The Grief Is Overwhelming Today

[Jennalee]

I'm having a horrible day. I'm just in the pit of despair right now. I do suspect part of it could be hormonal due to the time of the month, but I'm not sure. Even so, that doesn't make it feel any better. My heart has been really hurting all day, more so than usual. I'm tired and weepy and feel like a hurricane of grief is just bearing down on me right now. I called an old friend hoping for some comfort and she suggested that I'm just now feeling the full extent of my grief and I may feel this horrible for the next few months. Boy am I sorry I made that call! She's never lost anyone close to her so I guess I should take her "comfort" with a grain of salt. I sincerely hope this pain lets up, even just a little, within the next couple of days cause I'm not sure how I'm going to stand it.

[WendyB]

I feel the same way. I hope it does let up some for all of us.

*Big Hugs*

Wendy

[MartyT]

I don't know if this rings true in your particular cases, but this day (September 11) tends to be a difficult day for many people who are grieving. See September 11 Was a Weepy Day for Me

[kayc]

It's understandable that you will have some days that are particularly worse than others...but by the same token, you will have some that are not. Your friend was trying to understand what was going on with realism and isn't too far off base, although it wasn't what you wanted or maybe needed to hear. What did you want and need your friend to say to you? TELL her so she knows, she can't read your mind, and you're right, if she hasn't gone through it, how can she know? But the truth is, in the first couple of weeks we are sometimes in shock and busy with planning funeral arrangements, notifying people, etc. Then all of a sudden everyone goes home and we're left alone with our grief and changed lives...that's when it begins to sink in when the phone rings it's not going to be their voice we hear. That's when it gets especially tough, and maybe that's what she was thinking about. But yes, hormones can play into it, and as Marty pointed out, it could be the day today is. I would try to avoid the news/t.v./radio today. Maybe put on some music or spend time with a friend, get out and take a walk, but try to avoid anything that might bring you down more. Remember, whatever you are feeling and going through today, it won't stay like this, you will have ups and downs but eventually it will level off more.

Take care of yourself,

Kay

[melina]

I've been feeling horrible today as well. Yesterday I almost thought I was getting through this grief. Things weren't too bad. But I've been sobbing on and off all day, ever since I got up. I can't imagine there are any tears left. I'm hoping this is an all-time low and that things will turn around. Let's hope we face a better day tomorrow.

Melina

[Imissyoumommajo]

I have been feeling especially emotional today. This whole week for that matter. Everything makes me want to cry...things that have absolutely nothing to do with my mother and my eyes tear up. I feel like I just want to go away for awhile. I feel like I'm going crazy. I have been very moody...it's not fair to my husband and son. If it is the whole 9/11 thing...that would have to be subconscious for me. I haven't really been thinking about that at all. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for all of us.

[Jennalee]

Oh thank God! There is hope after all! Only a few hours after I posted this, mother nature kicked in as I suspected (sorry boys!) and the hurricane gradually lifted over the course of the evening. I'm still sad, lonely and depressed of course, but it's not anywhere near that gut-wrenching, near suicidal sorrow that had me in the absolute depths for the last few days. It seems this was hormonal and if that's the case, I'll take it cause that means it does let up a bit.

Honestly, I'm a tiny bit sad that I'm definitely NOT pregnant cause part of me would have loved to have seen a part of Ajay live on, however, in my heart I know that would have just been too hard for me to handle. Gosh I miss him though. I can almost hear him say, "See! I told you it was woman things!" and that does make me smile.

[Korina]

I am so glad you are feeling better. Remember, hormones or not, you will have ups and downs (the infamous roller coaster of emotions). But if you recognize that some days will be really bad, and others will be better, and slowly, the better days will come more often, you will get through it.

It sounds like Ajay had a great sense of humor. Scott's sense of humor was one of the things that everyone loved about him . I learned from him how important it is to have a sense of humor.

Korina

[MZM]

Oh hunni, hope you have a better day today. Glad you feel a little better..it does go like that though and I know exactly how you feel. All of a sudden, theres nothing left in you - and then somehow we make it through. We all never know when theres going to be a change in mood. One minute we could be ok, and then next, something like a memory, a song, something they left like a cigarrete in your car...can make you go insane. I have these herbal tablets called Rescues and while I do believe it doesnt really work, just taking them makes me feel like Im helping myself. I also believe that letting it all out does help....

We're going to be ok, ok...lotsa of love to all