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Uncaring Boss


STARKISS

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Hi All,

I am writing about a boss I had just recently, She was very uncaring to her staff especially when someone had a death in the family... I can remember when my mom died she demanded me to come back to work after just one week.. But my dad told her to give me some more time and after a big fight she let me have another week off... Then when my dad died she told me that if I did not come back right after his funeral that I would have to be replaced...Now she has lost someone this someone is her dear father and she realized how uncaring she was acting to everyone else... She came in to the other boss and said I really did not understand about someone dying but now I do... We still did not get any thing like I am sorry from her.... But now I feel bad that this has happen to her.... Should I approach her and say I am sorry for your loss and comfort her even if she was so uncaring to the rest of her staff... Please I need some help with this..... Take care Shelley

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Shelley,

I know it would be easier to just turn your cheek and treat her the way she treated you. Sit down for a minute and think about how that would make you feel inside. You have to go with what would feel right in your heart. Also, how your mom and dad would want you to treat other people. The fact that you asked the question lets me know what your answer will probably be. Take care.

Missing my Mom,

Trudy

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Hi Trudy,

Thank you for your reply, I will probably think of what my mom would have said and go with that answer... Which probably would be show understanding and caring and support for her.... That is what mom would have done... Take care Shelley

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As delicious and as satisfying as it might be to give her a taste of her own medicine, I agree, be the bigger person and offer your condolences. Maybe even offer her your insights into the grieving process, maybe she'll have a greater respect for you?

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That is an excellent point, Shelley.

You and others may be interested in some of the outstanding resources listed on the Grief at Work page of my Grief Healing Web site.

You might consider printing and taking to your work place one or more of these articles, just to raise some consciousness about this issue, or to get a conversation going about it. You could post an article on a bulletin board, leave it on a table in the coffee or "break" room, or give it to your co-workers or your supervisor to read. Eventually you might even persuade your supervisor to offer a workshop or an inservice on the topic.

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Hi Marty T,

Thank you for your reply, I will definitely check out the articles and maybe if more people do the same than more of us could have some knowledge about grief before it happens to us... The companies also might become involved in some way and if that happens than more and more people can be helped along the way... Take care Shelley

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Tonight I found out what an uncaring boss does. I was looking for some paperwork on the buget and I found notes that she had been writing on everything I have missed doing since Teresa died. To my face she was understanding, but behind my back she has been taking notes. I am shaking with anger and I feel so betrayed. Should I let it go or confront her. The notes were in plain sight in a common drawer.

Janine

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Hi Janine,

I have worked for a very uncaring boss for along time now, at first it was hard to let it go but you really need too. You see I think when it is time to leave this earth and join God all the uncaring bosses in this world will have to plead there cases before they will be accepted into heaven... So I know it is hard but try to let it go... Take care Shelley

P.S. If you do not then they have won the fight and that is what most of them want... To see us all get upset....

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STARKISS; :mellow:

You were right. I have enough demons to fight and some just are not worth expending energy on. I am letting it go. If she is so uncaring and petty, it is her problem, not mine. I will live with the relief knowing that my sisters loss has taught me the deepest levels of compassion, enough to let it go.

Thank you

Janine

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  • 3 weeks later...

Shelley,

I remember once I had a pastor that had never lost anyone dear to him until he was nearly 60 and now he's lost his parents. He had told me how hard it was for him to know what others were going through when he had not experienced it. I'd say, treat the person as you wish you'd been treated...life's a learning experience. God Bless You!

Edited by kayc
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Hi KayC,

Thank you so very much for your reply, I did what my mom would have expected me to do if she was still alive... I treated her the way that I would have wanted to be treated... Thanks again and Take Care Shelley

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Just remember to treat others as you would like to be treated. I feel approaching the boss is a good thing. People don't understand until it happens to them. Lossing a love one is one of the hardest things to go thru. You may find you have someone to share with and help yourself along with the helping your boss.

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