Recently Lost My Wife

[Hop1964]

My wife passed away April 24 2010 she was forty a week before she had a massive hart attack she was in the hospital for a week when she died after the hart attack she had a bunch of strokes she never had any problems with her hart before. It has been 6 weeks and I'm lost this was my second marriage and I left my first wife for her, I am not the type of person to mess around with anyone but when I meet her there was an instant connection and it wasn't just for me she felt the same thing. Before long we couldn't help our self's anymore and it just happened and after it happened we couldn't stay away from each other and five years latter we married. I have never been so close to someone before and our relationship was unlike anyone's we know know, we had our disagreements but it was over right after and we went on we always went to bed not mad and we always held each other every night. She was only 40 and here I am lost we didn't have any life insurance and I am the only one that worked, her family told me they would help but only if I did what they wanted and they hardly know her we were together for 19 and the whole time my wife didn't hardly talk to them and here they are telling me what they want to happen. I'm in a daze ever since and I'm having a hard time doing any thing I just want to be with her I miss her so much I find my self just getting smashed so I don't feel it and that's not me, I'm just lost and I can't see feeling any different then I do know down the road I'm just lost lost for ever. Rob!!!!!!!!!!!! I love you Donna

[nats]

Rob,

I can feel your pain as my own I lost my wife 2/14/10, first you must take care of yourself you have a long road ahead and your going to need strength, second you came to the right place we all are right there with you, we know your feelings, emptiness, being lonely, and all that goes with this rough road we are traveling trying to get some sense of going on without our spouses, but it does get better, just take one day at a time and keep visiting here we'll all work thru this together with God's help....

I'll be praying for you......

NATS

[Kat2005]

Rob,

I am so sorry for your loss. It will be a year on the 23rd of this month that I lost my husband to a very aggressive form of prostate cancer. We were married 25 years and I miss him terribly.

You need to give yourself time. This is so new. In the beginning the littlest things seemed so hard to accomplish. I know alcohol seems like it helps you get through the rough times but sometimes it makes things worse. I know the pain is unbearble at times but you need to focus on taking care of yourself right now.

You have come to the right place. Everyone here knows what you are going through and there is always someone here to listen. This site has gotten me through some really rough days.

I will keep you in my prayers.

Take care,

Kat

[Queeniemary]

Rob, I am so sorry for your loss. Your Donna was so very young. I lost my husband, also to a massive coronary on Jan. 13 of this year. No warning, nothing. I was in the hospital with total knee replacement, and he was home alone with our little dogs with him when he died. Our daughter found him the next day. Michael was 62.

Kat was right, give yourself time...not saying that time heals things, but the shock will be begin to lessen and you will begin to be able to cope. Try to stay away from too much alcohol. I did a little too much of that and pain pills (for knee) in the beginning, and all it did was just put off being able to deal with my emotions. Now I limit myself to one small red wine at night, and NO pain pills.

Will be praying for you and for all of us in this club we did not want to join.

Mary in Arkansas (Queeniemary)

[Lainey]

Rob, it's not fair that Donna was only forty, but then it's not fair at any age. I am sorry for your recent loss, tomorrow will be the six month mark for me.

After the first shock wore off, I truly did not know how I was ever going to make it past the one month mark. I did, we all do.. and it does get easier as time goes on. Now I am finally able to enjoy looking at pictures that I took last summer with Lars in them. I am able to remember little things that we did together that were what made us unique as a couple. Regardless of the time you had together, these memories will become all important as time goes by.

Alcohol is not going to help, it takes the pain away momentarily, then it is back with a vengence, as you most likely have found out. Don't beat yourself up for using it as a crutch, you will know when you are ready to face things without it.

You must believe that the pain lessens in time and you will be able to find peace and comfort in little things day to day. All of us that are on this sight have had or are going through the same thing.

I hope that you are able to work things out with your in-laws, but remember that Donna was your wife and you, and only you, know exactly what she wanted.

Be strong, I am sending hugs,

Lainey

[Billw]

Rob, sorry to hear about your wife. This is a very hard thing to go through, I lost my wife on the 29th of April to cancer. This forum has helped me from day to day when I get lost. There are good people on here going through the same feelings and hard times you are. You are not alone. Please take care with the booze, as the others warned it can make it worse, not to mention grief does take a toll on our bodies. God bless you buddy, hang in there.

BW

[Nick]

Hi Rob,

I lost my husband 9months ago he was only 44 and in great health. Never saw it coming so hard to still believe. It's just not right he like your wife were way to young this is not something that is suppose to happen. I never worried about this it's just so shocking! Their lives were cut way too short my husband's life even though too short was very full! I try to remember all the things he and our family did and accomplish. I know who hard it is to comprehend I keep looking for answers but never find any. Be kind to yourself and think about how your wife would want you to continue your life without her.

Take care,

Leesa

[closs86]

Hi Rob

I am so sorry for your loss. she was just to young, I lost my husband opf 43 years on April 6th suddenly also to pancreatic cancer, he was diagnosed and gone in 3 weeks, His birthday is Sunday June 13th, and I am very anxious about it, my family is going to be together with my grandchildren and I don't want to upset them. I don't undertstand why we have to suffer like this, My heart is broken, Half of me is gone forever, the pain in my body is unexplainable. I wish you peace

Take care,

Karen

[Korina]

Rob:

I lost my husband of 10 years (almost), together for 20, last June. He was 41, and our first child only 4.5 months old. Unfair, unfair, unfair, as it is for everyone here.

These next days, weeks and months are going to be very tough, and often it will be all you can do to put food in your mouth, sleep, or simply put one foot in front of the other. But you will find a way, and your beautiful wife will be proud of you. You will know what to do to honor her. And I agree with others here, Donna was your wife, and while I do hope you are able to come together with her parents (remember, they are grieving the loss of their child), you are her husband and you know what she would want.

I hope you keep coming back and find the comfort in this forum that I have.

Korina