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Music Video Of Song I Wrote About My Dad


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Not every son is close to his father. But for me, I was very close to my Dad. It's been over two years since he died, and I still think of him every day.

I took care of my Dad for 2 1/2 years. My Dad had a double whammy of a stroke plus Dementia. He had a stroke in July 2004. When he came out of rehab, the plans were that he was going into a nursing home, because my Mom could not take care of him by herself with her osteoathritis, and my older sister and my Mom do not get along well so my sister was not going to do it. So I decided to quit my job and take care of him 24/7, with my Mom compensating me with some of her and my Dad's pension and social security. But of course, I didn't do it for the money, and was given less than what I was making before. And my wife was against it, but went along with my wishes.

As some of you know, being a caregiver for a disabled person 24/7 with no vacation, no weekends off or anything, is extremely exhausting, and I learned on the job, giving him a bath, taking him to the bathroom, etc. His mind wasn't there all the time, but he was still fairly mobile. At any rate, about 2 1/2 years later, in May 2007, he fell out of his bed and broke his hip, and my Mom and I decided that because he became even weaker after his hip surgery, it was best for him to go into a nursing home where he lived for another two years. Towards the end, he was having problems swallowing and was getting repeated upper respitory infections, and going to the hospital several times, and my Mom and sister made the decision to put him in Hospice, where he was for about a week before he died. I didn't want him to go, but that was not up to me.

Anyway, I'm also a songwriter, and about a year after my Dad died, I wrote a song about him and made a music video for the song. It's a song about healing and moving on, so maybe some of you may find the song helpful, in some small way.

Here's the link on YouTube:

For me, writing the song was therapeutic and help me heal. I also posted the lyrics below the video, if you click on the expand/see more, you'll see the lyrics.

Just recently, I sent this to one of the people I met at St. Francis hospice here in Honolulu, and she asked me if she could use the video for one of her grief meetings with people who have suffered a loss.

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Matt, dear ~ What a wonderful son your parents have raised you to be! Your song is a beautiful example of using your talent to honor the memory of your father and pay tribute to the many legacies he's left you. Thank you so much for sharing this with all of us

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  • 2 weeks later...

Your welcome!!

But for me, taking care of my Dad when he became disabled was more a reflection of the kind of man he was. If he was not a kind, loving, compassionate and responsible father, I probably might not have taken care of him because that bond probably wouldn't have been there, so when people used to say they respect me for taking care of him, I just say no, it's really about what a great man he was.

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  • 1 month later...

Thanks again, and I also just posted the video of another song I wrote about my Dad, but I changed the story around to make it about the loss of a mother. I had written 3 songs already about my Dad by the time I started writing this, so I decided that for a change, I'd write it about a mother instead, but the feeling of loss is the same.

Here's the link:

It's going back in time a little bit, because the song in the first post above was written about one year after my Dad passed away so there was some healing in the song, whereas this song has a little more sadness because it was written a couple of months after my Dad passed away.

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  • 3 months later...

Well here's a music video of another song I wrote about my Dad. Just like the second song that I added in a previous post above, this is going back in time a little, because this song was written only a month after my Dad died, so the feelings of loss are stronger, whereas the first song in the first post above was written about a year after he died, so there was some healing from the passage of time. This song does not specify if it's about a mother or father, it could be either or it could be about a grandfather or grandma actually.

well here's the song 'I'll See You In My Dreams':

The imagery in the song is from what I would see when I would visit him at the nursing home.

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  • 5 months later...
  • 1 month later...

(updated/EDIT: sorry, I had to re-upload the video after I deleted the original, the correct link is below. BTW, I use a pseudonym on YouTube because of one of my other videos that is slightly controversial and a co-worker is in that video too incognito, but on this re-uploaded version of this video, my real name is in the copyright info at the beginning of the video. Well hey, many artists use a pseudonym, Lady Gaga, Kid Rock, Bruno Mars--those aren't their real names :-)

I just finished a music video of another song I wrote about my Dad. Yes, another one, maybe I write tooooooo many songs about him, but he was such a huge influence in my life, and now over 3 years since he passed away, I still think of him every day. I think this is one of my better songs about loss.

Anyway, I started writing this song about a month or so after my Dad died, but I put it aside and left it unfinished until recently, when I decided to finish it. But the passage of time has helped me move along with my life, although I still miss him after all this time, so I had to look at the feelings that I wrote down on a piece of paper soon after I lost him, just so I could finish this song.

To help with the loss of someone you love, you might try writing down your feelings in a diary. Writing songs was therapeutic for me, which was basically writing my feelings down on paper.

Anyway, here's the (updated/corrected) link to the music video on YouTube:

I hope in some way this video and my other videos help people in the greiving process....

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 months later...

if anyone is interested, I made a new Facebook page with the topic of music videos about Dads, where people who visit the page can post links to their favorite music videos. The link is below and the page is called "I Miss My Dad." I have a few videos on there--two of them are videos of songs I wrote, and two are videos from artists/singers I like.

Here's the link:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/I-Miss-My-Dad/213395425462521

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Hi Matt,

I just saw your last video on facebook and I'm so glad that you posted it here. I love the song and I know that it will help others who have lost a loved one. You inspire me. Thank you for continuing to write and play your songs. Anne

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  • 3 weeks later...

Matt, how special! Thank you or sharing this with us. I didn't see this before. I tend to not look in this section as often as I should because it's been over 30 years since I lost my dad, and my mom is still alive.

You are an inspiration and we thank you.

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  • 1 month later...

Hi Matt,

I just saw your last video on facebook and I'm so glad that you posted it here. I love the song and I know that it will help others who have lost a loved one. You inspire me. Thank you for continuing to write and play your songs. Anne

Matt, how special! Thank you or sharing this with us. I didn't see this before. I tend to not look in this section as often as I should because it's been over 30 years since I lost my dad, and my mom is still alive.

You are an inspiration and we thank you.

Geez....Thanks you two!!

It makes me feel good when someone can get something out of my music.

Just recently, on a video game forum I visit occasionally (actually it's a video game sales forum, yes sales!! LOL), I happened to post my video "You Never Told Me how To Say Goodbye" in the music section, and one member sent me a message and told me that my video brought out feelings about his Dad that he didn't know were still there, since he and his Dad had a falling out and hadn't talked to each other in 3 years. And now he was thinking about calling him (he said he still wasn't sure if he'd call but he's thinking about it now).

That really stunned me, I didn't even know something like that is even possible, that a music video could possibly get a father and son to reconcile, but when I told my sister about it, she said my Dad would be proud of me.

After the comment from that guy, I wonder if there are other father/sons out there that my video could possibly help too, in reconciliation.....

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Hi Matt,

There is no doubt in my mind that your music video will help many people. There is something magic about music. To me it does touch the soul and helps in the healing process of our grief or reconciliations. I agree with your sister that your Dad is proud of you. Keep writing music and singing so we can continue to enjoy your art. Anne

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Dear Matt,

Thank you for your music. Your songs touched my heart. My Dad and I were very close because he raised me alone most of my life. Not a day goes by that I don't miss him, even though he has been gone almost 30 years now. Your music is beautiful, and your words of reconciliation and healing helped open my heart to deep feelings of love and loss.

I truly appreciate your art, your heart, and your sharing. Thank you so much.

Blessings,

*<winkles>*

fae

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Matt, I love that story. We may not always know the impact we have on others through whatever it is we do in life, but how lovely it is when you receive a message such as this one!

For those who may be interested, there is a very nice article about the healing nature of music on this morning's Seven Ponds blog: What Is The Nature of Sound Healing?

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 3 months later...

Here's another song I wrote about my Dad, it's an older song that I don't know if it's as good as the others I've posted, but here it is. On a side note, I took one line from this song and put it in the song in post #9 ("I'll See You In My Dreams") because I thought it sounded better in that song, but I dont know....

Anyway, here's the song, it's a female singer I hired on this, Tammy Pierce-- "Where You'd Be Today":

http://www.broadjam.com/player/player.php?play_file=5366_602349

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  • 9 months later...

Well, after I said I wasn't going to write anymore songs about my Dad, I wrote another song about him and I just uploaded the song/video to YouTube. I thought I was done writing songs about him, but I guess I wasn't. I guess he was just such a huge influence on me, Well, here's the music video, the song is called "Beautiful to Me":

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Hi Matt,

Once again you have come through with your music. I liked the song you wrote and sang about your Dad. How wonderful to have such 'beautiful' memories of someone so very special. Keep writing and singing. Both of these choices help in your grief recovery.

Anne

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