Lonely

[joelsgirlkathy]

It is saturday night and I have the blues missing my husband, tryed to stay busy today cut the lawn took the dog to the park but you see everybody walking holding hands and missing my life that we had together. what to do when you are home alone and alone

just wanted to to know what others do

thanks Kathy

[Mrcelloboy]

Hi Kathy.

I lost my Kathy 18 months ago tomorrow.

Today I biked with the local club. It was a beautiful day and there were lots of cycling friends on the ride and at the picnin afterwards. Kathy and I met biking, and that activity had been a large part of our life. I still feel her missing on rides, no matter how beautiful it is.

I tried napping in the afternoon but started feeling a bit depressed by my inactivity so I walked to a coffe house about 8 blocks away just to get out and about. I stopped and shed a few tears on the way there, in the grief that I still feel at losing Kathy. At all the changes I had and have to deal with.

I just keep putting one foot in front of the other and try not to demand too much from myself other than moving forward slowly.

I keep reminding myself that just getting to the next day is progress.

Maury

[dpodesta]

For one, coming here and posting. I found many a time in the begining that just coming here and posting someone would reply pretty quickly and then it didn't seem as lonly. There is something about knowing that there are others out there going through the same thing you are and are willing to share their experiences.

Love always

Derek

[karenb]

Hi Kathy,

We know what you're going through and bless your heart. It's so difficult. It will be three years for me the end of July. I've gone through many feelings as you might do as well. The only thing I know is to try to fill your time being busy with one thing or another....let the tears come when they need to....be angry if you need to....whatever comes for you try to let it happen....they call that "grief." It was the most difficult thing I've gone through but I'm getting out on the other side and I know I'm better for having dealt with all these things. Just take care of yourself and know that it will get better. Come back and let us know how you are.

Your friend, Karen

[dpodesta]

Karen,

So nice to hear from you again, I have been away from this site for awhile and there are so many new people. It is nice to see someone familiar.

Love always

Derek

[joelsgirlkathy]

Thanks to you all it does help some.It is sad to know others are feeling my pain.sometimes it is unbearable.

thanks so much Kathy

[leeann]

((((((Kathy))))))

[DoubleJo]

Kathy: Although we can't possibily feel your particular pain, know that we walk with you in your anguish. This is terribly hard. It is not like any other pain. Try to let the pain wash in and out of you with your tears. It will take time for all this to clean your heart and allow you to sleep again at night. It just "is". Someday it will be "was". But ""now" is all you can deal with and feel. Anguish will turn to grief which eventually turns to deep sadness. We have been there and we are with you now.

I lost a husband of 27 years, then lost another 4 years later one month after marrying. It is amazing how broken hearts csn expand to keep holding love in.

My best- DoubleJo

[Lin_in_Cave Creek]

Hi Kathy,

I also understand your pain. It's now 9 months since Gene died. When I'm having a sad day, I find it helpful to talk to Gene and God. I let the tears flow, while letting the sadness and anger out. I find that it really helps to talk to someome, verbally or e-chatting. I love posting.

Today is my first Mother's Day without him, and he won't be sitting across from me at the restaurant, and although I would prefer to dine at home so that I don't have to see other women sitting across from (or next to) their husband or significant other, my sons want to take me out...bless their young, innocent hearts, so later today I will go out and make the best of it.

This morning I awoke and immediately began gathering tools to put together an audio cabinet. Before I began, I had a chat with Gene (as though he was in the room) asking him to help me. I could see him lovingly goofing on me because he knows I know very, very little about handyman work. Gene was a jack-of-all-trades and did everything. When he learned that he was not going to survive this cancer (#4), he labeled all drawers and cabinets in his workshop so that I would at least be able to find whatever I needed to do a project, and made a list of tradesman to call if I was a total failure. Gene must have been guiding me today because the audio cabinet came out great!

Karen, in answer to your question, whenever I'm feeling sad and alone, I talk to Gene and indulge in a project or watch a TV show that will make me feel like he's here with me and close to him. Please keep posting...it's part of the healing and recovery. We are here for you.

May God bless you and keep you in His care...Lin

[kayc]

Kathy,

Nights and weekends are the hardest, it's a battle most of us still fight some years later. Keep busy, try to get out and visit now and then, do things you know are healthy for yourself whether you feel like it or not...take a walk, fix a healthy dinner for yourself, allot some time to chores but don't forget to spend some time on things you enjoy doing just for yourself. Call people, come on line here and post...when everyone else seems gone, there will always be someone here that understands and is likely going through the same thing.