Why Should I Tell My Pcp, He Doesn't Get It, But You Do?

[Suzanne R.]

I don't understand why I keep getting messages for me to go to my doctor. He's only a primary care physician and he only writes out prescriptions and orders tests only when I tell him I have a medical problem and when my husband was alive he did the same for him. He doesn't know anything about what it's like to go through the loss of a spouse. My PCP as a general practioner doesn't know anything about specialized medicine like cancer, grief, stress etc. He'd write a script for pills and then I'd be left to suffer the side effects and as it is I'm already taking 5 prescriptions for medical problems. It was my understanding that we must do our 'grief work' and I can't do that when I'm sedated. I'm sleeping too much as it is. And besides if I die of a broken heart what difference does it make. My husband is gone and no one is worried about him. He's in a better place than I am, or so I've been told.

P.S. I would like everyone who replied to my posts that each and every one of you who sent me gifts, hugs, condolences, words of comfort and wisdom, even though I along with everyone here who are in much grief and sorrow, and even though I am so depressed and crying, I am so touched and amazed at your heartfelt compassion. Besides my grief support meeting at Hospice these grief sites are the only place I can go that you all make me feel so understood and each of you are so supportive. I read your emails and replies again and again. You are all so helpful and I am truly grateful.

[MartyT]

Suzanne, dear ~ It's good to know that here you're finding the understanding, comfort and support you need and deserve. I think you will appreciate what Kelly Buckley had to say about health care providers and grief in her blog earlier this week; you'll find it here: Grief vs. Depression.

[kayc]

Suzanne,

I don't know how well you know your doctor. George and my doctor I've known for 33 years. I worked for him for four of those years. We live in a small town and bump into each other. When George died, I was angry that the doctor hadn't taken his complaints more seriously and he hadn't been sent to a heart specialist until it was too late...the weekend he died.

I encourage you to tell your doctor how you feel...I did. And he was great, he told me to call him any time of the day or night, and not to "do anything", to promise him I wouldn't "do anything" (he was worried I'd commit suicide). He offered me sleeping pills, which I had filled but didn't take...I figured the situation wasn't changing so I might as well get used to it. He offered me antidepressants which I declined because I felt this was situational, not a chemical imbalance. But most of all, I knew he was there for me if I needed him. He made a mistake, a huge mistake, and I told him to never make that mistake again...if ever in doubt, send the person on to a specialist who was better equipped to make a diagnosis. Our heart to heart talk had a real affect on both of us. I remember crying and my doctor held me...he let the other patients wait while he listened to me. I won't ever forget it.

[SHeiss]

Suzanne,

I am so very sorry for your loss! I wish I could take some of your pain away, if even for just a little while. My whole family keeps telling me that I need to go to the doctor due to depression. I may be mildly depressed but who wouldn't be when you are told your dad is going to die? I am grieving and everyone does it and it is okay to do so. I don't want medicine, I just want my dad to be ok. So I sort of understand where you are coming from. Huge hugs, you are in my thoughts.

-Sharla

[Suzanne R.]

Suzanne, dear ~ It's good to know that here you're finding the understanding, comfort and support you need and deserve. I think you will appreciate what Kelly Buckley had to say about health care providers and grief in her blog earlier this week; you'll find it here: Grief vs. Depression.

Dear MartyT,

I would like to express my deep appreciation for the link you provided in your reply to my post. The blog that Kelly Buckley posted is very close to how I feel and think. I cannot thank you enough for understanding me. We each are going through so much and to know there are a few out there who has a clue, it's just too bad that those who have a clue are the ones who are in so much sorrow. Take care.

God Bless you.

Suzanne

[Suzanne R.]

Suzanne,

I am so very sorry for your loss! I wish I could take some of your pain away, if even for just a little while. My whole family keeps telling me that I need to go to the doctor due to depression. I may be mildly depressed but who wouldn't be when you are told your dad is going to die? I am grieving and everyone does it and it is okay to do so. I don't want medicine, I just want my dad to be ok. So I sort of understand where you are coming from. Huge hugs, you are in my thoughts.

-Sharla

Hi Sharla,

You are among the few who understands how I feel and I wanted to thank you for your reply. I too am so sorry for your loss. Those who know are those who in such sadness and pain. Take care.

God Bless,

Suzanne

[nats]

Suzanne,

We each have to do what is comfortable for us...I did go to my Dr. because I was/am having panic attacks and he prescribed

a mild anxiety medication that helps with the attacks and scared feelings I get, I am very aware of the risks of dependence

but I can not function with the panic and crying when I'm having an attack...they also help relax me as I always feel uptight and anxious, and hurry a lot now, but not sure why...

I look at it this way, anythng we do to feel better or help us feel better is worth a try because we feel such

pain and loss, so you'll have to decide...I will be praying you get the right direction...

NATS