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Just listened to this webinar and saw it too late to post here but I did take notes:

Supporting Families Through Hospice - Family Caregiver Support Series, Sponsored by Home Instead ~ Molly Carpenter

Explaining the difference between Hospice and Palliative Care:

Hospice Care – provides end-of-life compassionate care and involves the individual who may be receiving medical care not related to curing their terminal illness, pain management, and emotional and spiritual support and support for the family

Palliative Care – involves comfort care – improve symptoms, supports the family, improve quality of life, no longer receiving curative treatment for the terminal illness but does include treatment for secondary health issues

When in Hospice, Medicare does not cover anything to cure your terminal illness but does cover services not related to the terminal illness (broken bones, pneumonia, etc.)

This is tricky and needs to be discussed with the Hospice Team.

Medical conditions for palliative care support include – end stage lung disease, end stage heart failure, stroke, coma, advanced liver disease, end-stage kidney failure, dementia, Parkinson, ALS – there may be more

Hospice Support Staff – family caregiver, physician, volunteer staff, nurse, social worker (connectors), chaplain, speech and physical therapy (if needed), counseling services, home health care – entire team supports family

Role of a home health care professional (a paid job) includes help with personal care – housekeeping, errands, meals, respite for the family

I hired a home health care professional for three hours a day three times a week for Jim during those last weeks so I could spend quality time with him as his wife

Physical changes you may see – pain, loss of appetite, shortness of breath, body and skin problems, weakness, need help with activities

Diet and Nutrition – offer small meals, their favorite foods, comfort food, beverages between meals, comfortable environment, do not force eating – allow them to eat what they want – this is hard for families to understand – it’s OK if they don’t eat

Keep the person upright to prevent chocking during and after eating

Mouth Care – rinsing frequently, shaved ice, frozen juice, liquids between meals

Ask the Team for other ideas

Pain Awareness – look for signs – call your Hospice Team nurse or doctor – rate pain on intensity level (0 to 10 – ten being the most severe) – take their pain seriously – type of pain (dull or throbbing, where is it, is it deep)

Other alternatives to use while waiting for medication: heat or cold therapy, music, or massages

Emotional Toll – wide range of emotions (anger, fear, joy, etc.), each person is unique, has their own personality, life experiences, and faith – allow them to express feelings

How to address their questions: am I dying (I don’t know, but I’m here for you, what do you think), why me (I don’t know, I’m sorry, I am here), I’m not ready (how frightening this must be to you, I am here for you), crying (would it be ok if I sit with you)

How to deal with relatives: (we are a team – let’s talk, we’re all in this together)

How to support emotional needs: be honest, be non-judgmental (listen with an open mind, don’t argue with them) allow silence (people feel a need to talk but the dying person may be thinking of something else, respect a person’s space (some people prefer to be alone)

Stages of Grief when dying – denial, anger, bargaining, depression acceptance

Stages occur in any order and may not experience all of them – change from day to day – part of the process – These ideas come from Elizabeth Kubler Ross speaking of end of life stages only

Respond to their Grief – I’m sorry, I’m sad, How are you doing with all of this, I don’t know why it happened, What can I do for you, I’m here for you, I want to listen

Spiritually – help people deal with the unknown elements of life and gives purpose – whatever brings a person joy can be a spiritual experience (sit on the patio, listen to music, hear the sounds outdoors, etc.

Religion – used to describe an organized collection of beliefs

Faith – confidence or trust in a person, thing, or divine being

Spiritual Experience – what did my life mean, where will I go when I die, will my family be okay, any unfinished business I need to complete?

Suggest putting together a Life Review activity

Relationship Completions – I love you, thank you, forgive me, I forgive you, goodbye (letter or card)

Final Hours – changes in breathing, continence, body, consciousness, eyes become glassy, skin changes, there may be a surge of energy

Family Caregiver Self Care

  • Wide range of emotions
  • Accept feelings, positive and negative
  • Avoid judging yourself
  • Don’t bury emotions
  • Join a support group
  • Cry

Resources: HOV.org, hospice foundation.org, nhpco.org

Books, video stories, etc.

Two books recommended: Final Journeys by Maggie Callanan and Final Gifts by Callanan and Patricia Kelley

MOVE toward hospice sooner – the dying person’s quality of life improves

A hospice person may go out with family or friends, they are allowed physical therapy, they may have other health problems taken care of: broken bones, pneumonia, etc. that would be covered by other insurance.

This brought back many memories while I cared for Jim. The best thing I did was call Hospice of the Valley. No way to ever repay them.

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Blessings to you, dear Anne, and thank you. Your notes are excellent, and much appreciated! (And I should add that your being here with us, with all you do for the rest of us, IS payment enough to HOV, because you ARE "paying it forward" ~ in more ways than you can possibly imagine!)

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This was offered TODAY.

If you missed it, you can listen to a replay via this link: http://InstantTeleseminar.com/?eventid=55960347

Thursday July 10, 2014 - 10 am Pacific/1 pm Eastern

Sign up here to receive call-in information for this interview.

Join Dr. Wyatt and her guest Suzanne O'Brien, hospice nurse, to discuss Suzanne's work in helping families plan for end-of-life care and death with clarity and dignity. Suzanne has created Positive Passings, a community based organization dedicated to providing education and support to families as they make plans for end-of-life care. She also provides the End of Life Doula Program to train community volunteers to be a resource at the end-of-life.

In this interview you will learn:

  • how we can help alleviate the future family caregiver shortage that has been predicted for the US
  • what can be learned from a hospice program in the developing nation of Zimbabwe?
  • what do non-medical caregivers most need to know in order to provide care for their loved ones at home?
Suzanne B. O'Brien is an end of life educator, consultatn and author of Life, Love and Transition: Guidance for the End of Life (2012)--a guide to achieving a dignified, meaningful death through the hospice experience. Suzanne resides in New York's Hudson Valley, where she has been a registered nurse and hospice nurse for over 15 years.
Suzanne uses her medical training and natural gift of empathy to help her patients and families make the transition from life to death through the final months, week, or days, making sure their physical, emotional and spiritual needs are being met.
The lessons Suzanne has learned at he bedsides of dying patients have taught her that our duty to the dying is to care for them holistically at the end of life. They must fel comfortable, pain-free, and dignified. Having an honest conversation about death with the dying person and their family is integral to her phiosophy.
Suzanne's training in spirituall, alternative and medical healing led her to her curent role as hospice nurse and advocate. In addition to her training as a registered nurse, acute oncology nurse and hospice nurse she has received:
  • Degree in Transpersonal Counseling and Spiritual Ministry at the Association for the Integrations of the Whole Person in Los Alamitos, CA
  • Certification as a Reiki Practitiioner: Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY

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Just finished listening to this wonderful conversation between Dr. Karen Wyatt and Suzanne O’Brien, RN on end-of-life care. I liked the topic Positive Passing and found many of the points to be spot on when it comes to caring for loved ones at end-of-life at home. The idea of being a doula appeals to me ~ the more knowledge we have comes less fear.

When we do come to end-of-life what we want is to be cared for holistically and hospice has certainly paved the way. I could see myself sitting with someone especially knowing that the Hospice Team is only a phone call away.

A few thoughts that stuck with me during the talk:

“You can’t always treat pain as a narcotic.”

“20% of baby boomers have not had children and family caregivers may not be available.”

Learning about end-of-life is empowering so I can learn for myself and be less fearful.

I remember how special it was for me to be with Jim during his last days ~ I felt honored to be able to be with him. One of the things our Hospice nurse always said was that it was an honor to be with the family during this time. That stuck with me. I could see myself taking the training to become an End-of-Life Doula. :blush: Who knows!

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This just in from our friend, bereaved mom and author Kelly Buckley:

Hello my friends, I am so pleased to invite you to a special online event starting on August 1st. The Art of Happiness After Loss Summit is a FREE event hosted by Lois McCullough, and features over 20 experts who talk about about moving forward after a loss.

Loss is a part of life. As part of my mailing list, you know we have been talking about finding joy in less than perfect circumstances for some time now. This summit is the perfect chance for us all to hear from other experts who have journeyed through loss and found joy on the other side.

I encourage you to click on the link below to learn more about the event, and register to take part. It doesn't cost a dime, and promises to be an offer inspiration, tips for everyday living and most importantly, HOPE.

Thanks for continuing to walk with me, and keep looking for those one little things.

Much love,



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I would hope you, Marty, are one of those 20 experts. If not, this gal missed the boat.

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Thank you for the vote of confidence, dear Mary, but I am not involved in this offering ~ I just wanted to pass it along to our members and readers. (I do know Kelly through her blog and her books, and she is wonderful ~ so I am confident this will be well done.)

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What I like about it is there is no specific time one must watch it...just a 72 hour window. Curious to see who the experts are. :)

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https://www.facebook.com/events/469999846437094/%C2'> Global Peace Meditation. The picture reminded me of our healing circle (tribe). This is a free meditation, join in with others as we focus on a much needed global peace.


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These brief audios will only be available for a short time so I am hoping some of you will catch it before it disappears. This entire series has some good offerings and it is free.



Marty posted this a while back and I am re-posting as it is worth checking out. http://www.wowfornow.com/the-art-of-happiness-after-loss-summit/

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Talking to Kids about Death and Dying: An Introduction to Children’s Grief

Thursday, September 25, 2014 | 2:00 p.m. Eastern | 11:00 p.m. Pacific

Registration Information

NAGC Members Register HERE.
Non-Member Registration, FREE!!! REGISTER HERE, or become a member HERE to receive member discounts on NAGC Online Learning.

Presentation Description

The difficulty many adults experience when talking to kids about death has a lot to do with the difficulty they experience when talking about death with peers. Death and grief may be a hard topic for some, but those challenges have a lot to do with culture, context, and a vernacular that favors euphemisms. Similarly, the expectations we put on children and the assumptions we make about their feelings will impact an adult’s effectiveness. Working towards being a helpful support system in a child’s life requires an understanding of their grief experience along with a shift in adult expectations. Understanding how we’ve arrived at a moment in time when grief is becoming increasingly pathologized is crucial to being in dialogue with children, as it helps us adults understand our own assumptions and inherited ideas about grief, children, and “helping.” A historical context will lead to tangible ways to reframe how we think about dying and grief and their implication on our living. Lastly, we’ll explore the impact of listening and supporting children from a place of understanding.

About the Presenter:

Joe Primo is the Chief Executive Officer of Good Grief in Morristown and Princeton, New Jersey. He is the architect of Good Grief’s programs, which serve hundreds of children and families each year after the death of a mom, dad, brother or sister. Primo also serves as the President of the National Alliance for Grieving Children, which is a national nonprofit that advocates for children and provides education and resources to professionals and communities that support grieving children.

Primo formerly worked as a hospice Chaplain at both The Connecticut Hospice and The Hospice of Southeastern Connecticut. He received his Masters of Divinity from Yale Divinity School, where concentrated in end-of-life care. Primo is the author of What Do We Tell the Children?: Talking to Kids About Death and Dying, Abingdon, 2013. He is also the author of “The Business of Grief,” which appears in At the End of Life: True Stories About How We Die by CNF Press. A regular blogger for the New Jersey Star-Ledger, Primo has appeared in or on the Chicago Tribune, The Times of London, NPR, CNN, Progressive Radio News, ABC, and Fox.


Obj. 1: Understand the historic context of grief in America

Obj. 2: Understand the needs of grieving children

Obj. 3: Reframe adult expectations for a child’s perspective

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This just in from Karen Wyatt, MD:

If you're not already registered for End-of-Life University, you can sign up here. It's FREE and you will receive notification each time a new interview is scheduled. Register now!

End-of-Life University Seminar Series:

Save the date for Thursday September 11th so you won't miss this touching and educational interview with a psychologist who works with Alzheimer's patients and their caregivers!


This Thursday I will be interviewing Dr. Judith London, a psychologist who has devoted over 20 years of her career to working with Alzheimer's and dementia patients and their caregivers.

In this interview, Dr. London and I will discuss her insights into the challenges faced by caregivers and share stories from the 2 books she has written.

You will learn:

  • why Dr. London was inspired to work with and write about Alzheimer's patients
  • what are the major challenges faced by caregivers for Alzheimer's patients
  • tips for caregivers in relating to their loved ones with Alzheimer's
  • how hospice and palliative care workers can be more supportive of family caregivers

Learn more about the interview at this link.

Here's how to attend:

Date: Thursday, September 11th
Time: 10 am Pacific/1 pm Eastern

Dial in #: (425) 440-5100
PIN code: 882570#

Attend by Web:

Don't worry you will receive all of this information again on Thursday morning - I just wanted you to be able to plan ahead for this interesting interview!

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Thanks, Marty. I am registered and a paid member so hope to listen to all the ones I have missed this year. TMI on this web. :)

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Please join MITCH CARMODY for another edition of GRIEF CHAT Tuesday, September 9 at 11:00 am CST on KDWA Radio AM 1460 Hastings MN. Listen on-line from any location on their website. http://kdwa.com/listen/ Call in live at 651-437-1460.

At the top of the show we will be chatting with my long time friend and "heartlight" colleague CARLA BLOWEY calling in from Colorado, she is the author of the new expanded edition of Dreaming Kevin: The Path to Healing. Carla will be highlighting ways one can use the power of our dreams to aid in healing from the loss of a loved one. She is by far the most outstanding authority on dream recall analysis in the field of oneirology and grief that I have met.

Later in the show we will talk with my friend and colleague Bob Resciniti, calling in from Florida. He is the founder of the Bobby Resciniti Healing Hearts Foundation and will chat with us about his foundation and the annual events which he hosts that is helping to heal broken hearts across America.

. Link

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HOSPICE FOUNDATION OF AMERICA ~ Register now for Grief: What Helps When it hurts?


HFA is proud to offer you - at no charge - Grief: What Helps When It Hurts? This one-hour online program will explore the ways that grief from significant loss,whether by death or separation, can affect us physically, emotionally, and spiritually, and will offer suggestions of ways to help cope with this inevitable though painful part of both love and life. Through the use of slide presentations and video interviews, our presenters will explain how grieving affects not only the way that we feel but also the ways that we think and behave. Information will be conveyed in a way that is helpful for the non-clinician; 1 CE credit will be offered by various professional boards.

Beginning at Noon ET, November 1, 2014, your staff and your community can learn:

  • the varied ways we may experience grief
  • what makes the experience of grief very individual
  • ways to explore and utilize our own strengths and resources as we cope with loss
  • how to assist others who are grieving
  • identify signs that suggest professional assistance may be helpful and how to access that help

This program is offered at no charge.*

*CE credit is optional and is available for a modest charge.

For more information and to register for Grief: What Helps When It Hurts? click here.

For information on other HFA programs, click here.

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This link takes you to some excerpts from talks that Cheryl Eckl has given. Cheryl's husband died not too long before Bill died. After reading her book and seeing so many similarities (including her dog's name-Bentley) she and I connected over a long lunch when I went to Colorado (where she lived at the time) to visit a dear friend there. Cheryl has three books, the first, A Beautiful Death, tells the story of her loss. I think you might find these talks helpful when you who are further along in time on this journey and thinking about life ahead of you.

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This is a link to a new series on trauma hosted by the National Institute for the Clinical Application for Behavioral Medicine with Ruth Buczynski as the moderator. These series are outstanding. They are free to watch on the day presented or you can pay for them and have them to watch anytime along with additional materials and even CEUs for those who want credit for them. It starts on October 15 and runs each Wednesday at 5 and at 6:30pm EST.

The latest breakthroughs on trauma will be presented along with much more information.

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Reminder that the FREE series on trauma and the latest research on it starts Wednesday. See previous post.

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SEE SPEAKERS: http://www.eoluniversity.com/de-event

Dr Karen Wyatt is offering FREE access to her entire archives of talks for a 4 day period. This is an incredible way to educate yourself about grief. The tracks are:

To make it easier for you to find the interviews you want to hear, we've organized them into 6 different tracks - you can choose the topic that interests you most or "mix and match" them as you custom design your own learning experience! NOVEMBER 13-16

1. End-of-Life Planning

2. Caring for the Dying

3. Funeral and Burial Options

4. Grief and Caregiver Support

5. Afterlife Explorations

6. Death in Film and Theatre

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A must see...Oprah's Super Soul Sunday at 2pm EST TODAY. This woman, Madonna Badger, lost 3 children and her parents in a house fire on Christmas day. It is a powerful interview. I wept through the show. Many good messages on how to handle our grief and loss. Watch on OWN TV on cable or at this link. http://www.oprah.com/app/own-tv.html on line.

Here is this woman's TEDx talk: http://tedxtalks.ted.com/video/Resilience-Consider-the-Uses--3;search%3Amadonna%20badger

Warning: Do not allow her loss to minimize your own. Every loss is different and unique to each person. Just absorb what she learned about grief. I truly relate to the nerve being severed and without skins. It is just how huge losses feel.

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Thank you for this link. The show is on commercial break right now and it is so incredibly powerful. She talks about the doctor in AK (yes, QMary) who finally after all people and doctors told her she was crazy....this MD finally said she is sad, very sad. There are dozens of tiny messages in this video. I wish I could keep a copy but Oprah does not You Tube these shows very soon.

I will watch the TEDx later.

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WOW! What a talk to listen to. Thank you, Mary, for the TED link ~ I watched, cried as I listened and found it to be a very touching story.

I really liked the question/answer approach she used.

This talk is filled with many gems ~ grief is like this. We are NOT crazy, we are SAD.

Of course I've bookmarked it for it is worth hearing over again..

The other links I'll come back to but this TED talk is priceless.

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