A Step On The Path

[mfh]

Well, I finally made one decision. When Bill and I got Bentley, our Golden Retriever, in Nov. 04 we both wanted him to eventually be a therapy dog to visit hospitals, Hospice, etc. Bill was diagnosed and starting to struggle and visit doctors and more just a few months later and we tabled the idea. Now 23 months (tomorrow) after Bill died, I am ready to pursue this. A friend is VP of the local Pet Partners (works with Delta) and I have signed up for the July human training (first opening) and will start working with Bentley tomorrow. After Bill died, Bentley regressed and I took him to 2 rounds of obedience classes which he passed with flying colors....now he needs to learn how to be out in public more as his life has been pretty limited and also get his Good Citizen Certification. People adore him. He is lovable and yet in crowds he gets timid/anxious...I guess he is an introvert like Bill and me...he prefers very small groups or one on one

So I am going to create a program of desensitization for him to get him used to crowds (like our local night where folks bring dogs, kids, etc.), going into strange buildings etc. Luckily most of my friends who own shops in town will let him into their stores and another friend is the recreation director of an assisted living down the street so when I am sure he won't lean to hard on someone he greets....we will visit these places. He is very close to that point. Watching him be bored has gotten to my heart....he needs a life. It is pretty quiet here and walks don't do it and I refuse to take him to the dog park....too many bad things happen in those places. So, this is a commitment for me...huge...it feels huge. Hopefully by July we will both have passed whatever tests we have to take. I know he will be so good for people who are sick, care giving or dying. He is just so so lovable. Golden Retrievers are often called the Velcro dog...and he certainly is...sticks to everyone. Picture attached (with Bill, his buddy). After Bill died, Bentley ate 2 sets of ear buds, $5 bill, papers of various kinds, and a razor blade and more. The latter was terrifying but x-rays, endoscopy, major surgery, a trusted vet and $2,000 later we all survived.

I am writing this primarily for me....to hold myself to this...for him, for me and in Bill's honor. He will be a healer to more than me. Time to act. It is only huge for me. I have no schedule....I live in the moment. I only have the Voice deadline and appointments that can be changed to hold myself to.

Mary

[Anne E]

Mary,

OD FOR YOU!!!!! I know this is a huge step. Just deciding to make a commitment to ANYTHING is a big step for us. I could not be prouder of you. Bentley looks like just exactly the dog I would want to come and comfort me in the hospital and cheer me up. I think you plan to start socializing him is a good one.

When I moved to Colorado from Kansas, my dogs, especially HRH Miss Sophie, were not used to being around people and were a bit timid. You sure can't tell that now. It's amazing how quickly they adapt. Now, if we have not been to the Dog Park for a few days, they start bugging me until we go. Bentley will thrive having some work to do.

Bill would be so very proud of you!!!

Now, we all will be waiting to hear progress reports.

Great Job!!!

Anne

[HAP]

Dear Mary,

This is great news. Congratulations. Kudos to you and bentley both.

Peace,

Jarry

[mfh]

Thanks, Anne. You are right...making commitments is a challenge...I have made one tentatively to my publication and to paying my bills and feeding the dog (and me) but nothing new...nothing at all that is new. This feels like a good place to start....activate a decision Bill and I made a long time ago. I hope Bentley can make the adaptation but if it feels like it is too much for him....that will be the end of it. We shall see. Thanks, Mary

[mfh]

Dear Mary,

This is great news. Congratulations. Kudos to you and bentley both.

Peace,

Jarry

Thanks, Harry.

[mfh]

and another kind of step also-

it's a circle my life.

i sit here watching the Oscars most stars of my adolescentyears long gone tributes are paid new faces i have never seen

but a memory creates a circle. i watched the Oscars when Iwas 14 and 46 and now at 72.

at 14 i sat alone-no one elsecared. at 46 i sat with the love ofmy life he cared because i did. tonight at close to 72 i sit alone again no one here to care... the circle closed.

there are many circles in life circles of life and death andlife circles of pain and joy andpain circles of alone and not aloneand alone

tonight alone, death and pain form a circle of their own

mfh2012

[MartyT]

Oh Mary, I love the idea of training your precious Bentley to become a therapy dog! I know that Goldens are especially suited to this kind of work, and I've no doubt that you two would make an outstanding pair! I'm reminded of the time when one of the members of my pet loss support group was mourning the death of one of his two Goldens. With our group's permission, he brought his remaining Golden to our next meeting and in the beginning, as we went around the circle introducing ourselves, that dog went around and placed his great, beautiful head in each person's lap for a brief moment, as if to convey his understanding of their deep sorrow and to offer his support. Then he returned to his master's side and stayed there for the remainder of our meeting. I will never forget that experience.

Do keep us posted on Bentley's progress ♥

You might be interested in these books; I've read them both and enjoyed them very much:

On Dogs and Dying: Inspirational Stories from Hospice Hounds

Hospice Tails: The Animal Companions Who Journey with Hospice Patients and Their Families

[kayc]

Mary,

Bentley is BEAUTIFUL! I've had two Golden Retrievers, they're so gentle and loving. I wish you the best in this venture, I'm sure he'll be up to the task!

[mfh]

Thanks for the support, all of you. This is going to take a while. That I know. My friend who owned the dog training school (she since sold it) said she sees an increasing number of Golden Retrievers who are anxious...they do too much inbreeding and wondered last year when she had him in her classes if Bentley would be suitable for a Therapy Dog without stressing him. I think if I do the work...I can make that happen and have a happier, calmer dog...I will have to teach him to meditate . I emailed this gal this morning so we can come up with a plan but I know that I will not push Bentley into something that creates more anxiety. He so adores people, cuddles with everyone he meets, and if I can get him to calm down going into buildings and being around new environments which is what stresses him...he will be a healing agent. I know that. So it is up to me to get a plan and if it takes a year to get there...that is fine. I will take the class for human partners this summer and create a desensitization plan for Mr. B and take it from there. He has spent 6 of his 8 years around stress, sickness, trauma and grief and I KNOW that has fed his anxiety. He deserves something more now.

Marty, thank you. I will read those books you recommended. I suspect your library is about the size of the Library of Congress.... I have a friend in Milwaukee who actually built an addition to their home complete with elevator for his library....his wife was not excited about it.

Peace

Mary

[widower]

Mary I'm a terrier kinda guy but that is great Retrievers are great dogs. Props!!

[Queeniemary]

Mary, beautiful picture, and beautiful plan for Bentley, will look forward to progress reports. Some of my favorite pictures of Mike are of him with one or more of our cats and dogs. He so loved his animals.

Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas