STARKISS Posted January 4, 2007 Report Share Posted January 4, 2007 Hi All,I am writing about a boss I had just recently, She was very uncaring to her staff especially when someone had a death in the family... I can remember when my mom died she demanded me to come back to work after just one week.. But my dad told her to give me some more time and after a big fight she let me have another week off... Then when my dad died she told me that if I did not come back right after his funeral that I would have to be replaced...Now she has lost someone this someone is her dear father and she realized how uncaring she was acting to everyone else... She came in to the other boss and said I really did not understand about someone dying but now I do... We still did not get any thing like I am sorry from her.... But now I feel bad that this has happen to her.... Should I approach her and say I am sorry for your loss and comfort her even if she was so uncaring to the rest of her staff... Please I need some help with this..... Take care Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trudy1964 Posted January 4, 2007 Report Share Posted January 4, 2007 Shelley,I know it would be easier to just turn your cheek and treat her the way she treated you. Sit down for a minute and think about how that would make you feel inside. You have to go with what would feel right in your heart. Also, how your mom and dad would want you to treat other people. The fact that you asked the question lets me know what your answer will probably be. Take care.Missing my Mom,Trudy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted January 4, 2007 Author Report Share Posted January 4, 2007 Hi Trudy,Thank you for your reply, I will probably think of what my mom would have said and go with that answer... Which probably would be show understanding and caring and support for her.... That is what mom would have done... Take care Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trudy1964 Posted January 5, 2007 Report Share Posted January 5, 2007 I thought that would be your answer. Sometimes it's harder to be the bigger person. I think your doing the right thing. You sure are making you mom and dad proud.Missing my Mom,Trudy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted January 5, 2007 Author Report Share Posted January 5, 2007 Thanks Trudy,Thank you for your reply, and your kind words.. Take care Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lorikelly Posted January 5, 2007 Report Share Posted January 5, 2007 Shelley You need to say you are sorry because it is the right thing to do. just because she was that way to try not to be that way to others. we can only learn from our mistakes and from others. Lori Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted January 5, 2007 Author Report Share Posted January 5, 2007 Hi Lorikelly,I think that I am just going to do what my mom would do if she were here and treat her like I would want to be treated... Thanks for replying and for sharing.... Take care Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul S Posted January 7, 2007 Report Share Posted January 7, 2007 As delicious and as satisfying as it might be to give her a taste of her own medicine, I agree, be the bigger person and offer your condolences. Maybe even offer her your insights into the grieving process, maybe she'll have a greater respect for you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted January 7, 2007 Author Report Share Posted January 7, 2007 Thanks Paul,Yes, I think I will try being the bigger person and do what you said in your post... Take care Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Claire Posted January 8, 2007 Report Share Posted January 8, 2007 In the UK, I have noticed that large companies seem to be taking this issue more seriously than they once did, offering extra training etc. How effective this will turn out to be however, remains to be seen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted January 8, 2007 Author Report Share Posted January 8, 2007 Hi Claire,I wish that they would have grief workshops offered with all companies so people could understand a little better thanks for replying to my post... Take care Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted January 8, 2007 Report Share Posted January 8, 2007 That is an excellent point, Shelley.You and others may be interested in some of the outstanding resources listed on the Grief at Work page of my Grief Healing Web site. You might consider printing and taking to your work place one or more of these articles, just to raise some consciousness about this issue, or to get a conversation going about it. You could post an article on a bulletin board, leave it on a table in the coffee or "break" room, or give it to your co-workers or your supervisor to read. Eventually you might even persuade your supervisor to offer a workshop or an inservice on the topic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted January 8, 2007 Author Report Share Posted January 8, 2007 Hi Marty T,Thank you for your reply, I will definitely check out the articles and maybe if more people do the same than more of us could have some knowledge about grief before it happens to us... The companies also might become involved in some way and if that happens than more and more people can be helped along the way... Take care Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janine Posted January 9, 2007 Report Share Posted January 9, 2007 Tonight I found out what an uncaring boss does. I was looking for some paperwork on the buget and I found notes that she had been writing on everything I have missed doing since Teresa died. To my face she was understanding, but behind my back she has been taking notes. I am shaking with anger and I feel so betrayed. Should I let it go or confront her. The notes were in plain sight in a common drawer.Janine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted January 9, 2007 Author Report Share Posted January 9, 2007 Hi Janine,I have worked for a very uncaring boss for along time now, at first it was hard to let it go but you really need too. You see I think when it is time to leave this earth and join God all the uncaring bosses in this world will have to plead there cases before they will be accepted into heaven... So I know it is hard but try to let it go... Take care ShelleyP.S. If you do not then they have won the fight and that is what most of them want... To see us all get upset.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janine Posted January 13, 2007 Report Share Posted January 13, 2007 STARKISS; You were right. I have enough demons to fight and some just are not worth expending energy on. I am letting it go. If she is so uncaring and petty, it is her problem, not mine. I will live with the relief knowing that my sisters loss has taught me the deepest levels of compassion, enough to let it go. Thank youJanine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted January 13, 2007 Author Report Share Posted January 13, 2007 Hi Janine,You are most welcome, I am glad I could offer some support to you at this time... If you need to talk you can email me anytime... Take care Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted January 29, 2007 Report Share Posted January 29, 2007 (edited) Shelley,I remember once I had a pastor that had never lost anyone dear to him until he was nearly 60 and now he's lost his parents. He had told me how hard it was for him to know what others were going through when he had not experienced it. I'd say, treat the person as you wish you'd been treated...life's a learning experience. God Bless You! Edited January 29, 2007 by kayc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted January 30, 2007 Author Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 Hi KayC,Thank you so very much for your reply, I did what my mom would have expected me to do if she was still alive... I treated her the way that I would have wanted to be treated... Thanks again and Take Care Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peggy Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 Just remember to treat others as you would like to be treated. I feel approaching the boss is a good thing. People don't understand until it happens to them. Lossing a love one is one of the hardest things to go thru. You may find you have someone to share with and help yourself along with the helping your boss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted January 30, 2007 Author Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 Thank You Peggy,I really appreciate your reply, when I do not know our need other people advice about things about grief it is so nice to be able to come here for help. Take care Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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