Looking For The Positives

[MartyT]

Sorry, Mary ~ I just couldn't resist

[MartyT]

Anne, my dear, you are SUCH a treasure ~ and so are your posts. (And I love adding your attachments to my Pinterest boards)

[mfh]

I have been known, Marty, to dance in the rain... at my friend's farm many years ago...in my birthday suit....awesome experience. No one wants a mental picture of that.

Rain rain go away. We have had it.

Mary

[mfh]

I love all the green, Mary. The clematis is so purple - I love the color.

Mary (Quenniemary) - paint - it does get everywhere, doesn't it? I found a few thumbnails for you. Safe driving to Missouri. I so understand what you say when you mention that it would be good to have rain, Mary. I think the valley is going to be dryer than usual.

No call from the docs office yet. My positive this morning is that I woke up, drank coffee, walked with Benji, meditated briefly (see the post under the meditation thread) and I have a lunch bunch commitment with some of the girls.

Well, last night the wind and rain got the clematis...do not know if it will bounce back. So glad I enjoyed it while it lasted. (as with other aspects of life).

I love the wc of Bentley...I might have to try that.

Queen Mary....I am happy to send you not buckets of rain but semi trucks full....hundreds of them. I am sorry you are so dry down there. Where is Mother Nature's sense of balance? Oh, I forgot...we humans screwed it up.

Anne, I hope by now the MD called. I have been gone since 8:30...now 12:30. Someday I will learn, really learn, to enjoy those days, even four in a row, where I am alone because invariably they end. I am learning VERY slowly, extremely slowly that I shall not be forgotten. Today breakfast with new owner of Voice including brainstorming with her about a local situation; several errands for a friend who had a stroke included a stop at the assisted living; grocery store and cleaning up Bill's walker for her to borrow; call with friend at 2pm who wants to bounce some stuff around about her financial stuff (just a listening ear...I know zip about that)-we listen to each other; and tonight dinner here with a friend.

It never rains but what it pours...NO pun intended, Marty!!! So guess I will dance in the rain.

[kayc]

wc with Bentley?

Sorry about your Clematis, Mary. Harry, I need a serious pruner too, my apple trees are getting out of hand and I can't reach...don't do ladders anymore. Too bad everyone I know is old!

[HAP]

Dear friends,

I pruned the bushes in front of the house and trimmed out some flower beds yesterday. I'd hoped to get more done today but it has rained all morning. Instead I have been doing some writing for one of my blogs and doing the research foe a piece I need to write for Walking with Jane this week. I thought my groundhog was gone but either s/he has returned or another has moved in. This one was at least limiting itself to clover in the lawn.

The phone just rang and there is a country club in RI that wants to include Walking with Jane on its scorecard for the year. They claim we will get exposure to about 70,000 eyeballs over the course of the year--eyeballs in a social start with money to donate. They also say we will get invites to events that will let us talk to prospective donors. And we would be the only non-profit on the card. But they want $395 for the ad. I've heard of the club and they are upscale, so I am tempted. But just the fact someone else has heard of us makes me feel pretty good this morning.

Interesting business I seem to have gotten myself into.

Peace,

Harry

[kayc]

I've never heard of someone charging a charity to put a plug in for them! Hmmm...I know sometimes it takes $ to make $, but still...

[mfh]

Harry, I warned you that i was sending you a huge rain storm....glad you got some gardening done before it arrived And congrats on picking up a new group of supporters.

Mary

[mfh]

Well, I just "walked" Bentley before the next round of storms come in...skies are dark, wind is coming up. I put walked in " because we stood and talked to tourists more than walked. What I love about our annual art fair, among other things, is the people who come to town. Of course, Bentley becomes a vehicle to chats with them as they all stop to pet him and as he approached them somewhat...I am at the other end of the leash so he has his limits. I just talked to people from New Zealand, Minnesota, NC, Iowa, Milwaukee, and some from unknown places. The New Zealand couple were most interesting as they shared how NZers see the USA...in two words..."crazy, corporate". Sad. We talked for about 20+ minutes as Bentley was being petted by their 6 year old and as Bentley licked the feet of their 4 month old who slept through it all. Parents said it was ok when I started to stop Bentley...who never licks...I trained him not to as so many people abhor it. Today he could not resist those pudgy feet. When I meet tourists I automatically ask where they are from because one knows faces if not names of locals. Those of you in tourists' centers get that easily. The artists are arriving and in 5 hours Jefferson St, our main drag, will become a gallery of 200 + art tents. I just hope the rain does no damage. Anyway, it was a fun walk and included a stop at my friend's house...she helped me pick colors for my house and will help me pick out the frame I will use for the oil of Bill. I have postponed framing it until the walls were painted and we will go to Madtown together to a framing place. I want the frame to disappear... Lunch time...I am feeling better today....legs worked so far. Now i have to avoid overdoing it. AWGH!!!! BTW yesterday at MD, BP was a bit high (something over 75..maybe 135) but not bad enough for real drugs and pulse was 68...pretty good for an old lady. and all the bloat is gone...lost 6 pounds almost overnight...I was just a big drip..

[KATPILOT]

I was just thinking about the rain you have had so much of. It's nice that Bentley can go for a walk again. Today here it will be 119 and sunny. I think personally that when it gets this hot, your brain fries. I think it was in 1992 this month that we did 122 in Phoenix.

Not so bad now I guess! At least if the tires on my car haven't sunk into the asphalt I can go home after work.

Stephen

[mfh]

Stephen, Bill and I spent the summer of 2000 in Sun City borrowing a house of a friend while we awaited delivery of our RV...awgh! My sandals melted into the black top one day; the thermometer hanging in the little walled in patio melted..the dial just gave up and flipped; and we walked our then Golden, Buffy, at 5am and 11 pm. I will take the rain, humidity, ice and snow of Wisconsin...even the tornadoes

[KATPILOT]

Indeed!

One thing that really gets me is when I am driving down the road in this kind of heat and see people walking their dog. I have to go back and let them know what is happening. If they took off their shoes and walked with the dog, it might impress them.

Enjoy your day Mary. I am going to dig out a jigsaw puzzle and spend the weekend clearing my mind. kathy and I did that a lot on those hot summer weekends. This will be the first time on my own. I think I will put on our music and enjoy it.

[mfh]

And that is a negative about our art fair....the black top and dogs walking on it. I think I will carry some water and a plastic thing and offer it to the dogs...maybe the owners will get it...also mention how hot their feet are. Makes me angry when I see that...

Enjoy your puzzle and music and I know these weekends are tough...most of mine are challenging.

[MartyT]

Speaking of dogs, Steve, who is that adorable little princess you're now using for your avatar?

[enna]

Well, I have to jump in here and defend my beautiful Valley of the Sun. Just as we did many years ago while Jim and I were living in the Midwest when the temperatures were way below freezing, an inch of ice was on the windshield, snow was over the outside doors and windows, traffic was at a stand still, cicadas were so thick on and around the trees and their sounds deafened the ears, the rain brought ever so many bugs and mosquitoes out that you couldn’t even go out, most times one could not even get to the stores because of the snowplows working, winds and lightening storms caused the power to go out, humidity was as thick as lard and breathing was most difficult, and on and on… Yes, there were a few nice weeks.

We here know that when temperatures get this high we head for a movie theatre, do indoor activities like play chess or other board games, take to the lakes (yes, AZ does have water and there are so many lakes to enjoy), spend time visiting with family or friends, if we have to go out we always have something with us to grab the door handle of the car so we don’t burn ourselves, we always wear long sleeved light colored shirts and long pants/slacks. We know who the visitors are because they have short sleeve tops and shorts on!!

It is not fun to have to leave your car out under the sun. Many work places are now equipped with outdoor parking that have solar panels above the parking areas.

We have no mosquitoes. Mornings are cool and sunny before the late morning sun. Evenings are fine to sit out under the misters or splash in the pools.

I love this beautiful world of ours. We all could live in Death Valley where the temperatures yesterday were over 140 degrees.

My positive today is to spend some time in the pool and treat myself to a banana strawberry frosty. Later, I’ll have one or two pieces of chocolate. Maybe it's dark and maybe not!

[MartyT]

Good for you, Anne! Well said! I've lived all over the country at one time or another, and I think every place has its advantages and disadvantages. You've defended the Valley of the Sun quite admirably, and obviously you've learned how to live in the desert. (Isn't that why they invented air conditioning and those wonderful outdoor misting systems?) Besides, it's kinda hard to be in a bad mood when the sun shines all the time, don't you think?

[mfh]

Anne, I had to smile. I KNEW you would jump in and defend AZ And i do know you are right...every place has its pluses and minuses...I just prefer seasons...snow and cool mostly. I did learn to carry a pot holder with me so I could not only get into my car out there but touch the steering wheel. Sunny days do offer a lot and that is why I loved the mountains in CO...sun 300 days of the year...Wisconsin is gray, it seems, 300 days of the year lately. Not so sure I agree on the cool mornings...even at 5am...but I have only one summer to report on. Mary

[MartyT]

[enna]

Oh, my goodness. I just came back on to respond to Mary's post and I found yours Marty. I'm still belly laughing. Thank you for the laughter. That one's really a keeper!

Gray is ok, Mary. I couldn't live with it - the sun does make me smile and I most always am happy - but maybe that is just my disposition. We both seem to be in the right places - you like rain and gray and I like sunny days.

[mfh]

I like sunny days but gray does not bother me and right now, in this chapter of my life, I do like it. I knew you would laugh...

Just cleaned out the front closet which is a walk in...lots of Bill's outer wear in there and it still is in there but I got rid of some stuff and re-organized. Felt good. Going for fish fry tonight with a friend I have not seen since early May....going locally...fish fry is HUGE in Wisconsin. I am all but certain it started when Catholics could not eat fish on Fridays...not positive. But on a Friday in Wisconsin...it is fish everywhere. We will go to the pub or Shed..both have good fish. No rain as predicted YET.

Marty, I love the psych cartoon.... too real.

On to the next closet...notice how I carefully avoid dealing with Bill's clothes...work around them so far. But getting closer....whatever.

[mfh]

Went to four places before we could get fish...and you can get it broiled not just fried.

Clematis survived the rain so far.

Not supposed to rain until 1pm tomorrow...perfect if it works.

Mary

[mfh]

2am

the world is silent and lonely at 2am

even the stars hide beyond

thick clouds tonight...

at 2am

solitude is real...i sit alone

thinking of you and me and

all the dreams we had, the sacred

moments we shared,

tears fall and will not stop.

at 2am

i am the only person on

this planet...thoughts bombarding

and spinning until quietly

i prepare and then slowly I sip a

cup of hot tea, its leaves sitting silently

at the bottom having done their task...

at 2am

i am alone, so very alone,

a whippoorwill pierces the silence

with its interminable call-

persistent, determined, endless...

the whippoorwill longing on a

branch in a nearby tree...

and me, longing, in our empty home

at 2am

[enna]

The clematis are very pretty, Mary.

I really like your poem. I know what you mean by 'lonely' in the middle of the night. Sometimes we just are awake. This grief is not for the weak of heart! You are not alone in your tears, Mary. Like so many of us, I think that there could not possibly be any more tears left in our eyes. Morning will come and we, who are indeed so strong, will face yet another day without our beloveds. It is indeed terrifying as Carl Jung says in the quote, "The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely." Anne

[mfh]

Anne, I finally got to sleep at 3ish. I think I slept from 11-12 also...I feel hungover today...sleep deprivation. Glad it is rare when this happens.

I hope you got some sleep. I saw you up at 2am also. Leaving for art fair at 9:30 and the rain is supposed to hold off until noon. Cloudy which means cooler and that is good. I hope you get some naps today...

Regarding having tears left, in February my doc told me to start using artificial tears...as if the real ones are not enough. Or did I run out of the real ones?

Mary

[mfh]

So I spent 3 hours at the art fair with a friend...then to the tea house for tea and pie and then home....got Bentley, poop bags and off we went thinking it was not going to rain. Walked him right through the art fair where tons of people are now walking...and dogs- and it is cool enough for the dogs today...went to the park which is on the main street with the art fair to meet friends, one of whom is playing (local music). We chatted and Bentley got petted by a minimum of 50 people...ooo's and ahhhh's and then the skies opened up, the umbrella over our table started toppling in the wind and so now we are all soaked to the skin including Bentley...I take him around the corner under an awning with a couple hundred other people and we wait...and when it lets up a bit...he and I walk the 4 blocks or 5 back home. Now I have a dog that is soaked and I am soaked...and the sun is out again...go figure.

On days like this...it might as well be a holiday weekend. The energy and activity in the village is high...lots of traffic...and too many memories of many this art fair and the one in Madison and elsewhere... with Bill...most when he was so eager to see the wood working and photography as I looked at paintings and pottery and then the last one we went to together in 09...we walked about 5 blocks, my brother was visiting...Bill could not go further...we bought him a fancy cane at a wood worker's tent....and a brat and coke (his favorite) and rested. Jim went home for the car and picked us up as the 10 blocks back home was way too much for Bill. This is actually more difficult than a holiday weekend..

I have a choice now...I can go back and sit with friends but I am tired...5 hours of art fair and walking blocks quickly in the pouring rain.. the poem "2am" that I wrote and posted elsewhere now becomes "2pm" and I am feeling the same aloneness and sadness as the one I wrote in the middle of the night. And now....the clouds are moving in again. Time to surrender. So exhausting.