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Answering Machine Message

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The message on my phone is Sean's voice. I haven't changed it although several people have commented. My oldest son has asked me several times when I'm going to change it, he thinks it's "wierd." Quite a few people have said to me when they call "Wow that really freaked me out." And a few people have said they haven't left messages because they have to hang up before the message comes on. I can understand what they are saying but it's the only place I have his voice. It's an answering service through the phone co. so I can't just save a tape. I had his voice on his cell phone, but his work turned it off so that's gone. I do still have that cell phone though, with pics and text messages. There were 2 messages on there that he had sang himself. two goofy songs and the one you could hear him say "Come on Honey, sing it with me." and you could hear us laughing. It's a shame I don't have that to keep. It just somehow feels to me, besides the fact of never hearing his voice again-- that I'm just getting rid of it, it feels cold to me-- like ok he's gone so let's just get rid of this. Anyway I guess I just wanted to see how you all saw this, and if anyone wondered about the same thing. Laurie

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i know exactly what you mean.Is there a way of uploading it to say an mp3player or taping it soemhow, so you can listen to it and not startle others?

I faced the same thing with my mums msn messenger. It used to sign in whenever dad had the computer on and I couldn't bear to delete it. "Margaret ahs just signed in, made me smile but sad at thesaem time, but I jsut couldn't delete it.It's still there, but dad packed up her computer,so shes never signed in now.

to me voice tapes or messages on a phone are no different to a photo album. One thing taht Bindy Irwin has over most of us, is the sheer volume of tapes of Steve and Terri and her family having a great time doing what they love.

keep it somehow, I would :)

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My – how timely your posting is – and how very important it is to be able to capture our loved ones voice. If there is any way for you to save the small pieces of Sean’s voice – do it. With todays technology I would imagine that any thing is possible. Don’t lose these precious pieces of him – find a way to save his voice.

My Jack has been dean now nearly 15 months – and I always thought that I might – just might - have his voice on some old tapes I had from our vacations in 1996 and 1997. The tapes could not be replayed with the equipment I currently possessed – so I took them to a place that converted them to a DVD – two hours worth. I watched it tonight – and there sprinkled throughout all the fun of our vacations was bits and pieces of “Jacks Voice” and even a few shot of him. I was ecstatic. So happy that I sat down and wrote Jack a letter to tell him the joy at hearing his voice again. Here is the letter I wrote to Jack tonight.


Dear Jack, 10-25-06

It’s been a long time since I’ve written you a letter – but tonight I just had to share something with you that was so wonderful. The last time I heard your voice was on July 30th, 2005 – after you fell asleep that night – the next day you were in a coma and never regained consciousness – and you died at 6 p.m. on the 31st.

I recently had some old tapes of our vacations to San Diego and Michigan in 1996 and 1997 converted to a DVD. I received them today and played the two-hour DVD tonight – and there it was – YOUR VOICE. I can’t tell you how wonderful it was to hear you speak again. Finally after nearly 15 months – of silence - I hear the sweet sound of you – and the way you spoke. To have this recaptured for me - and for Tom and your granddaughters is a huge gift.

You spoke as you always did – with little reflections of humor and kindness – just the way I remembered how you sounded. Now I will never be able to forget your sound – your voice. At one point on the DVD I walked in front of the camera – and you said, “There’s John Boy”.

You came to life for me tonight. You made my day – just like you made my life. It was a sweet moment – and now I have it as a keepsake – and anytime I want to hear your voice I can. I had not forgotten – but sometimes those who grieve – say that they begin to forget what their loved one sounded like. I am so grateful to know that I will always have this wonderful reference to always reach for when I need to hear that sweet voice again – the one that graced my life for so many years.

And Dusky was on the tape too – along with a few shots of you.

Today I found you again – and heard your voice speak to me.

I will give Tommy a copy for Christmas – so he will have you with him also.

I love “lots lots” - and miss you “more than you will ever know”.

Your John Boy


If you have a way to save Sean’s voice – do it – it will be worth whatever you need to do to get it done. And there is nothing “weird” about having his voice on your answering machine – if it gives you comfort – keep it as long as you want. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s’ “Weird”. What’s weird is that anyone should question anything that would bring you comfort and help you heal. My e-mail address still is “DuskyJJ “ – which stands for Jack and John – and the message that is attached to the address still says “Jack and John”. I’ll change it - if and when I want to. It’s my way of keeping him with me. Don’t get rid of Sean’s voice because others are “Freaked out”. What freaks me out is how little people in general understand grief and how to deal with it.

Speak out – let your voice be heard – in defense of his.

My best to you always,

John – Dusky is my handle on here

Love you Jack

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I felt the same way when I lost George's voice on my ans. machine and also on my cell phone. In my mind I will always hear his voice, even though I don't have a recording of it. It is one of the things I fell in love with about him, it made me feel so comforted.

Your son thinking it is weird to still have his voice on your phone reminded me...after George died, I sent a card to a friend of ours, and she commented because I had used a return address label that had "George and Kay Huntley" and she joked, "Did he come back or something?" I didn't think it was joking material...I did order some address labels with just my name on it, but it felt like yet another piece of him was being crucified...I hated all of the little losses along the way.

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Laurie, you keep that message with your precious Sean's voice. Somehow you should be able to record a copy of the message. And to keep the answering machine message is simply a comfort to you and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. It is a piece of Sean. People don't understand who haven't been where we are. How sweet every word spoken is.

I was lucky enough to run across a few tapes I had forgotten about and as Dusky has done I am in the process of having them put onto DVD for permanent saving. Every whisper of Gene's voice in the background is the only time my heart flutters anymore...every frame he appears in....the once he speaks my name.

KayC...how cruel a comment about the address labels.

I still sign in "ustwo"...I thought it would be forever. Gene is in my heart always so it's still the two of us with every breathe I take.

Always Gene!


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Yes, I thought the address label comment was very inappropriate. She isn't at all a cruel person so I know she never meant to be insensitive, it's just she hasn't gone through this and has no idea what it's like.


Have you tried contacting your cell phone company to see if anyone there knows a way to copy the message onto something for you to keep permanently? Cell phones and sim cards don't last forever, so it'd be nice to have a copy somewhere else too. I'd go in to their office, it seems the people in there are a little more expert than some of them you get on the phone.

Also, my mom has been widowed over 24 years and still has her phone listing under my dad's name. Who cares what others think, it's up to us to decide how to handle things...no right way or wrong way, just OUR way.

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Thanks Kay, It wasn't my cell phone, it's the house phone that has his message on it. It's just an answering service thru the phone co. I talked to my son about it. He's 17, and you know kids that age are so electronically smart. He's gonna see what he can do. Thank you, Laurie

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This is an interesting topic of discussion. Sorry Laurie, I don't mean to interrupt or intervene. Two days before

my significant other passed, my cell phone crashed. Under warranty it was replaced...little did I understand

or realize I was losing our most intimate words/writings/thoughts. Text messages and voice mails all wiped away!

No final words.

My significant other spoke French, as a rule, she left me a message on my cell everyday. The translation

was always waiting for me on the answering machine at home. I used to race home...

My way of saying at all costs recover and store his words. I'd give anything to hear her voice one last time.

Gently, William

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I think you're so lucky to have his voice recorded. I don't think it's weird at all. I called my ex-husband's phone after he died, wanting to hear his voice, but his heirs had already taken the tape out and I don't know what they did with it -- I'd give anything to have his voice on tape but I don't.

Actually, I should ask his partner if he has anything with his voice on tape -- but I think he would have told me if he had, he's been so wonderful and supportive to me. They were only together five months when my ex died.

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