Mrcelloboy Posted November 30, 2007 Report Share Posted November 30, 2007 Hello all.Some of you are a bit familiar with my story. I lost my fiancee Kathy just over a year ago to an accident. I hate being alone. I've attempted several relationships this past year, most recently (and most successfully) with a wonderful woman named Melanie.I thought I'd share some challenges that have come up recently. We seem to be working it out. Maybe others can learn from this or have experience to share.Two main things we've figured out recently.1.) I'm often very sensitive to changes. Of course losing Kathy in an instant was a traumatic change that I had no control over. In the months following I had to move out of the house we'd shared, give up the future I'd envisioned, etc. I bought a house on my own and got the basics "handled" (I thought anyway) while I was still in shock. Now I'm starting to notice that even small changes stress me out. I've come to believe that it's that when I lost control of situations, even small, it feels like all of the recent-past changes "domino" on me. Sound familiar to anyone else?2.) In basic terms, Melanie is in love with me and enthusiastic about creating a life together, complete with a whole new world of experiences and memories. I, on the other hand, as much as I love her and want to develop this new bond, have a huge set of memories from my lost relationship. I'm still letting go of these, and it may take a long, long time to get to where I really have the space to fully appreciate some of the new stuff with Melanie. Even though she's a trained Nurse Practitioner, and understanding of my feelings, it's difficult for her sometimes that we're in such different places emotionally.We're doing our best to make it through these challenges. I hope we can come out the other side together. so far we're able to stay open and communicate our way through the minefield, as hard as it is at times.Maury Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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