Kakalina Posted March 31, 2015 Report Share Posted March 31, 2015 It was 49 days ago today that my beloved husband of 36 years passed away. It still seems like a bad dream. I stare at his picture and just cry and cry. He was knew he was dying and he didn't tell me. He knew how sick he was and wanted to "spare" me so he waited until it was way too late to do anything. I took him to the ER on Jan. 16th because he couldn't breathe. On Feb. 10th he died at home under hospice care of lung cancer linked to Agent Orange. He was a 100% disabled Viet Nam veteran. He had just turned 66. We've been retired and together 24/7 since 2000. I just don't know how to be alone. We did everything together ( except he didn't go to the gym with me ). We traveled extensively and loved taking long cruises to exotic places. That's all over now. He did not believe in life insurance. I won't starve but our wonderful life style is gone. That special joy we had in discovering new places is gone. I don't know how anyone stands the quiet. It is so darn quiet in the house now. I know I am rambling but I just don't know how to begin to imagine life without my love. How do you get through it? I have no family and no close friends left nearby. I feel terribly alone and, well, I guess most of you know how I feel one way or another. How long did it take before you joined a bereavement group or something like it? Thanks for listening and thanks for being here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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