What I've Learned From Allowing Myself To Not To Be Okay

[glcasa]

On Friday, it will be 8 weeks since my best friend, Nick, passed away. He died suddenly, and we may never know the cause (which is one of the BIGGEST things I feel will never let me get past this). But I almost don't want to get passed it - I feel guilty when I'm not crying... but I know that is not what he would want from me.

I'm a writer, and one of the last conversations I had with Nick in person was him encouraging me to write as much as I can. I took his advice, and wrote an article, which Elite Daily was so graciously able to publish. My words have not healed me - but they did give me peace of mind knowing it's okay that right now I'm not okay.

I wanted to share it all with you - I really would wish this pain away from everyone... but this may be the only way I know how to be a voice in this sandstorm of emotion.

Stay strong <3

http://elitedaily.com/life/its-okay-not-being-okay/1031272/

[MartyT]

Your article is beautiful, honest and true, Georgina, and I thank you for sharing it with all of us.

I've added a link to it at the base of my own blog post, published earlier this week, Guilt and Regret Following The Death of A Friend ♥

[glcasa]

Thank you, Marty - I really appreciate that <3

[enna]

My dear Georgina, your article was wonderful. And I am so very glad you are allowing yourself to NOT be OK. It is so very important to acknowledge your feelings and let them be OK. Writing is a great tool and really does help us on this very tough grief journey.

Anne

[Guest]

Thank you for the article, and I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my son in January and your article describes my personal emotions very well, so it made me cry of course. what doesn't?

I did expect to have him forever, like your friend, our kids are supposed to outlive us. I lie daily too, many times a day, saying I'm ok to coworkers mostly, as I have lost most of my friends since he died.

I will try to follow your lead and write more. I used to be a writer myself, as well as a sketcher, a car-singer, a baker and amateur chef, and a jeopardy watcher, and a bicycle rider. There's so much that I don't do now that I hope to begin eventually doing again. Maybe writing is where I should start because there are always erasers.

[Kacy]

Thank you, Georgina, for this article. You have such a wonderful gift with being able to put into words what so many of us feel. I don't know how to answer people when they ask how I'm doing. Sometimes I say I'm okay and other times I just say not very well. Either way, it's not the truth. I want to say I'm doing terribly - just going thru the motions of living, but then I know they will try to fix me by offering some well intentioned comment. In most cases, it doesn't help. I think that's why these forums are so helpful. I don't feel anyone here is trying to do that - only trying to understand and, most importantly, just listen.

You're right - It is okay that we're not okay.

Mary

[kayc]

Thank you for sharing this with us. It's good to recognize that we are right where we are supposed to be and it's okay to not feel okay.