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I know what you mean! Its been almost 4 years for me. June 4th is the date Im dreading!It will also be my Larrys Bday. Some days are better then others! But the pain is always there. You do learn to live with it but its hard! I dont know how long its been for you? But I didnt have this site till lately. Keep posting here the people here truly know and feel your pain. We all are on this journey not by choice! I have survived this long if that helps you. Some people heal quicker then others. I wish I could say I was one of them! I was with my husband for 30 years. So I hate being alone and a widow at 52!! Hang in there. I pray for peace and happiness for us all no matter how long it takes! Cris

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If we could all wake up and find this was just a bad dream, it would be the best day in the world for all of us.

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I know its not a dream.

I keep going on as if it never happened. We talk as we have have for years.

Good Morning Hun,

How was your day,

What do you think I should do,

Good night sleep tight,

I love you...

If I could only hear an answer back to my chatter I would not feel I have lost my mind. We all deal with the loss in our own way.

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If you've lost your mind because you talk to your wife, then I've also lost my mind. Even though Lars has been gone 15 months I still say "good morning" and "good night" and "I love you" each and every single day.I've asked for his help in decisions that I have to make.It's hard to stop doing something that you've done for so long.

I think most of us talk to our loved ones many times during the day.


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Listen closer and you will hear...my Ruth speaks to me on a regular basis, I also longed to hear her respond

and at first it was silent, then one day while going about some chores my mind was focused on making a tough choice,

I thought if only Ruth were here she would give me the right direction, I closed my eyes focused on her and my way

of reasoning and within seconds I heard her voice just as if she were standing next to me....I will say when you hear them the the first

time it will take your breath away....Keep the faith and keep talking she is listening....


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Debbylh, I know exactly how you feel! My husband & I were together for 30 years. Im only 52. Im so lonely for him it takes my breath away sometimes!! I cant believe Ive made it this far without him! He use to say to me Time Marches on Cris it stops for no one!I quess hes right in some ways. But my life seems to have stopped with out him! Hugs to all! Cris

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  • 2 weeks later...

Everyday when I awake

I keep hoping this is

all a dream,

and I have been asleep

for a very long time..

Oh how your words capture what I felt for the longest time! Thank you for sharing! Now though when I wake, I am eager to continue to fulfill the dreams Melissa and I shared, and excited about the new ones that have been born.

How blessed I feel to have moved beyond the place your words so truly describe!

Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann

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Yes, I also keep hoping I will awaken to find this was a nightmare...not reality. My thoughts go out to you,


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