azbrian Posted May 24, 2011 Report Share Posted May 24, 2011 I am going to go to my first group meeting, HOV has one tomorrow afternoon. I have to admit, I have never been to any kind of group meeting like this before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted May 24, 2011 Report Share Posted May 24, 2011 I joined a spousal loss support group after Bill died last summer and it was quite helpful...everyone in the same boat so they get it and the leader experienced with loss. It was sort of like putting a face on everyone here who is on line...sitting together in the same room. I think you will be glad you went. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted May 24, 2011 Report Share Posted May 24, 2011 Brian, I applaud your decision to participate in a support group, and because you're planning to attend one sponsored by Hospice of the Valley, I can say without reservation that you will be very pleased with your decision. I know all of the bereavement counselors who facilitate the support groups at Hospice of the Valley personally; they are some of the most caring, professional people you'll ever hope to meet, and I know you will feel welcome and safe in the group you've chosen to attend. Remember that you are not alone in feeling as you do ~ I'm sure you'll meet others in your group who are just as reluctant to be there as you are. I would venture to guess that, until you became a member of this very online Grief Healing Discussion Groups site, you weren't sure that you would feel welcome and safe here, either. It takes great courage to acknowledge your need for the support of others, and I respect and admire you for taking this important step in your own healing. Here are some articles that you may find to be helpful: Finding Grief Support That Is Right For You Look to Your Hospice for Grief Support Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dwaynecg Posted May 24, 2011 Report Share Posted May 24, 2011 Brian I had never been to a group meeting before either. My first meeting I could not go I had some kind of a bug and I was sick for 2 weeks. The hospice councilors told me she has 3 every month. the last one is for the loss of your spouse or significant other. The first one I went to was for any one who had a loss on their family. As it turned out every one had loss their mate. I done a lot of crying and talking about the sercomstance of Pauline's death. If she was home or not, if I got to say goodbye, and how am I doing now. You will feel a lot of raw emotions durning and after for a while. But it really does help to talk to other people in person whom are going through what you are. I have been through 5 meetings now. I still cry and it is still hard to talk about but it does help. Just today I went to the store and seen a volunteer who worked at the hospital where I would take Pauline once a month or every other month and she had not heard of Pauline's passing. She hug me and said she was so sorry to her of her passing. We talked about Pauline and the giving person she was, and after I felt better. She was another person Pauline had given as small cross to and she wears it every day. The meetings are very good for your soul and other people your wife touched in her lifetime whether you know them or not carry a small part of her in their hearts that they will always have of her. I know it brings me comfort when I her people tell things Pauline had done for them. Go to as many meetings as you can God Bless Dwayne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted May 24, 2011 Report Share Posted May 24, 2011 I think it's great that you're going...I live in the country and there's nothing close to where I live so I wasn't able to attend group meetings but I think it would have been great support. Let us know how it goes and what you think of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunstreet Posted May 24, 2011 Report Share Posted May 24, 2011 Brian, I support your decision to attend the bereavement support group. I don't live in your area but boy if I did I'd be so blessed to attend anything that HOV has to offer. I think it wise to share our pain with like minded people who understand. Good for you. Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
azbrian Posted May 26, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 26, 2011 The meeting I went to this afternoon was great. I really can't say what went on but I think I can state the obvious (since this is what the meetings are about) that there were some hurt, grieving and angry people. The people there were nice and the counselor that ran the group was great. I can tell about what I did, I think, since it's me and I am in here right ? LOL Gotta stop that thinking thing.......... I did share about Ruth and some other things but it was the reader's digest version. I really wanted to listen and learn from my first meeting what others say and do not only at the meetings but in their every day lives. I also wanted to see if I have anything to contribute / support to others speaking at these meetings and I did. When the meeting starts everyone starts, (taking turns of course) just like we all do in here. If you have something to say, say it just like we all write in here. I will go back to this group in two weeks but I am also going to check out some of the other groups if I can, some closer to my age if possible. If you have groups in your area, please check them out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted May 26, 2011 Report Share Posted May 26, 2011 Brian, I am so glad that you went to the group and that it was a good experience. I believe in the face to face support as well as this forum. Good for you. mfh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nats Posted May 26, 2011 Report Share Posted May 26, 2011 Brian, I went to several Hospice Groups myself, they were very helpful I'm glad you shared your experience with us.... NATS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dwaynecg Posted May 26, 2011 Report Share Posted May 26, 2011 Brian Glad to hear you had a possitive responce from the meeting. I go to 3 meetings a month, I really them right now. Yesterday has been 3 months scence Pauline passed away, It was also The first time I cooked a home made meal. It was just as good as Pauline had cooked it. God Bless Dwayne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted May 26, 2011 Report Share Posted May 26, 2011 I'm glad it was a positive experience and you are open to explore other groups to find the one just right for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted May 26, 2011 Report Share Posted May 26, 2011 Brian, I just stumbled upon this blog post and thought of you immediately. I think you will appreciate this fellow's comments: Man Hug with a Newbie ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
azbrian Posted May 26, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 26, 2011 Thanks Marty. But sometimes, like today, I feel like I am just going through the motions. Probably because I have so much happening (and not) at once. A big one is finding a job. Again today I applied for a position at one of the largest retail copy/shipping stores in the world. A company that I have been applying to for a long time now and have not been hired. A lot of that has to do with the internals getting the positions. I lost out again two days ago because of that. The recruiter for the company keeps telling me to apply and let her know what I have applied for. I have passed all of their tests been interviewed by most of the District Managers, recruiters and managers in this area. One of the DM's that interviewed me a couple weeks ago sent me an email after the interview saying he was passing my info and background to more of the DM's in other area's of the valley. Yes, I am applying to a lot of other companies but this is the industry that I know best. Sometimes I just think they are kicking me in the head and seeing how many times I want to get kicked in the head. But this is the company I really want to work for. Right about now Ruth would be telling me I was being stubborn and if I want to stop feeling tormented by this company, stop applying. She would be right but she also knew that I hate to lose more than I am stubborn. Hmmm, speaking of Ruth, why isn't her picture showing up on my posts ? It's on in my profile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted May 26, 2011 Report Share Posted May 26, 2011 Hi Brian ~ I'm so sorry that the job application process is not going well for you at the moment ~ I know you have way too much already on your plate. Let's see if I can help you with the photo question. I'm not sure why Ruth's picture is not showing up next to your posts anymore, as I know it did for a while. Try this: When you go to Your Control Panel > Your Options, you'll see three "tabs" beneath Your Options labeled Settings Forums Profile Click on the Profile tab On the left side, you'll see a list of choices, including Change Photo and Change Avatar. (Note that "photo" and "avatar" are not necessarily the same, unless you designate them to be.) You will need to make a selection in each of these areas in order for your photo to appear on your profile page and your avatar picture to appear beside your posts. Let me know if this answers your question! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamespinnick Posted May 26, 2011 Report Share Posted May 26, 2011 Brian, James Pinnick here. Nice to meet you. Marty was so kind to share my blog with everyone. You should stop by Tempe Rec Center on Southern + Rural Tuesdays at 6:30pm. It's for spouses only. I've been going and its been pretty awesome considering the circumstances. Hit me up on my blog or swing by the group. It's worth your time. James- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
azbrian Posted May 26, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 26, 2011 Hi James, nice to met you as well. Wow, up until about two weeks ago I lived about 3 miles from there. Now it's about 40 miles. Any meetings ever anywhere else/ Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
azbrian Posted May 26, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 26, 2011 Thanks Marty, I didn't know you had to set both. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queeniemary Posted May 30, 2011 Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 There are a couple of grief support groups in our area, but none of them specific to only the loss of a spouse. I have been very fortunate however, in a little support group of three. My friend Dana lost her husband in April, 09, he was 48, my friend Tom lost his wife in September, 09, she was 60, and then my husband Michael died in January, 10, he was 62. We were all friends, through the theatre group of which I am the treasurer. After Michael's death, Tom said to me that he and I and Dana needed to get together and share a bottle of wine. A few months after Mike died, we did exactly that, and it was a very liberating experience for all three of us. We found we could talk about anything, cry, rant, rave (just as we do on here)and we all "got" it, as other friends not in this position do not. It has worked into a monthly get together for us, we cook a meal, sometimes watch a movie, but mostly just talk. We all see each other at other times, we are all involved in community theater, but this one time a month it is just us. It is so great that we each knew each other's spouses, we kind of feel like the three of them are watching over us, and approve of the get togethers. Having these two close friends in the same boat that I am in, and having this site has been my support, and it has worked for me wonderfully. If there had been a support group specifically for loss of spouse, I probably would have gone, but this has worked out very well for me. Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheryl Posted June 1, 2011 Report Share Posted June 1, 2011 Hey Brian, There is a widowed to widowed group meeting in phx that meets on wednesday nights. It is a new group that is trying to gather support. I was able to attend recently. They meet at 6:30 pm on central ave just north of camelback. You can find the group at Meetup.com, widowed to widowed, click the calender and you shouls see cental phx tomorrow. Hope you can check them out. Cheryl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
azbrian Posted June 1, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 1, 2011 Thank you Cheryl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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