DesertBob Posted October 11, 2007 Report Share Posted October 11, 2007 Corrine,I take no offense at all. Be yourself.I haven't encountered the "you should be over it by now" phenomenon, although, I'm only two months into it and I think most people would cut you at least that much slack. I am fortunate that the quarters from which that sort of thing would come to me, won't matter much.Linda's family are my main support, as they were for Linda and I (my own parents died several years ago). Linda's folks -- particularly Linda's mother -- are grieving just as much as me and it will not go fast for them either, so they will not be the ones to pull the "just buck up and move on" routine. They are, by the way, people of (authentic) faith, prayer warriors, the whole thing, and it doesn't bother me at all. But they are old and the kind of people who "never left the farm" so to speak, and this whole thing is tough enough for them; I won't burden them with that part of my struggle, even though I know they would still love me, as Linda did.Kayc,No it's not an autoimmune condition, although it often does (and in Linda's case, did) cause dis-regulation of the immune system, primarily in the form of marshaling a massive body-wide inflammatory reaction to every little thing. It's called a "cytokine storm".The disease etiology for MCS / EI isn't yet known for sure. It's thought to be a combination of genetic vulnerability and environment. The ME part of it is too complex to summarize in a sentence or two but it is classified as a neuro-immune disease, and a lot of people with ME, when they have had it a long time and/or grow old enough, tend to get MCS as well. Linda lived in Michigan during the PBB disaster of the 70's and although you can never be sure, you can date the early rumblings of her health problems to that time. She was not a sickly child by any means.PBB was a flame retardant accidentally mixed into dairy cattle feed all over west central Michigan. Her grandparent's cattle were sick and dying, and not knowing any better (and being somewhat poor) they butchered and fed the tainted beef to the extended family before they knew what the cause was. Other family members have strange problems too, just not as bad.--Bob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stallyn Posted October 11, 2007 Report Share Posted October 11, 2007 Welcome Bob, sorry for your loss, I lost my wife to cancer March 2nd, she was 37 I read your post about faith and religion, too many times my self I measured God by the so called Christians, churchgoers, and had alot of the dogma and politics crammed down my throat, even when my wife was dying, I never seem so many hypocrites around her than ever in my life, but importantly before she died she opened her eyes and said "God" as a bright light was in the room, thats a little consolation that gives me hope, she had alot of faith and never went to church either, I don't go now, can't stand the snoot suits and fake persona's. I admit the only reason I am alive is Myrna wants me to live so I can see her again in paradise. anything else doesn't matter anymore... Please share your feelings here and know you ARE accepted, this is the most powerful and wondrous place to beP.S. My dear friends, I did take the meds today William Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dpodesta Posted October 11, 2007 Report Share Posted October 11, 2007 I feel lucky, I found a church where we don't have many "snoot suits" even the preacher doesn't wear a suit and doesn't even tuck in his shirt. Now I know there are a lot of churches out there where everyone thinks they are better than the people around them, and I have had preachers that were the same way. I will be the first to admit that it is not all in religion or going to church, you can have just as strong a faith without it. Bob, I will not take your comments personnally, however I may respond to them. I don't hold anything against anyone, as stated earlier, I have learned that not everyone thinks as I do, and I can't make everyone see things like I do although sometimes I wish I could then things at work would be a lot easier.(oops did I just say that?)LOL.William,I am glad that you took your meds today, I would hate to see Wendy get after you again.Love alwaysDerek Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corinne Posted October 11, 2007 Report Share Posted October 11, 2007 William,I am so glad you remebered your meds. Now how about you Wendy did you remember yours? Hugs & prayers,Corinne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzanne Posted October 12, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 I don't feel like I have to be in church to talk to God. I'm not comfortable in church. Too many people. Most especially now. Will and I didn't belong to a church together althouth we did attend with our families at times. I have my faith even though it falters at times. I just feel like I can talk to God anywhere I am. Actually my best time is every morning in the shower. Almost feels cleansing in more ways than one. Maybe that's wierd. But it's my way. Also at night, under the stars.SuzannePS -William, glad you remembered your meds. Don't want Wendy's wrath upon you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenb Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 Bob, I certainly respect your view...I am lucky like Derek, where after about a year and a half after Jack died, the ladies where I exercise go to this church and I tried it. The pastor's shirt isn't always tucked in and he takes himself as an example, loves his wife and children and is a great guy, the people wear what they want from older ladies dressing more but mostly just jeans, etc. No one pushed me to anything...I just sat in the last pew and regained what I had long before. But I am lucky and it's what I really needed. I loved my husband so much and really feel he's sitting on my shoulder, helping me along the way. I'm at the point where I try not to think about anything I feel is bad, only the good thoughts. I does become a habit. I'm glad you have a support group. Hang in there, Bob.Your friend, Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stallyn Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 Derek, Corinne & Suzanne, thanks for reminding me the way you do, I had some near misses with bipolar going bad, I feel the same Suzanne, church to me is not a building but the body we carry around with us, some of you are lucky with a good church, In Phoenix where I live, I seen only mediocre or lukewarm ones. Well Like I stated earlier, when God came to take my wife it was in plain view of her friends and family, I wasn't there but she came to me twice by the mercy of God, now that may be debatable but Karen, you feel it too, so I can't be too crazy?? A HUGE HUG to my dear friends! William Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzanne Posted October 12, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 WilliamYou are not crazy. They do come to us and it is by the mercy of God to give us comfort. You have to be in tune or something to accept those communications.Suzanne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyJ Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 William,I am so glad you remebered your meds. Now how about you Wendy did you remember yours? Hugs & prayers,CorinneOh Crap...be right back !Love,WendyDerek, Corinne & Suzanne, thanks for reminding me the way you do, I had some near misses with bipolar going bad, I feel the same Suzanne, church to me is not a building but the body we carry around with us, some of you are lucky with a good church, In Phoenix where I live, I seen only mediocre or lukewarm ones. Well Like I stated earlier, when God came to take my wife it was in plain view of her friends and family, I wasn't there but she came to me twice by the mercy of God, now that may be debatable but Karen, you feel it too, so I can't be too crazy?? A HUGE HUG to my dear friends! William Oh so I suppose you don't love me anymore? LOLWendy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dpodesta Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 Who doesn't love you anymore Wendy?Love alwaysDerek Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stallyn Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 Ohh my dear, I didn't mean to forget ya!! blame it on senility OHH Boy I am feeling really bad about this, you of all people should get recognition did you take your meds already? Luv,William Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenb Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 William, I definitely feel Jack's presence, sometimes more than others. Things will happen and I tell my daughter and she just says, "Jack's around now, you know it, mom." And I do know it. He's my little lepracon (sp?) sitting on my shoulder and I just smile 'cause I just love him. It's a good feeling to smile out of love and not frown out of pain.Your friend, Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stallyn Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 Karen, you are definitely in better tune than myself, I "see" more than experience the presence, a tune up is in order Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenb Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 Bless your heart, William. Have a peaceful evening.Your friend, Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyJ Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 Who doesn't love you anymore Wendy?Love alwaysDerekWilliam doesn't love me !WendyOhh my dear, I didn't mean to forget ya!! blame it on senility OHH Boy I am feeling really bad about this, you of all people should get recognition did you take your meds already? Luv,WilliamAwww okay I forgive you ! Don't feel bad I was just teasing you. Yes I took my meds cause Corrine already reminded me, did you take yours?Love,Wendy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dpodesta Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 Well I love all of you.Either one of you had better not make me come over there to make you take your meds.Love alwaysDerek Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stallyn Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 I love all of you also, I guess we should take our meds and double check or we will have a sore butt! You too Karen, you made me smile Love,William Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyJ Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 Well I love all of you.Either one of you had better not make me come over there to make you take your meds.Love alwaysDerekI love you too Derek, but while you are over here making me take my meds could you fix the door frame for my front door ? After Steve passed we had a bad storm and the wind took the door right out of Melissa's hand and tore the wood in the door frame. Love,Wendy Well I love all of you.Either one of you had better not make me come over there to make you take your meds.Love alwaysDerekCrap Run William run ! I have asthma and don't run too well so save yourself !!!Love,Wendy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dpodesta Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 Sure Wendy, I would love to fix your door.I hope you can run fast William.Love alwaysDerek Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stallyn Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 A runnin I go......LOL..........whew! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyJ Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 A runnin I go......LOL..........whew!Oh the heck with it can you fit 2 on your new bike? You pedal and I will sit on the handle bars ! Wendy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dpodesta Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 I can drive faster than you can ride. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyJ Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 (edited) Well this is true, but you can't zip in and out of peoples yards and slip out a back alley ! William you better be good on that new bike of yours or we are gonners !Wendy Edited October 12, 2007 by WendyJ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dpodesta Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 Obviously you haven't seen my driving! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyJ Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 William change of plans...hide...hide !!!Wendy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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