AB3 Posted January 31, 2017 Report Share Posted January 31, 2017 So today I went to therapy for the first time. I remained hopeful that this would be the therapeutic experience I need to cope with my grief and depression. I know that it's not a "miracle cure" and won't make me instantly feel better in one day but I was hoping for more than what I got. The therapist kept talking about antidepressants and ended the session with suggesting I look into other options in which I could get medication and a counselor all at once. I feel like I wasted my time and money. So now I'm sitting here in the same position I was when I left, hopeless and disappointed with life. If this is all there is what's the point?? Do I just give in and take medication and go to another couselor. I'm just so tired..... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenivere Posted January 31, 2017 Report Share Posted January 31, 2017 Finding a counselor is often difficult. Finding a counselor when we are emotionally adrift is an even bigger challenge. Were you prescribed meds as you say maybe I should just take them? I know it seems easy for me to say keep trying. One thing I did was interview them on the phone before making an appointment. If a counselor will not agree to speak with you about your needs and issues for 10-15 minutes, then they are not in the running. I could state my situation and what I wanted help with and see if they felt they could meet at least minimal standards. A good counselor will tell you if they can or if they can't direct you to a collegue they may know. One thing you don't ever have to do is 'give in'. You need help making decisions. Don't hand all your power to someone else. Even printing out some of your prior posts for a therapist to read will help them see where you are and save you from having to restate it over again. It's a good starting point, IMO. I rarely go to counseling without notes jotted down because I know my mind is like Swiss cheese right now and some could get lost in the holes. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AB3 Posted January 31, 2017 Author Report Share Posted January 31, 2017 29 minutes ago, Gwenivere said: Finding a counselor is often difficult. Finding a counselor when we are emotionally adrift is an even bigger challenge. Were you prescribed meds as you say maybe I should just take them? I know it seems easy for me to say keep trying. One thing I did was interview them on the phone before making an appointment. If a counselor will not agree to speak with you about your needs and issues for 10-15 minutes, then they are not in the running. I could state my situation and what I wanted help with and see if they felt they could meet at least minimal standards. A good counselor will tell you if they can or if they can't direct you to a collegue they may know. One thing you don't ever have to do is 'give in'. You need help making decisions. Don't hand all your power to someone else. Even printing out some of your prior posts for a therapist to read will help them see where you are and save you from having to restate it over again. It's a good starting point, IMO. I rarely go to counseling without notes jotted down because I know my mind is like Swiss cheese right now and some could get lost in the holes. Gwenivere, I haven't been prescribed any medication as of yet I just feel like I'm being pushed into taking them by several people. As for counseling I only have one place in the area that I live that I can try so hopefully something will work out with them. As you stated, it's just extremely more challenging finding support while dealing with all of this grief but hey I'm still trying.... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brad Posted January 31, 2017 Report Share Posted January 31, 2017 AB- Check with the local hospices in your area. Here in the Phoenix area Hospice of the Valley offers individual grief counseling as well as grief support groups at no cost. They are trained professionals and it is a wonderful service they provide. Up here in the White Mountains there is a support group offered by the local hospice. It is run by a clergyman and was not a good fit for me; his approach was to lecture rather than allow the group to talk about their grief, also focused on faith being a cure-all to grief; not close to my beliefs. Regarding medications: don't feel pressured to take antidepressants if you don't feel you need them. There is grief and grief can not be treated by antidepressants. I was put on antidepressants not so much for the grief but due to the fact I was sleeping less than four hours a night and had lost over twenty pounds in the first eight weeks. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted February 1, 2017 Report Share Posted February 1, 2017 I'm sorry you got this one...it doesn't sound like a professional grief counselor, one who specializes in GRIEF but I suppose there are some duds out there. I'd try to find a different one but make sure it's someone who specializes in grief, not all counselors have grief training and don't understand that grief can bring symptoms of depression but the way of dealing with it is different from someone with a chemical imbalance that needs medication. What WE need is to process our grief and sometimes we need help knowing where to start with it. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marie Lee Posted February 1, 2017 Report Share Posted February 1, 2017 AB....That sucks.....pls don't give up on yourself or your journey. There are many ways to heal...and time seems to be the best component. I took a short trip to the beach and spa...got a massage ...pampered myself some and cried myself to sleep. It helped. My current journey seems to be getting back in touch with things I loved that Kev didn't necessarily....The beach is one of those things... The healing journey continues....and will probably last for the rest of my life...but at least I feel like I am making some progress... Back to life? Who knows....? I sure don't.....here's to not knowing..Marie 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widowedbysuicide Posted February 1, 2017 Report Share Posted February 1, 2017 I'm hoping you continue to seek counseling with someone you can feel comfortable with. Take care. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AB3 Posted February 1, 2017 Author Report Share Posted February 1, 2017 Thanks everyone, unfortunately there's not much around here in terms of counseling options. I only have one more place that I can try so hopefully everything works out. I'm not giving up yet though I definitely feel like it. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 1, 2017 Report Share Posted February 1, 2017 AB, i'm so sorry that you're having such a problem finding a counselor that fills your needs the right way. I know you will thank yourself later on for being slow and cautious and holding out for the right lifeboat to jump into. One foot in front of the other(without stumbling would be good!)... Darrel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AB3 Posted February 1, 2017 Author Report Share Posted February 1, 2017 52 minutes ago, olemisfit said: AB, i'm so sorry that you're having such a problem finding a counselor that fills your needs the right way. I know you will thank yourself later on for being slow and cautious and holding out for the right lifeboat to jump into. One foot in front of the other(without stumbling would be good!)... Darrel Thank you Darrel, yes I'm holding out for that lifeboat hoping I won't drown in the process. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted February 2, 2017 Report Share Posted February 2, 2017 I think we all just tread water most days, and I cannot swim. I take Xanax for a lot of reasons. It helps stop my tremors for awhile. It will take care of a panic attack, and some times I am bothered with an old ruptured colon and stomach problems make a congenital tremor look like I have parkinsonism. It helps. But the grief cannot be cured with medication. I quote Rose Kennedy often. Time does not heal grief, it just provides scar tissue. Those that have been on here the longest, we follow their progress and sometimes lack of it for awhile. This path we all walk on, it always has some deep potholes, no matter how many months, no matter how many years. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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