"gripping"

[kayc]

In my Prism lesson, I thought much of what they said applied not only to a weight loss journey, but to the grief journey as well...the principles are the same.

I'll type what was applicable here:

To grip: "To take firm control. To grasp, understand, and implement fully."

You are growing in your understanding of what it really means to "get a grip" on right attitudes in your life. The word "gripping" may create a picture of barely holding on with white knuckles - sweat pouring down your face. However, the definition suggests a firm, staunch approach to the situation. Taking firm control is often a quiet, confident action. You do not have to breathlessly grasp at a right attitude today.

Carefully guard the attitudes you choose to grip each day. When you sense a negative attitude, do not justify it. The energy you are expending to support that negative attitude could be better used to strengthen a positive attitude. To grip takes energy. Right actions require energy. You can only support a negative attitude and continue right actions for a short time. Eventually, one will "slip". Unfortunately it is usually the right action which loses this battle.

Instead of continuing without a grip on a right attitude, stop and make an adjustment. First, admit your negative attitude and be willing to loosen your grip on it. Breaking through denial can often be the catalyst for transforming the negative to the positive.

Remember, an attitude is NOT a feeling. Attitudes are a position, a mind set. An attitude is either right or wrong. Feelings cannot be judged. Feelings do not have to affect your actions. You may not "feel" like doing anything, but your attitude of determination can still support right actions. You cannot judge how a person is feeling through their actions, but you can conclude something about their attitude. Looking at your actions can help you discover where you need an attitude adjustment. Be easy on your feelings, but be firm with your attitudes!

Feelings change, do not let them be your guide. Your feelings have value, but they will not always support right actions.

When you "feel" negative, just keep on "gripping" your right attitudes of determination, acceptance, and truth!

[MartyT]

Outstanding, Kay ~ thank you!

[kayc]

Today's lesson says "You may not have created your circumstances, but you choose how to respond to them."

[MartyT]

Yes, Kay. One of the best pieces of advice I ever received was when we were struggling with whether to move from our small hometown in the midwest to the hustle and bustle of New Jersey and New York on the east coast. At the time, a very wise man said to us, "There is no right or wrong decision here ~ because no matter what you decide, you can and will do your very best to make it be the right decision for you and your family." Once he said that, we knew we would do everything in our power to make it work for us, and we did. As you observed in your Prism lesson, what mattered was our attitude about the decision we had made. ♥

[kayc]

I think about all of those here who are in circumstances they did not choose...loss of someone who mattered most to them, health issues, and so much more...we don't always get to choose our circumstances, only our attitude regarding it. It's like we're all dealt a hand and we have to play it the best we can, even if we get rotten cards.

[enna]

Kay, I really like your post on "gripping." I have tried to be a positive person throughout my life and do believe that attitude is important.

We have heard over and over again that feelings are just feelings and I believe that we can let them go and it is our attitude that gets us through tough times. I could be a very sour apple with all I have endured over the years, but I decided that it is better for me to accept what is and be ok with it.

I have not heard about the Prism lessons you mentioned, but I like what you posted.

[Wifflesnook]

I like it too, Kay, and thanks for posting it

[feralfae]

Kay, that is a wonderful message! Some days I find myself lost in my emotional states for a while, until I can "get a grip" and realize that this emotional state is a temporary thing, and that what matters is what I do in the meanwhile.

Such a good reminder for me for those times when I feel myself flipping into worry or "poor me" mode: to remember that I am the one who can determine what I do, how I perceive things, and that I can shift my emotional states once I accept them for what they are at the moment.

Thank you!

*<twinkles>*

fae

[kayc]

Emotions have a way of "gripping us" sometimes and we have to remind ourselves of some of the things we already know...it helps to have those tools inside of us, ready to employ when we have need of them.

Anne, I know you do this, and so do you, fae and Jan...it is one of the important things we've learned through the hard places in our lives. We have opportunity to role model this to some of those whose lives have been turned upside down overnight and can't see their way out...we've been there, we've experienced the overwhelming emotions that have felt paralyzing, but we've learned how to find our way through the maze of grief. It's not easy, but we're doing it. Anyone who thinks this is "over" at some point doesn't understand grief. It's ever evolving! It does get better, but that doesn't mean we ever reach the point where we stop missing them or don't experience the pain of it, but for the most part, we do learn to live with it and coexist with our grief, intact.