katdoo Posted March 1, 2015 Report Share Posted March 1, 2015 So you can have the background, my mom went into Hospice in February. I took FMLA to be with her until she died February 17, 2015. I'm told I will look back and be happy with that choice. My siblings couldn't do it. She died in peace, with dignity and so pragmatic about her dying. I know she wouldn't want me to be grieving as much as I am. This was a woman whom I never saw cry. I wept at the in-hospice. I wept (I live out of state) the drive home (5 hours!). I wept the drive back to be with her at the end. I wept for my dad who lost his beloved wife of 58 years. I wept at the funeral. I wept the drive back to NY. My siblings all are married and with children. At the funeral they all were able to turn to each other for hugs and embrace for their suffering and I felt so alone. I resent that they have that support. I have dear friends who call and check and tomorrow I go back to work. Good support at my job but I feel so anxious about returning to work? I want to know that I am not falling into an abyss? I wake up every morning and for a brief second I am happy then I remember my mother is gone, my dad is all alone and my heart just drops. I feel weak and have no appetite. Can anyone relate to this? Because I really do feel I'm the only one feeling this way. My siblings whom I am very close with are going on with their lives - my sister just spent the weekend snowmobiling with her husband and two boys. My brother is on a weeks vacation with his wife. Why is this affecting me so intensely and not them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!Register a new account
Already have an account? Sign in here.Sign In Now