melina Posted August 15, 2010 Report Share Posted August 15, 2010 Thanks for your supportive words before my husband's funeral. I can barely remember what happened other than there was a lot of crying. Lots of hugs and "you know we're there for you", some food - and then we're left alone. No word from anyone since. It's quiet here. Three of my sons and one daughter-in-law will be leaving in a couple of weeks to continue their studies. Our youngest, the 19 year old, will be here still. It would be almost easier to be completely alone so I wouldn't have to help him with his pain and grief as well. Seeing the pain in my sons' eyes is almost worst than my own pain. I get panic attacks with sobbing when I go to bed, then panic attacks when I wake up. In between I'm just existing. I should do something, but I can't seem to get up off my butt. We just moved into this house in June and had big plans for fixing it up - we were looking forward to doing it together. Now I don't even know if I can afford to stay here - let alone fix it up. I don't know where to go, what to do. I feel like I'm just going to exist and then finally be released to death so I can be with him again. Melina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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