Clematis Posted June 1, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 1, 2016 How can this be that I am here in my father's house and he is not here with me, and yet I must somehow move myself and my cat and most of his stuff into my own condo, which I have magically cleared out mostly by myself, while I am mostly not able to do anything. Is this some kind of riddle? Is it even possible that there is some way through this? I feel desperate... Am I back at the beginning, when I signed on as "AloneAndLost"? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clematis Posted June 1, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 1, 2016 No, I'm not back at the beginning. And I am going to Hawaii and will be fine. I just need to be careful for now... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 1, 2016 Report Share Posted June 1, 2016 Laura, I know you are looking forward to going to HI but I honestly hope you will follow doctor's orders when they get the MRI back and not go unless they clear you to do so. No vacation is worth costing you further health damage and you don't want something permanent that could have been temporary. PLEASE! I understand your concerns about clearing his stuff while you're supposed to be taking it easy. It's kind of how I feel in my life most of the time...I'm getting older and unable to do certain things yet don't have people here to help me and can't afford to hire help and when I do they don't come through or do a good job. It's like I'm always in a catch 22! Meanwhile, still getting older, it's the pits! What I have learned is to try and stay in today, prioritize, do what I can, hire what I must and just keep plodding along and hope for the best. It's all I can do. The worst thing I can do is worry about it! That doesn't help and only hurts, I've learned the hard way esp. since I already suffer from anxiety. I try to put things back into perspective by enjoying my animals and nature, they destress me and have a calming affect. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clematis Posted June 1, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 1, 2016 I am thinking positively about getting negative results on the MRI's and going to Hawaii. I finally got a copy of the police report and they did cite the other driver. That is good news. I know what you mean-It's tough feeling like you ought to be able to do yourself. Nevertheless, my dad did leave some money in a trust fund and I am the executor. The downside of that is that my sisters want their part ASAP, but it doesn't work like that. I made the decision to pay people to help me with this process, because it is a cost of settling his estate and also a cost of my having cared for him at home. Had he been pushed off into assisted living, everything he had left would have been liquidated and long gone. What I am doing-staying at his house while clearing out my own house is really the only way to handle this that I can see. The upside of this is that my sisters who didn't want to be bothered with any of this and wouldn't mind what my handling things did or does to me while my dad was alive or now that he's gone, are paying half of what it costs to have people help me. My sisters are both functional adolescents even though one is over 60 and the other is getting close to it. They are like teenagers, and as someone pointed out to me, like bratty teenagers. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 1, 2016 Report Share Posted June 1, 2016 I wouldn't give a second thought to what your sisters think. They could be doing it themselves but they aren't. They can wait patiently or impatiently, the choice is theirs. The result will be the same regardless! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clematis Posted June 2, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 2, 2016 That's true, Kay! They were out here in March and did nothing. There was one day when they could have gotten some stuff done, but decided they would rather go on a Pink Jeep tour instead. Especially when they heard what the work was that needed to be done. They probably would have been willing to paw through his stuff to see if they could find anything valuable to talk me out of, but I wasn't going for that . I did give them a few little things while they were here but there was no wholesale rummaging. They already got to do that, anyway. When my mother died 11 years ago, my dad had to size down drastically to move from a big house to a small condo. My sisters and I split my mother's jewelry, china, crystal, and paintings, but of the furnishings and old family treasures and what not in my parents' house, my two sisters easily carted off 3/4 of what was there, after decades of being the recipients of vacations, gifts, appliances, and all kinds of furniture and whatnot as my parents had the money to acquire nicer things, and I got nothing because I lived across the country. My dad pointed out at the time that my mother died that at that time I was getting almost nothing, and I would have to wait for my share. He pointed out that it would be less than a third but it would be things that he hand-picked as his favorites or the best. And he spelled that out in his will. They didn't like it, but oh well... Now they have no recollection of ever having been given anything because it was so long ago...like I sat out here in Arizona rowing my own boat and buying furniture from the goodwill or wherever while my parents divvied up everything between the two of them. So now they are barely speaking to me, but it's probably better that way because it's only upsetting to deal with them. Anyway, I have plenty of other things to think about...like going to Hawaii!!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clematis Posted June 2, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 2, 2016 Not having the best morning-woke up with a headache and balance/coordination problems. Having problems with simple math problems. Like this...if a person is X age and they have a cat, the cat is equivalent of 24 years when the cat is 24 months old. After that, each cat year is equivalent to four human years. So, at what age are they the same, when the cat's age in human years is equivalent to the human's age? I can generally work this out in my head and last hight I tried over and over to do it with a calculator and pencil/paper and cold not reach a solution. Dang! This is SO aggravating! On the plus side (for me) my friend Greg did not get the movie job in New Mexico, which is really unfortunate for him-they pay him really well. On the other hand, he is eager to come down here and help me...make up at least part of the money he missed out on. He is coming down here today for six hours, which is tremendous, and I think he'll keep coming. I told him that if he wanted to he could keep working while I am in Hawaii-he can text or call me if he needs direction or decisions about something...he thought that was a great thing, and I figure it would be really good to come back and find that some stuff had been done while I was gone. He is so smart and can do so many things, I'm really fortunate that he'll help me. I can't pay him what he is worth, and so it is partly a favor to me, but since he's out of work right now, having something is good for him. And my obnoxious sisters are paying for half of it-that gives me some satisfaction... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clematis Posted June 3, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 3, 2016 We got a lot done today, although very little of it was actually done by me. Lena helped out, as we consolidated two desks into one. I was supposed to be doing this one myself, but it wasn't happening, so Greg helped me. With Lena's help of course! Here she is, pointing out how useful and convenient an empty drawer can be. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 3, 2016 Report Share Posted June 3, 2016 My Kitty loves boxes too. Those eyes of Lena's! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clematis Posted June 3, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 3, 2016 She is very photogenic...although I must confess that part of my success in getting everything ready and then saying, "Chicken!" In those two pictures, one is before I said the magic word and the other right after. She just whips her head around and looks me straight in the eyes. Lena likes tuna and she'll eat anything that says "Cat..." on it, but she LOVES chicken. She will also drop whatever she is doing, perform a variety of tricks, and wake from a dead sleep and come running with that one little word... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clematis Posted June 3, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 3, 2016 I go to take my MRI's tomorrow...do you think it will pull the fillings out of my teeth? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted June 3, 2016 Report Share Posted June 3, 2016 No Laura, the MRI will not pull fillings. I have had several MRIs to my head and I have had no problem! I even have one tooth implant and everything was fine. Good luck tomorrow. Try not to worry. You are one more day closer to your trip to Hawaii. Anne 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clematis Posted June 3, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 3, 2016 Thank you! Yes, one day closer to painting flowers and eating exotic fruit in Hawaii! It's been a hard year, with my dad going on a rapid decline, all of the trauma around his dying, my sisters' awful behavior, worrying about my being too absent-minded and exhausted from grief to adequately do my work (and decreasing my income for this and future years), struggling through the grief of losing my dad and my aunt and feeling so alone, feeling so worried that I won't get this move pulled off by the beginning of next school year, and then this car accident. It's really been a crushing load. Lounging in Hawaii with my friends and painting flowers will be so good... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clematis Posted June 4, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 4, 2016 Well, I had my MRI's and it went ok. I came home with a cooked chicken and Lena =^. .^= seemed to think I should get MRI's more frequently if they came with an entire chicken! Meow! But I'm still getting really tired. I think I need to figure out how to get to bed earlier, because Lena wakes me up really early and I don't seem to go back to sleep, Burning the candle at both ends, however inadvertently, is probably not the way to recover from a head injury. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 4, 2016 Report Share Posted June 4, 2016 Did they say when you will get the results? I hope SOON because I know it is unnerving to have to wait. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clematis Posted June 5, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 5, 2016 I hope it will be Monday. Anyway, that is the estimate... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clematis Posted June 6, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 6, 2016 I talked to my doctor's office staff this morning to see when I might get results and they said probably Tuesday because they will run it by my doctor before telling me anything. He is in Budapest and they are 9 hours ahead of us. By the time they get the results and get it to him, he will no doubt be asleep. I gave them the info about the referral I want for speech therapy for cognitive-linguistic secondary to TBI, so they can get his ok about that at the same time. Sue, the speech path where I am doing the OT for my hand and arm has known me for about two years and she thought there was something definitely off about me-something for which she has interventions. I think he'll agree to sign off on it for me. I am doing a lot better since the car accident and head injury, and seems odd, but I wasn't having a lot of strong feelings about my dad during the last two and a half weeks. It is like my little brain had enough to do and gave me a little grief vacation. But now my head is better and the grief is back. Near the end of my dad's life, I was worried about him being home alone while I was at work and eating nothing but pudding. So I had Meals-on-Wheels start (and had a Knox Box installed outside where emergency people can access a key if he can't get to the door. He usually picked at the food-and then had some pudding, but he loved having them come by! Some time between Thanksgiving and Christmas they brought him a gift box with staples, treats and some useful items. One of the things in the box was a towel and washcloth, tied up with a bow-a special "quick-dry" set the color of the edge of a nicely baked sugar cookie. It just sat there until Andrew, about the sweetest guy alive, who did showers for the Hospice group, started coming by. I handed the towel set to Andrew and that was my dad's only towel from then on. I've never used it, but there is has been in his bathroom, next to my colorful towel, since I moved into his spare bedroom. I see in every time I walk in the bathroom, but this morning I saw it and couldn't stop crying... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted June 6, 2016 Report Share Posted June 6, 2016 ♥ 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clematis Posted June 7, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 7, 2016 My doctor got my results (in Budapest) and the MRIs on brain and neck were both negative. So now I am clear to drive or do whatever else I want to do, such as go to Hawaii. I guess my only guide is how I feel and if it seems like a problem. He also approved my getting the cognitive-linguistic speech therapy and that I could go to Chiro and/or PT. Might be good to do both. Chiro is good for the muscles that get twisted up in an an accident, and I don't know-maybe PT would be good too. I don't know. The OT, PT, and SLP are all at the same place and these people know me, mostly from my bringing my dad in for therapy. I seem to be having some coordination problems related to proprioception, such as walking into door jambs, missing a container I am pouring into, almost falling over every now and then, and that kind of thing. I don't know if that's OT or PT, but they'll know, and it's good that they know me over there-from before the accident. I know that I wasn't pouring stuff all over the counter and walking into door jambs before the accident. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clematis Posted June 7, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 7, 2016 p.s. I'm going to Hawaii...or did I already say that? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 7, 2016 Report Share Posted June 7, 2016 Laura, I am so happy for you! But that tells us what it isn't, what IS causing the problems then, or do they know yet? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clematis Posted June 7, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 7, 2016 I have no idea...I guess not everything shows up on an MRI. Perhaps my groovy and brilliant doctor will be able to opine upon that with insight and gusto when he gets back from Budapest and wherever else he is. Hopefully he will return quite refreshed and not as cranky as he was when he left and was obviously overdue for a vacation! I have no idea what went on. In spite of my studies, I really have only a vague idea of what goes on in the brain. Also, you know, they keep telling us that it's all connected... the ankle bone is connected to the leg bone, the leg bone's connected to the knee bone...hahaha and all that. But really, it's connected. I would have gone to a chiropractor right off, and that might have helped the ongoing headaches. Easing the headaches might help some other things. I have always noticed that I am a lot more likely to hit my head on something when I already have a headache and especially don't want to hit it on anything except maybe my pillow...very slowly. Anyway, I will see Sue the SLP for some cognitive-linguistic therapy secondary to TBI, and Sue will start off with some assessment; that might provide a clue as to why I have been scrambling words, talking about the backyard of the car, and so on.. She works at a place called EntireCare-they have SLP, PT, and OT there, and most of those people know me because I brought my dad in to see all of them. I have been seeing Mark the OT there for a hand injury, and I have an appointment with Mark tomorrow. I'll talk to him about the balance/proprioception problems and he will decide if that is in his realm or the PT. And they may be able to figure out why I am running into doorjambs and that sort of thing. The thing that is certain is that everyone who knows me personally or professionally has noticed that I am not quite right. Even Lena seems to be staying clear of me a bit when I walk around the house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 7, 2016 Report Share Posted June 7, 2016 I'm sure they'll get it figured out. You seem articulate with the written word, is it just verbally that it scrambles? Something to take note of. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clematis Posted June 11, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 11, 2016 I saw the chiropractor and he was surprised that I wasn't in a lot more pain, given the condition of my back and neck. He said what he saw in my neck in particular was what would be correlated with my signs and symptoms. This is good, that it hangs together. He asked me a lot of questions, many of which covered the symptoms I hadn't gotten around to yet, from watching me, listening, and examining my spine/neck. After watching me trip over something that was actually very visible, he said something about my proprioception. Yup! He also asked me what you just did, Kay about the written/oral language. Yes, it's a problem with both, and I've been having trouble typing as well. But you can check it this way...not so with talking since it's already out of your mouth and gone. The chiro told me to take ibuprofen regularly until after I get back from Hawaii to help with the swelling and said to bring along a bunch of ziploc baggies and to be prepared to get up and move as much as possible on the plane and drink a lot of fluids. They go together...you know-you drink a lot of water or whatever on the plane and you end up having to trot up and down the plane a lot. I hope I can get on an aisle. My back hurts more since I went to the chiropractor and he moved things around. No one has said anything to me about this, but I wonder if I can drink wine... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 11, 2016 Report Share Posted June 11, 2016 I don't see where a bit of wine would hurt, but I'd be calling and asking the doctor or nurse practitioner before you go. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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