enna Posted January 17, 2013 Report Share Posted January 17, 2013 Benji is Home For those of you who have been waiting to hear when I’d arrive at my new mom’s house I’m finally here. My name is Benji. I am a very sweet Schipper-Poo or to be more formal I am a Schipperke/Poodle five years young. My mom rescued me because my previous owner could no longer care for me. I was only at SunnySlope Rescue Center for three days when mom was walking through the area I was in and I let her know right away – here I am, here I am. Schips are known as Belgian Sheep dogs and well you know poodles! I am so black that mom is having trouble taking clear pictures of me but here I am. I visited PetSmart with mom and I liked everything I saw. I even met new friends who seemed glad to see me. I will take good care of mom and I already know she loves me. I didn't get a chance to meet my dad but I'm sure I'd like him. Benji Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted January 17, 2013 Report Share Posted January 17, 2013 Benji looks beautiful. Bentley sent him a card a while ago with some advice about how to get treats and how to cheer you up. Anne, if you send me (via email) some pictures, I will see what I can do to use photoshop on them and see if we can get a look at Benji's face. I do not think it will work but worth a try. Black dogs are well...black.... and though beautiful they are hard to capture in a picture. I love the red collar. I am very glad for you and for Benji. He got lucky and you did also. He is part poodle...smartest dogs there are (except for Bentley, of course, who is equally smart ) I googled the breed mix and they are beautiful dogs. Glad he is your forever dog. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted January 17, 2013 Report Share Posted January 17, 2013 SO happy for both of you, Anne and Benji! Yay! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted January 17, 2013 Report Share Posted January 17, 2013 Anne, So sweet, and so glad for you! I like his name, it suits him! How did you survive the night? I haven't braved taking Arlie into PetSmart yet, but am considering it the next time we go to town together. It'd be fun to see him pick out a toy...like a kid in a candy store! Now you'll have someone to keep you company, that is great for both of you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted January 17, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 17, 2013 Thank you for sharing in my joy Mary, Marty, & Kay and others on FB. Yesterday I took a giant leap in my journey through grief by stepping outside of myself and deciding that I was going to go to a dog rescue center to see if someone would find me and ask me to take him/her home. After going to three different places I ended up at the place where I found Benji. Benji was not his given name. His given name was Gunner and I just did not like the name. Even though these Schippers are known for sailing on ships or boats and are often nicknamed little captain I just did not think my Benji looked like a Gunner. So that is the reason for the name change. I want to share this with you because I feel that it is important to let you know how much pain I was in while going to these places without my Jim. Silly as it may sound, as Pat (Jim’s daughter who accompanied me) and I sat in the van I turned around and announced to Benji that I would be calling him Benji from now on. I do believe that my Jim had a hand in that announcement. My heart was aching because he was not with me but sure as I start thinking in that way something happens and I know that he is with me only in a different way. The name Benji kept coming into my head! Another very important thing to me in my healing is how much empathy people on this site show. I really do believe that we ‘get it.’ My word is gratitude. I am finding myself grateful for so many things. I don’t want to be on this journey, I did not ask to be on this journey, but I am and I want to do it as best as I can. Acceptance is not and well never be easy but it is what we have to do in our own times. Benji and I have a Vet appointment and a scheduled grooming. I wonder what he will look like after three inches of hair is removed! He is only 18lbs. And I promise not to bore you with too much talk about my new family member. Anne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted January 17, 2013 Report Share Posted January 17, 2013 Anne, you are NOT boring us. I bet I can speak for all of us here that we look forward to your posts about Benji and about this chapter in your journey (and all others). I can't wait to see him groomed...I saw a couple pictures of one on Google images and they are so cute. Glad you are getting him checked out at the vet also. I am absolutely certain it was painful to do this without Jim. The closest I can come to it is when Bentley was taking his tests for therapy dog. I so wanted Bill to see how far he had come and watch him run through the 20 foot tube in class (something he would not do before). So I know Jim was IN the car with you and though we both know that is not enough...we want them back...I know he was there. You are smart to crate him or seat belt him in the car. I use a dog seat belt with Bentley. My friend (and dog trainer) volunteers with the police/fire department in Madison and is called when there is an accident and a dog is in the car. She said too many dogs are not crated or in seat belts and end up running down the highway. Her job is to deal with the dogs even if she has to find them. I am very happy for you....more pictures please. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted January 17, 2013 Report Share Posted January 17, 2013 Not boring at all, dear Anne ~ Your love for Benji is palpable, and heartwarming ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted January 17, 2013 Report Share Posted January 17, 2013 Oh Anne, you could NEVER bore us! And we love hearing about Benji! If anyone is not an animal lover, they can skip over the thread. And he looks like a Benji! When I got Arlie from the animal control, he had been given the name Arlington...not by his former owner, but by animal control workers. No way did he look as dignified as Arlington! So I shortened it to Arlie. (My son said I should have named him Goofy). I think it's important to give them a name that suits them. You'll have to send us another picture after he's groomed, he'll be proud of himself! And you know what? I think Jim was there with you when Benji selected you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted January 18, 2013 Report Share Posted January 18, 2013 Anne, where are the pictures of the newly groomed Benji???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted January 18, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 18, 2013 Mary, you're acting like his aunt and that is ok with me ! I can not get Benji groomed until the Vet makes sure he does not need any more shots. I see the Vet now on Monday at 11:00 AZ time. If he needs another booster then the Vet wants me to wait 48hrs to get him groomed. We already gave him a bath the day I brought him home so that will have to do for now. He is being such a good boy. He listens to commands and loves squeeky toys. Kay, I think I agree with you about Jim being present in a special way yesterday. Anne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted January 18, 2013 Report Share Posted January 18, 2013 It is an aunt's right to demand photos I am glad he is being checked out thoroughly and getting his shots. Bentley gets some shots on Monday and has to have what I believe is a cyst on his elbow checked out. I believe it will be good news but will feel better to know it is. Your pup sounds like he is in good health and I am glad for that. I won't bug you for pictures again until Thursday.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted January 18, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 18, 2013 Oh, I so hope that the cyst is a cyst on Bentley's elbow. Let us know. Anne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted January 18, 2013 Report Share Posted January 18, 2013 Thank you, Anne, I am not super worried but will be relieved to know we are ok. I frankly do not know how I would handle losing Bentley right now but all that is jumping the gun. I have been down this road with cysts, fatty tumors in our last Golden. It is strange though as he is the picture of health and youth and I rarely even think of the possibility of the inevitable happening to him. I sort of live with idea that he is here as long as I am....but I know different after losing my beloved Bill. That loss is causing me a lot of tears tonight...I think the wake and two hours of talking about Alzheimer's, caregiving, death and grief today was over the top especially as I am not fully back. Tough night. Love Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted January 18, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 18, 2013 I understand what you are saying, Mary. Funny how we really do not look at death in the same way when a spouse dies. I found the grieving/mourning process much different when I lost family or close friends than I do now that Jim is dead. I know we keep saying that tears are good for us but they stink. I am sorry that you are having that tough tonight. You know you are going to have many more of them. I agree with you when you say that the wake and talking about ALZ caregiving may be a bit much for you especially when you are only now recovering from pneumonia and flu. Be gentle with yourself this coming weekend. Benji sends his love and a few kisses. He is a very affectionate dog. He is trying so hard to please me. It's like I have a shadow all around me. I move, he moves. His eyes are killing me - I find myself melting every other hour. I have had more squeaky toys in my lap or at my feet that I am worn out. I am not complaining. Watch something funny tonight. Take care of you - that is what you are always saying to us. Anne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wifflesnook Posted January 18, 2013 Report Share Posted January 18, 2013 Totally agree that Gunner is not the right name Anne. I wouldn't change a name unless it felt wrong and that one does. Yes black dogs are so difficult to photograph and even Pete found it difficult. I so know how hard it is to go places without your loved one. There are many places I don't need to go that I just can't go, and others that I have to go that I have to force myself to go. When we have been so blessed as to have a constant loving companion it's so hard. But you will be so so glad to have a little doggy alongside you. My Kelbi, though sometimes still a most challenging dog, is such a blessing to me. We are promised snow later. I am hoping to go to the showing of a film (which I am in) in Spurn lighthouse tonight. This involves travelling down a narrow unlit sandy peninsula with the sea on one side and the river Humber on the other. I chickened out of taking my car down so myself and three others are being taken down there by (I hope) four wheeled drive. Wish us luck. Pete would have loved it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted January 18, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 18, 2013 We do so understand about places we cannot go don't we? It's like music we can't listen to or movies we cannot watch. I hope you had a good time at the Spurn lighthouse. How was the film? It sounds so beautiful to be surronded by the sea and Humber rivers. I find it very peaceful to be near water. Is Kelbi good on walks for you or don't you have to have him on a leash? Benji is such a little gentleman. He walks right beside me and is still alittle skidish so he presses his little eighteen pounds of flesh right next to my leg like he's saying 'protect me' 'protect me.' Take care of yourself and I'm glad that you are back home. Anne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted January 18, 2013 Report Share Posted January 18, 2013 Thank you, Anne. I pulled out of it. I find these periods have an increasingly shorter life....they hit usually by surprise, I feel the pain, cry, and then I do something even dishes and they tend to leave me. The grief I carry, however, is always there...it is just part of me now...and yes I agree, this loss is totally different than losing my parents, my closest girlfriends, etc. I am so glad your pup is such a gentleman. I use a gentle leader for Bentley because about 4 years ago I took him to my friend's llama farm. He waited in the car while Edie and I checked out the one hour old llama. Then I got him out to walk him over to their pen and he suddenly lurched forward and tore towards the llamas. I guess smelling them while he was in the car was more than he could tolerate. By the time I figured out I had to let go of the leash...I was down and he had smelled the llamas and was back to me...standing watch until I got up. I KNOW that will never happen again (never say never) as I have really worked with him since Bill died but he is so used to it that Pet Partners suggested I just use it....rather than train him off of it. He does walk like a gentleman right beside me now and the gentle leader is more appealing to me than a collar...sort of like a horse halter and he does not mind it at all....took some work as his manners were pretty much ignored as I took care of Bill for many years and he is a big 75 pound dog...stronger than I will ever be. And he is just a lovable baby who craves being petted and hugged. I am happy you have a dog....all 18 pounds of him. I think probably my next dog might have to be smaller but I am hooked on Goldens.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted January 18, 2013 Report Share Posted January 18, 2013 I wish I'd seen this post last night instead of this morning, Mary. I'm sorry you were having a tough night. I guess it's to be expected for all that happened yesterday. You are wise to know exactly what you are ready for or not. Anne, Ahh, we have to wait a few more days to see the new revised Benji! I didn't realize they had to wait for grooming after shots. I remember bathing Arlie after I got him but can't remember if it was before or after the vet (I took him to the vet the next morning). I am being bugged for a walk...I'm late, I've been enjoying my day off by lounging around and fixing a great breakfast, ha ha! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wifflesnook Posted January 18, 2013 Report Share Posted January 18, 2013 The film was good. Even though he has only known Spurn for ess than a year he made a very sensitive film. He is an artist and it shows. It was very atmospheric, in a disused lighthouse at the end of a peninsula on a snowy night. Candle-lit. Our film was used and there was my Pete emptying a moth trap and on his beloved motor bike. It was ok because I think my worst nightmare is that people forget him and tre he was. He would have been pleased. Sandra came in for a glass of wine afterwards so I shouldn't be on my own. Anne, Kelbi is good on the lead. She doesn't pull any more. Benji is bigger that I thought. Difficult to tell in a photo. He looks adorable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted January 19, 2013 Report Share Posted January 19, 2013 Jan, I am so glad you went to that and seeing Pete on the screen...I can relate. One of my sadnesses is that so few people around me ever knew the Bill I so loved when he was at his best. We came off the road (RV) and moved to this village not too long before he began to go down hill. We had lived about 40 minutes east of here before but we knew not a soul here in 2003. By the time we had a circle of friends, Bill was symptomatic. Cathy is one of a few friends who knew him. Kay, thank you. I seem to pull out of those dark times more quickly than I use to for which I am grateful. The waves come in gently or crashing over my head but I have finally learned that I won't drown. Thank you. Anne, yes..there are many places I just can not go. One is Door County WI where Bill and I went every year. I love it there and am invited to attend a week long art workshop next summer but I have lots of thinking to do about that...both financially but mostly there is not a road on that peninsula that we have not biked or hiked or driven. It is loaded with good time memories and some sad ones as it was the last trip we took and the pictures I took of Bill reflect his onset of Alzheimer's in his once alert bright eyes. Love Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted January 19, 2013 Report Share Posted January 19, 2013 Mary, I know what you mean...my mom has an "empty headed" look about her now, it's kind of like it's vacant. It's so strange, but it's almost as if she's trying to operate with half a brain...not the right half or the left half, but as if someone pulled out bits and pieces all over her brain randomly. I swear this disease is the worst thing ever to experience. Other diseases carry more physical pain, but this one rips away who they are, bit by bit. How can you be who you are without your memories and mind? It's a question I cannot answer. I experienced this with a dear friend of mine, Virginia, years ago. It was very hard to watch. In her case, she was still her...she didn't remember who we were exactly, but she still had her same sweet spirit. I've heard that is not always the case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted January 20, 2013 Report Share Posted January 20, 2013 Oh, Kay, I do know that look...it is all in the eyes. It felt like a light when out. Bill always had very intense, lively but soft blue eyes. His feelings were very visible in them as was his brilliant and quick mind. As he progressed through AD the light got dimmer and dimmer and I can see it as I type this. I am so sorry you have to walk this path and watch your mom go through this. I do understand, believe me. My eyes fill up as I type this...remembering what it was like. Love Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted January 22, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 22, 2013 It only took a few days for Benji to settle down so I could capture a picture of him before he gets groomed on Thursday!! I had to bribe him with a cookie treat. He just cracks me up when I look at him. His personality is just what you see. Anne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted January 22, 2013 Report Share Posted January 22, 2013 Oh Anne, he is smiling! How cute is that? No wonder he makes you so happy ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted January 22, 2013 Report Share Posted January 22, 2013 Anne, I am laughing out loud...he cracks me up also. Lively for sure. I can't wait to see him groomed....He is a wild man as is Send post-grooming pictures.... Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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