What Have You Done With Their Ashes?

[Deb625]

I've had a journey with a lot of "extra's" thrown in. I've finally after 10 months of "requesting" been granted what is left of my (common-law) husbands ashes. While I know it only behoves the family legally that I have recieved these, I am simply grateful. I have a few ideas of how I would like to honour Michael, the first is skylanters, the second is floating lanterns. (Skylanterns and Floating lanters are proving hard to find).

My first "thought" is to go to his grandfather's & grandmother's on the anniversary of his death and scatter some of his ashes on thier grave. I know he would want to be with Grandpa - they had a special relationship, but also his Grandma (she was special too)... I plan to do this alone on the anniversary of his death (17 May). I will also when I find a place that sells skylanterns - releaae some of his ashes to the heavens...

Michael's friends that he played guitar with for years and years would also like some to honour him down at the river where they all played - I'm hoping I can find a floating lantern that would work for this... We will also disperse some of his ashes at a campfire up at the "rustic" cabins, where we all went for years and years...

I may be different, but, I want to share Michael with those that loved him, so we can keep and share in our hearts the memory of what a beautiful man he was - Michael's initials were MJC - Majic - he is definitly a light that will ever shine in my heart and a light that will shine for all that knew him...

I'm looking for any other ideas of how to honour Michael. If anyone has or would just like to share what they did, Please share. Thanks, Deb

[Guest Nicholas]

I had my son's ashes placed in two caskets - one was going to go back to his place of a birth (a little village in the N E of Thailand) and the other to my local Thai Buddhist Temple in S W London. Unfortunately his family back in Thailand started fighting over his "estate" and so I have decided not to go back to Thailand. That casket will eventually be taken to my local temple, the other will stay with me. I think I'd be very upset if I didn't have this reminder of him with me even though he believes (or would have believed) that he had now moved onto his next existence.

I guess it is up to the individual, if you had a special place, a park or lake or whatever. It might also depend on your religious beliefs.

Good luck

Nicholas

[Queeniemary]

Deb, I have most of my husband Michael's ashes in a Arizona Red Rock Urn. It is on a bookcase under a portrait painted by a friend of ours, after Michael's death in January, 2010. Also a lot of our Arizona memorabilia is on that same bookcase. This past week my daughter and I and 8 other friends (2 of them have lost spouses in last two years also) went on a New Orleans trip, and cruise. I scattered some ashes off the beach in Cosumel, and my 2 friends and I mixed ashes from all three of our spouses, and quite illegally I am sure, scattered them over the side on the last night of our cruise.

I have other places I know he would like them scattered, Arizona for one, and a place here at home called "Hemmed in Holler", a difficult climb down to a wonderful waterfall. My grandchildren may have to do that one. Also we are doing a float trip this summer, the three of us, with families, and scattering ashes in the Buffalo River here in Arkansas.

I carried Michael with me everywhere I went on the trip, until the last night when we scattered, and I am thinking it was very comforting, and I may get a jewelry piece that I can carry some of his ashes in.

Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas

[kayc]

We had always planned to scatter our ashes on our favorite walk...however, since George would get winded easily (not knowing he had heart trouble) we never decided on a favorite walk. I hung onto his ashes for two years and then it hit me...his favorite place to be was our "home in the clouds" (as he always called it), so I scattered them in the back yard, the same place I later buried our dog and our cat. I told my kids that's where I want my ashes scattered when it's my time to go...which may prove challenging if the place is sold before then. Still, I think it's an adventure they'd be up to taking on and they'll see their mom is disposed of there.

[Anne E]

Dick's ashes are sitting in a sack inside a black plastic box on the shelf in my bedroom closet. Dick and I agreed that we both wanted to be cremated and when the remaining one of us dies, our son is to mix our ashes and scatter them in a place of his choosing.

We have placed the stipulation that he can't "flush" us, pour us down the garbage disposal or throw us away with the garbage. We don't want to end up in the landfill!

When I am having a very bad day and just need to talk to him, I go in my bedroom, open the closet door sit on the end of the bed and just talk, whine, yell, cry, whatever. It is comforting for me. The first time I did it, our son was rather freaked out. Now he knows what's going on and just let's it happen.

I don't' think there is any great rush to make a decision. I think you just need to allow time to pass. The right decision will come to you when the time is right and you will feel peace and comfort about your decision.

God Bless You!

Anne

[Deb625]

Thank you all for your ideas and thank you for sharing how you all have honoured your loved ones, your stories are beautiful.. Take care, Deb

[STARKISS]

Hi Deb,

I personally have my parents ashes and have yet been told what to do with them from the family... I have three brothers and a sister who could care less what to do with them but our holding my moving on my journey until they are good and ready to say what they want... I can not have closure either...Shelley

[Dimcl]

I purchased half a dozen little brass vials and put some of my darling man's ashes in each. I wear one around my neck on a chain, along with his wedding ring. The others are "backups".

I plan on taking a road trip to Saskatchewan this year. The property that his father homesteaded in 1911, and that Glenn was raised on, is still in the family and that's where I will scatter his ashes. Although we both wanted to be cremated, Glenn's death was so sudden and unexpected that we never got a chance to discuss what he wanted done, so I hope that "going home" is what he would have wanted.

[nats]

I have Ruth's Urn on a memorial displayed in my family/great room and around it sits a picture of us, an angel, an eternal candle that burns daily during the evening, all the pennies from heaven she has sent, silk greenery placed above with white silk lily's and my one of many crucifix's hangs above the entire credenza, I also have a pocket Urn that is with me daily everywhere I go....she wanted to be scattered but left it up to me and we spoke about me wanting her with me at "my home on earth", then when I pass I wish for our remains to be combined and scattered on our favorite Bass fishing lake....even as I'm involved with my new found love we have both chosen to be returned with our spouse's who have passed....

NATS

[WindWalker]

Nothing yet. It's been five months, and my husband sits in the unopened cardboard box his ashes came in. In May, my daughters and I are going to take him to the beach we loved and spread some of the ashes there. I'm going to spread some of the ashes in the park we walked behind our home, and the rest will be buried with a memorial stone in his family's cemetery.

My mother, who took countless pictures all her life, wants to be divvied up in little film canisters and taken on every trip her loved ones take and be scattered there. Kinda weird, but apropos.

Blessings on discovering what will be right for you.

[Lainey]

After almost 16 months, Lars sits on top of his dresser watching over me at night. It gives me a sense of peace that even if he isn't here in the physical sense, he is with me in spirit,

Lainey