HAP Posted September 9, 2015 Report Share Posted September 9, 2015 Dear friends,Jane's dad has been admitted to the hospital. The news is not good. Essentially, it looks like his body is shutting down and we are looking at days to weeks. He is mentally confused--thinks Jane is still alive, doesn't always recognize Gail and is not always sure of his own name. We are meeting with the doctors at the hospital tomorrow morning to talk about palliative care and hospice. Tthey plan to run a few more tests tomorrow to confirm what they think is going on. As I know more, I'll let you know. Give your loved ones an extra hug the next few days. Be well, all of you. Peace,Harry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted September 9, 2015 Report Share Posted September 9, 2015 Jane's dad and the family are on my prayer list, Harry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted September 9, 2015 Report Share Posted September 9, 2015 Yes. Amen. ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted September 9, 2015 Report Share Posted September 9, 2015 Harry, Jane's Dad and all family are in my prayers as I sit here at the beach in FL contemplating loss grief and our pain. Prayers for everyone. Butch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted September 9, 2015 Report Share Posted September 9, 2015 I'm praying too, Harry, I saw this news on your FB page, am so sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wifflesnook Posted September 9, 2015 Report Share Posted September 9, 2015 This must be so hard for you Harry. You are in my thoughts.Jan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAP Posted September 10, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 10, 2015 Dear friends,Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts. Gail and I spent the day with Hank. He seems both somewhat weaker today than he was yesterday and significantly more mentally confused and lost. We spent much of the afternoon talking with four different doctors, including the hospitalist and each of the specialists involved with Jane's dad's case.We also spoke with a social worker and representatives of two different hospice groups as potential managers for his end of life care. Gail also talked this morning with the nurse who supervises her dad's dialysis sessions. Given those conversations and the significant decline in Hank's condition in the last 2-3 days, we are ending his dialysis treatments. His quality of life has declined below the level that he would have any interest in continuing his life. He was already on a DNR and had made clear to both Gail and me where the line was beyond which he would want treatment to end. Tomorrow, we will pick a hospice group and make arrangements for him to come home so he can die in familiar surroundings in as much comfort as we can provide him. As most of you know, Henry was diagnosed with Stage 4 prostate cancer last year that had spread to his bones. Those metastases have spread well into his rib-cage according to the CAT scan done last night. He has been on a hormone treatment for this for nearly a year--which is about the time-frame the oncologist here thought it would work, given how far it had already spread at the time of diagnosis. The doctors assured us today that death from renal failure--he is end-stage there as well--will be a much easer death than waiting for the bone cancer to claim him. They tell us ending dialysis will result in him sleeping more and more until he simply drifts away. How long that death will take is unclear. Estimates range from a few days to a month at the outside. As I said yesterday--and this was reinforced today by what the doctors said to us--his body appears to be shutting down. It's been fighting a myriad of problems for many years and seems finally to be saying it has had enough. I like the man--and will miss him. Pax et lux,Harry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted September 10, 2015 Report Share Posted September 10, 2015 Whatever is to come, I hope and pray these next days are filled with peace and light for all of you, dear Harry, and most especially for Henry. You and Gail are in our hearts ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 10, 2015 Report Share Posted September 10, 2015 From my experience in the care of two wonderful women on hospice (my mom and my mother in law):Let love fill the room at all times.Don't forget chapstick and socks.Put up a sign that reminds visitors that the patient can hear them until their final moments.Sing or put on their favorite radio station a few times a day.Talk about happy memories and how you are all doing very well so that they can rest easier.Take care of the caregivers - feed them - go for a walk with them - remind them to rest and shower, they forget.Write down a log of everything so when the nurses ask - you have accurate information.When breathing becomes labored and odd and fever arrives - always have someone holding their hand - it's almost time.Lots of love and prayers coming your way,Cindy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted September 10, 2015 Report Share Posted September 10, 2015 Harry I'm keeping all involved in deep thought and prayer. And that suffering is as minimal as possible. Peace to youButch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAP Posted September 11, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 11, 2015 Dear friends,I am exhausted, so this will be brief. We did not bring Hank home today. Gail fell this morning and managed to break a bone in her heel. Getting that straightened out took much of the day--and by then it was really too late to get anything done. She is supposed to stay off that foot for the next 6-8 weeks. We will see an orthopedist early on Monday for a fuller diagnosis and treatment plan. Under the circumstances, I will be spending most of my time after tomorrow taking care of the two of them. I will be without internet access there, so I am not sure when I will be able to post anything further. We did tell Jane's dad what is going on and that we plan to get him home. He continues to weaken and is lucid for shorter and shorter periods of time. I do not think he will live long once we get him home--but one never knows. Thank you all for you thoughts and prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iPraiseHim Posted September 11, 2015 Report Share Posted September 11, 2015 Praying for you Harry. My wife was on dialysis so the information given to you is correct. God grant you comfort and grace. Shalom, George Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted September 11, 2015 Report Share Posted September 11, 2015 Dear Harry,I hope all goes as well as it can, and that you find peace and healing and love around all of you. I'll be holding you in my heart and in prayer and in good thoughts as you enter this time of more changes and more challenges.Peace and Light around you, dear friend.fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted September 11, 2015 Report Share Posted September 11, 2015 Oh Harry, I am so sorry about this latest news. You surely have your hands full right now, I'll be praying for strength and wisdom...one day at a time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted September 11, 2015 Report Share Posted September 11, 2015 I'm so very sorry Harry. When it rains it pours. I understand. And my fervent prayers are with you all. Butch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAP Posted September 12, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 12, 2015 Dear friends,Hank is home and resting relatively comfortably. I've had my refresher course on giving meds and changing soiled adult diapers. This is, however, not going to be pretty.Peace,Harry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted September 12, 2015 Report Share Posted September 12, 2015 And the hardest part is watching them suffer...and letting go. Not sure we can until we have to, and even then, we go kicking and screaming! I pray for God's grace to be with you and give you strength. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted September 13, 2015 Report Share Posted September 13, 2015 My prayers continue Harry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted September 14, 2015 Report Share Posted September 14, 2015 Sending our prayers and holding you in our hearts, Harry . . . ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debi.williams Posted September 14, 2015 Report Share Posted September 14, 2015 Dear Harry, wishing you inner strength and courage all the way Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted September 14, 2015 Report Share Posted September 14, 2015 Dear Harry,Is there hospice or home nursing help available to assist you? Holding you in my thoughts and prayers, and in my heart. Peace to you,fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAP Posted September 15, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 15, 2015 Dear friends,Hank died about 5:45 this evening. Gail and I were both there when he passed. It was over very quickly when it came.Fae, we brought in hospice on Friday. The nursing people were wonderful. But it is exhausting even with the amazing support they gave us. --Harry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted September 15, 2015 Report Share Posted September 15, 2015 I am so sorry, Harry. Please let Gail know that she is in our prayers also. Yes, another death. Sometimes it is just too much. You know we are here for you. Anne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyCarrie Posted September 15, 2015 Report Share Posted September 15, 2015 Harry,I am so sorry. I join my prayers with those of the others here. Please know I care that you all are hurting.Blessings,Carrie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted September 15, 2015 Report Share Posted September 15, 2015 I'm so sorry Harry. Peace and prayer to you and to Gail. Butch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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