love Never Dies: A Mother's Journey from Loss to Love (http://www.loveneverdies.net) in a live chat on Friday, September 22, 2006 at 7:00 P.M. Eastern time, in the chat room at http://www.spiritspace.net

Ocallah and Sandy will be answering ~ and posing ~ questions about life after death and the immortality of love. AND ~ if spirit chooses, Ocallah may also do a few readings. Hope to see you there!

[STARKISS]

Hi All,

I too have been taking medication for about nine months now and the doctor will soon start taking me off it... I feel alot better since I started the medication and I am hoping once I am off of it I will still feel okay... Take Care and God Bless You Shelley

[lorikelly]

Thank you Marty for taking the time to respond to me. i will definitely think about what you said. i think i have alot of my plate right now and i know that is making this so much harder. i will continue to do my grief work b/c i know that by doing it , i will and can get better. thanks lori

[Leann]

Hi, lorikelly:

For about a month and a half after my Dad died, I had my days and nights all mixed up. During the day, I would either sit in my Dad's rocking chair and rock all day (I felt that numb) or curl up in a ball on my bed and sleep all day. Then at night, I would start to think about things and be up all night crying. Sometimes, I would feel so keyed up, I would get up and vaccum, journal, etc. I finally realized I needed to do something, so I went to my doctor and got some anti-depressants; I had to be somewhat ready to face my students when school started. After about two weeks, I began to feel like I could lay down and rest at night, even though I didn't go to sleep. Just here lately, I'm beginning to be able to sleep through the night. So my days and nights are beginning to be in order again. I'm glad I did it. So if you think you need to do it, talk to your doc. I also have a wonderful guided imagery CD by Belle Ruth Knaperstack (not sure of the spelling on the last name) about easing grief and I use it a lot. It's comforting to me...sometimes I just play it over and over. That may sound silly...but it helps.

If you try the medium, please let me know how it works out for you. I know what you mean....more than anything, I'd like to hear from my Dad and for him to tell me that he'll always be with me. I've heard some folks say they've been able to see departed loved ones in dreams, but I've not experienced that. Other than the night I saw the star, I haven't "heard" from my Dad. And that bothers me a lot. I went to the cemetery this weekend to see him and talk to him. That helped me some. My brother and I got his stone picked out and paid for this weekend as well....so it will be in before winter time. That will help me also. I guess I just want his reassurance right now....

You and your beloved Spanky continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs,

Leann