Happy New Year...my Love

[NotCoping]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0g_ZA0nlbto

Imagine a world where no music was playing

And think of a church with nobody praying

If you've ever looked up at a sky with no blue

Then you've seen a picture of me without you

Have you walked in a garden where nothing was growing

Or stood by a river where nothing was flowing

If you've seen a red rose unkissed by the dew

Then you've seen a picture of me without you

Can you picture heaven with no angels singing

Or a quiet Sunday morning with no church bells ringing

If you've watched as the heart of a child breaks in two

Then you've seen a picture of me without you

[Rosemary T]

Hi Melanie,

This will be my first New Year's Eve without my Lou as well. In the beginning Lou and I would do the whole "big party" thing on New Year's Eve but later we found much more enjoyment having a nice dinner out (an early one) and then playing some cards with friends. We always made sure we were home before midnight, in fact, I was yawning and trying hard to keep my eyes open long enough to watch the "ball drop" on TV. Spooning with Lou and falling into a wonderful, restful sleep, knowing we had spent another year together was all the excitement I needed.

It will be very strange to start the new year without him. The "firsts" of everything are so hard. I already did the first Valentines, the first birthdays, the first anniversary's, etc. All that is left now is the first New Year's Eve and the first anniversary of my dear Lou's death.

Come here often and continue to rely on this forum and your "cyber friends" when needed. I am told that "in person support groups" are also helpful but have not found it to be so in my case. Believe me when I say I know where you are coming from. I never knew that this pain would come so soon, be so horrific, and last so long. I'll be thinking of you! Take care!

[MikeC]

Mel,

Once again you have expressed your feelings beautifully with a song. It will also be my first New Year's Eve without my wife. Like Rosemary and Lou, Janet and I didn't do the big party thing - we enjoyed being in each other's arms as the new year arrived.

Take care, Mel - we will all get through these "firsts" together.

Mike

[kayc]

Mel,

The words brought tears to my eyes that match my soul. Today I took down the Christmas tree and decorations and put them away for another year...as I stored them, I ran across so many things George has given me...I remember Christmases past, and it is hard. That man gave me enough to last a lifetime...jewelry boxes, music boxes, jewelry, things to use in my crafts, Christmas ornaments, pots and pans, he even tried his hand at giving me clothes (only he saw me as smaller than I am ). He always knew just the right thing, something for the wall, a refrigerator magnet...

Tonight my friend and I sat for a couple of hours talking about them (my George and her Jim) and our experience was the same...they were both one of a kind, to us. How we clicked when we met, and we shared stories, it was good to reminisque. I don't know if I'll ever have anyone to share life with again or not, or if I will remain alone, but this one thing I know, I was loved, and wherever George is now, he still loves me, and I him. I made the mistake of trying to rebuild my life (too soon) with the wrong person and it turned out disastrous...I know George doesn't hold it against me, he was the one person in life who understood me. He thought I was the smartest most wonderful person in the world...(don't any of you tell him otherwise ) how I miss that man. I have been hurt really bad, but I know that eventually time will heal (I hope), and I know if George could come to my rescue, he would...but he can't...instead I have to try and salvage this one myself. Maybe I have to call upon the person inside of me that George saw all along and stretch myself to be her.

I hope this new year brings something better for us all than the last year did. Thank you for sharing your song with us Mel...I think we are all feeling that way. It's sure funny how years can go by, and we still feel the same...we learn to cope, we adjust somewhat, it's not as intense (the pain of loss) but we still miss them and would give anything to have them back. What power they wielded on our souls! What are the odds that two people in the world should meet and click like we did! How fortunate we were!

[NotCoping]

Thanks everyone. About the best I can do right now is read. New Year's Day will be one month for me...

[mlg]

But a month ago you didn't think you would make it, so now let's aim for a month and a day and so forth.

[JeanneC]

Hi Melanie:

Mary Linda is right. One month ago we were all very concerned about you.

Like others have said, Alex and I did not do any partying. We did stay up till 12 and toasted each other and gave a kiss. This will also be my first New Year's without Alex. It is six months now for me and Melanie I will tell you that when I first joined this group I thought I would not survive. The holidays are definitely tough and of course our lives have changed forever.

I have to definitely put it in my mind that I must move forward and go on with my life as best I can. Having friends and/or family to be with and talk to is a great help. I have also noticed that I have met some really nice people on this site.

Happy New Year to everyone and may God Bless,

Jeanne

[shhh65]

Mel,

Music is a very important part of my healing. I hadn't heard that song in a long time. The words are so true. Music makes me cry but that's what I do best these days. I'm glad to see you post again. To me it is a brave thing to do...to put a part of our lives out here for others to share. I've discovered it is another important part of my healing and I think you find that to be true as well.

Last year, it had been 8 days since Harry died suddenly, so I know that I was still in a state of shock and denial. We never did anything special for New Year's eve as he always had worked that day and had to work New Year's day too. He had to be up for work at 4:00 a.m so he would go to bed around 8 p.m. He would kiss me and say "See you next year!" Tomorrow would have marked his first anniversary of retirement. He was going to be walking out the door of the grocery store (he was a meatcutter) as a retiree January 1, 2008. That has been very difficult to accept. He worked so hard all his life and was so looking forward to being "his own boss" and our plans for camping and fishing. It was my first New Year's without him in 43 years.

I continue to pray for everyone here. There is no magic to end this grief. We just have to keep taking it one minute/hour/day at a time.

[marsha]

Mel - thank you for sharing that beautiful song. I put on a good face to the public, but the song expressed a lot of how I feel. Tomorrow will be 6 months to the day that I lost him, and would have been our 24th wedding anniversary. I'd like to spend the day being with myself and my memories. Peace for all of us, Marsha