KathyG Posted December 17, 2007 Report Share Posted December 17, 2007 When you answer a phone call and an unknown caller asks to speak to your loved one who died, what's the best way to respond? When someone calls and asks for my husband, if I don't recognize the caller's voice I just say, "I'm sorry, he isn't available. Who's calling, please?"I don't want to say something like, "Oh, he's dead," because I don't want strangers to know I'm alone now, and giving the information to the wrong person could have bad consequences (ID theft, robbery, etc.). If the caller tells me who they are and it seems OK to tell them Bill is gone, I do that. But I'm not sure what to do when the caller won't identify himself or herself, and they respond with a question like "I'll call back. When should I try to reach him?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenb Posted December 17, 2007 Report Share Posted December 17, 2007 Hi Kathy, Sounds like you're on the right track, that's what I did. I also kept Jack's and my name on the return address stickers that go on envelopes, my first initial and last name in the phone book, etc. I don't park my vehicle inside the garage so it looks like someone's here. Unfortunately, in today's society women who live alone have to take care of themselves carefully, and there are many ways to do it. Sad tale, huh? I've heard of things to do to those marketers, if you're not on that list so they don't call. If you have a "Hold" button on your phone, just put them on hold until they go away. I suppose there are some funny things to do to these persistent callers.Your friend, Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnieO Posted December 17, 2007 Report Share Posted December 17, 2007 I just had this discussion with my aunt. Her husband died when she was 42, she still gets an occasional call for him, she is now 80. She does not say he has died, he is just not available. She decided by now everyone that knew either of them knows he passed away , so these calls are all sales/telemarketing etc. She also just puts her initials in the phonebook and does not let workmen know she is alone. I think you can never be too careful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted December 17, 2007 Report Share Posted December 17, 2007 Kathy, dear ~Just so you know, there is a "Do Not Call" list designed to take the burden off family members having to explain that a loved one has died. You can read more about it here: Deceased Have "Do Not Call" List, Too To register a loved one's name with the Deceased Do Not Contact List, call 212-790-1500. You can also register online at Deceased Do Not Contact List.If a caller insists on knowing "when I should call back," you could simply say, "Please put us on your Do Not Call List," and then just hang up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KathyG Posted December 18, 2007 Author Report Share Posted December 18, 2007 Great tip, Marty. Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyJ Posted December 18, 2007 Report Share Posted December 18, 2007 Well I got one for all of you. Guess who got called for Jury Duty ? Yep you guessed it my husband, something tells me the government isn't even aware that he passed. I find that strange since he collected disability for many years, then again with our government I am not surprised !Wendy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenb Posted December 18, 2007 Report Share Posted December 18, 2007 Well, Wendy, I get mail for my husband's deceased wife along with mail for my ex-husband. Weird, huh?Hang in there, my friend....Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted December 18, 2007 Report Share Posted December 18, 2007 I get more credit card offers for George than I do for myself! It's annoying, but I've accepted the fact that I will get junk mail for him and for my ex-husband for the rest of my life. I've even gotten some for my ex's new wife! It was way harder in the beginning to get mail or calls for George, because it was a fresh reminder that he was gone. I think you get more used to it in time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stallyn Posted December 20, 2007 Report Share Posted December 20, 2007 heres another wierd one, I receive statements monthly of Myrna's international remittance fund which is depleted since march and they still yet have to close it, seeing a letter TO: MM, just sinks me to a low every time, not to mention packing her things too... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted December 20, 2007 Report Share Posted December 20, 2007 William, have you sent them a copy of her death certificate and asked them to close it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stallyn Posted December 20, 2007 Report Share Posted December 20, 2007 Kay, I thought I did, I send many to so many debtors and its gotten so difficult to even look at the paper anymore, I didn't have access to it, may have to call to get it out of my mind again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted December 20, 2007 Report Share Posted December 20, 2007 William.Maybe your could "return to sender" to get their attention? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stallyn Posted December 20, 2007 Report Share Posted December 20, 2007 Kay,I should do that, good idea, I just don't think anymore, just wish this nightmare would end.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corinne Posted December 20, 2007 Report Share Posted December 20, 2007 William,After John died, there were constant letters from creditors for him. I just wrote on the envelope "Return to Sender Recipient Deceased". It did seem to work. Are you taking your meds? Hugs & prayers, Corinne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stallyn Posted December 20, 2007 Report Share Posted December 20, 2007 Corinne,Why didn't I think of that? I spent alot of money and ink sending letters and ignoring phone calls and it was so simple. Well I missed a few days, I'll go right now and take them (((HUGS))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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