KarenK

Bad day here today.....my son found a lot of blood in the grass as he mowed the yard. Discovered it was from my Marley dog as she peed. We rushed her to the vet. They also found her gums bleeding and several bruises on her head and stomach. They have run all kinds of tests and xrays and aren't sure what's causing it. She doesn't act sick and this just came on all at once. She's had Lupus for several years. Her platelets are extremely low and she is staying there overnight for more tests and in case she needs a transfusion. Doctor says this may be caused by the Lupus and may be treatable. It's just wait and see......We are all crushed by this. She is my special buddy.

I'm very sorry about your friend, Kay. Do you think Iris will stay or move with relatives now since she is ill?

I think one of these days you're going to finally hit rock bottom with Dee and show her the door. I believe I would choose loneliness over being screamed at most of the time and having to walk on eggshells. Surely she is contributing to the depression. Even if you have to show a new person the ropes, it might be worth it.

WOW! Can't even comprehend how cold that would be. I've seen rescues in that area on "North Woods Law". Rugged and dangerous and those were in summer. Coldest I've experienced is -10 in Ky. Thought I was a popsicle. No complaints here. In the 70's which will be nice for all the Super Bowl fans next weekend. Expecting a zillion visitors to the valley.

Hope it works out getting a cat and also that you have an out of the way place for the litter box. I hated that the odor of cat pee and litter permeated anything in the vicinity. I had to wash a bunch of stuff from a closet near our cat's box after he died. Hate seeing you forced into something not your preference. Not sure I'd classify those people as Christians, more like judgemental fanatics.

Oh Kay, so sorry to hear about your friend. I believe Iris has been fighting cancer also. Poor thing. Are you looking after Jazzy right now? Can you bring her to your place or is it your gate that's off track? It's too cold out for a dog to stay outside, isn't it?

No obit notice for Ron. Those who were important to him knew he was gone.

I can only echo what Kay and Marg have said. There just has to be someone else out there that can help you. Perhaps your shower aide knows someone? I've been watching a 2004 series called "Everwood" with Treat Williams about lives of people in a small Colorado town. Really enjoying it. 89 episodes so am watching in between other stuff.

Boredom is pretty much the norm for me. Not driving keeps me at home. Can't do yard work or much cleaning as I run out of breath. Don't like it, but I deal with it. I've been watching a lot of older movies with actors I like. Of course I've already seen them, but it's nice to see familiar faces instead of wondering who the neck some actor is. I think it's sad when a fine actor continues to act when it's time to bow out gracefully. I noticed Anthony Hopkins made a new movie which had a very low rating. I'd just rather remember them from better days. Glad you thought of lubricant for the walker. I was going to suggest 3 in 1 oil. Hope it works.

I imagine some type of exercises would help with the muscle strength in time. Is it supposed to help your posture? Not sure how they would alleviate the pain. All you can do is try. Guess I don't understand how Dee can be so drunk that she remembers nothing, yet she manages to find her way home. Could her "memory loss" be a convenient excuse for her cruelty? Makes you wonder as it happens so often. Back in my much younger days, I remember drinking to the point of almost passing out, but never forgot what occurred while I was drunk.

Gwen, it just seems that you have become Dee's "punching bag" no matter what you do. I understand that she is ill and seems to find fault in anything you do. Please don't get in the mindset that you have done something wrong. Trying to live up to someone's ridiculous expectations is exhausting in itself. Been there, done that. No wonder you're tired.

I'm so very sorry for your loss Didelfi. I'm glad you found your way to our group, although I'm sure it's the last place you want to be. It does get better with time, but there's really no specific timeline because we are all different. Grief is a journey you walk at your own pace, but you are not alone. We here will walk beside you. I guess I did most of my crying in the first couple of years. My daughter died a year after my husband so it took a while for the fog to lift from around me. Even 10 years later, certain things bring tears without warning. I don't suppose I will ever accept the losses, but have learned to adapt. Feel free to post whenever you want. There is usually someone here to offer comfort or just to listen if that is what you need. Please remember to take care of yourself. Hydrate and eat and rest when you can.

Marg, have you been to Silverton and Ouray in Colorado? Beautiful country..scary road. Snooty store clerks in Telluride.

Your NM adventures sound like so much fun, Marg. My many NM trips were mostly to Gallup and Zuni for Native American things and to Carlsbad(as a child) to visit relatives. I faintly remember falling into a creek in Ruidoso one time. lol Have wanted to check out the Gila Wilderness since you mentioned it. Maybe some day.....

47 here at 5pm. Into 30's at night. Not balmy, but acceptable.

I think this mole hill has become a mountain and we all have better things to stress over. I'll continue to post as always. If you don't like my content, don't read it. If it's deemed inappropriate, I'm sure Marty will step in.

I understand what Boho is saying. Those of us who have been here for a while talk back and forth about most all problems we are having. Problems that could have arisen with or without our spouse. We have communicated for years this way because we're friends. I guess we have kind of an unspoken agreement that this is okay. I know I use this forum as my link to humanity as I belong to no online social groups. Boho, let's be honest. Yes, you could be looking at some of the same problems in the future. Anyone could. It's all just part of life and getting older. There is nothing wrong with having a brighter outlook on life. It's just harder for some than others because of their unique experiences. We are all individuals and handle things differently.

Marg, I'm definitely grateful for what I do have. I could be a lot worse off. I'll just never be in that bracket of widows with unlimited funds.

I have never lived a life of ease, married or widowed. We worked hard for all we had and lived paycheck to paycheck. We didn't manage our resources well. He had no life insurance and without my son's help, not sure where I would be. I understand what Boho is saying. At one time I joined a widow/widower social group. Their activities were meeting for lunch and dinner out every day, trips, cruises, etc. If you didn't plan to attend regularly, you weren't part of the group. They appeared to be financially set to enjoy it. I definitely was not and dropped out right away.

Three days of off and on rain here. Not heavy, just the soaking kind that helps the weeds grow. Lots of snow in the mountains, roads and schools closed. Would love to be there, but inside by a toasty fireplace. Those days are over....Never hurts to dream.

Kay, the news reports that Phoenix is among the highest in the nation for soaring food costs. Boy, do I know it! My son pays for our groceries and he almost wouldn't buy eggs until I named off the various things I used them in. I don't think he pays much attention to the ingredients in things I make. I just make the list and he does the shopping. It's really tough to try and be economical. I think that is a foreign concept now.

Eggs are about $7 a dozen here. Sometimes there are none. Reminds me of the toilet paper fiasco we had when Covid arrived. Everything has just gotten ridiculous in price. We sure don't eat "high on the hog". Mostly hamburger. I stretch things the best I can. When Ron was here, he kept our big freezer full. It stays mostly empty now.

Might be a good idea to sell it before it loses any more value. Also, more things could wear out while it's just sitting. It would be one less thing to worry about. Hope Dee goes to the clinic soon about the meds. Dangerous and not fair to either of you to continue this way.

Why is the van not street legal now? Weren't you driving it before surgery? Sure hope the pain clinic will be able to help you. Another movie for you to try. "The Snow Walker" from 2004. A bit sad, but decent. Wishing for better days ahead for you.

Gwen, does your oxygen concentrator have battery backup if power goes out? I believe some do.