kevin

That idea of the dream Journal is dynamite....I write down every dream, every odd voice, wind chime without wind, and when someone else mentions a similar event.......It is amazing even finding something out of place or something shows up unexpectedly.......It will be six weeks tomorrow since I lost Angela and definitely feel I am making progress with my Grief control. But I had a long journey yesterday and was flooded with memories, and Tears. Go figure..

Debi, just a tip, whenever you feel a cool draft, your "spidey senses" should start to tingle....I actually think it takes a sender and a receiver to make this communication work. It is without a doubt, that the Spirit or Essence of our recently passed are still apart of us.....I talk to Angela all the time........today I worked on my Van and got the A/C blower replaced, once the job was complete, I looked at the passenger seat and said, told you I'd fix it..........If I ever meet someone else, she will have to be very understanding........

Decided to take a constructive look at myself after 6 weeks since I lost my Angela....My concern is I developed a Morning habit of drinking in the local Pub on a Daily basis. It's a morning chit chat session that is talk about News, Sports, and weather. But I do consume about 6 Beers without breaking a sweat. And I do find once you get the Beers in you , your motivation to do anything else but have a nap is gone. I sincerely believe this excessive drinking is a symptom of my Grief(coping mechanism) and should work its way through the process. On the positive side, I started going to the Gym at 5 AM to get the day started with a jump........that combined with my Golf walks should keep my Health in check., diet this time of year is 75% veggies and Dairy.......tomorrow I will slowly switch to low Cal Beer...hopefully maintain my Energy and feel a little better about myself.........The Grief will always be apart of me, and I will deal with it with a smile, it is something I'm proud of......Love you Ang

I have experienced "something" twice now and am a believer........Reading up on the"resurrection" and how this is to play out in the end gives me some hope. Even started going to Church just to follow up on our "Bucket List".......I find it so difficult from being the Care Giver 24/7 to absolutely nothing but looking after myself..............Found a site that gave me some tips and it was all about keeping yourself busy and healthy, and in time, the old you and new you will come together..........this new journey has it's Challenges.....

MaryAnn, I found that I can accommodate the FOG with activities......I spend about 5 hours daily at a Golf Course, walking my dog, and dropping by the local Pub (3 Pint Limit now).........this routine gets changed later as I entered a Seniors Bowling League.....I truly believe the more new activities I add the lighter the FOG will become........My goal is to reduce Pub time......

I found this article one of the best written in regards to capturing how my grief "bursts" appear.........To understand how they can be described as waves seems so appropriate and true......I don't think I will ever get over this hurt but will be able to endure it over time. Still cleaning stuff up and giving away cloths.......found gift certificate today(Golf Shop)..100ft wave.........

This seems like it is way out there but my Wife Angela's voice woke me up a few nights ago. I was around 2 AM, (can't sleep) making some soup, simmering the onions and beef on the stove. I went to watch TV and dozed....next thing I heard was Kevin, wake up.......my feet hit the ground and I went to the kitchen. Then I looked around and tried to process what just happened........I was never one to talk about or even convinced the Spirit world existed......but I am now....I discussed this with an Elderly Lady and she said what I experienced is common....don't deny it, but embrace it.....

Jeff, good words and definitely they come from the heart. I didn't let anyone assist me in the sorting and discarding process because it is just too personal.....I am actually inventorying all the jewellery and putting it in a lock box....some of that stuff is too tempting....Thinking of a Garage sale in the Spring to clean out both our Skates, cloths, toys,bikes, etc .....and a Mountain of Christmas decorations........This week I am putting up a small "Shrine" in the living room . This will display will consist of a small table,the URN, pictures, and some flowers...It is a Journey and I am not sure of the destination.....but it now has some purpose...

The clock of life is wound but once, And no man has the power To tell just when the hands will stop At late or early hour. To lose one's wealth is sad indeed, To lose one's health is more, To lose one's soul is such a loss That no man can restore. The present only is our own, So Live, Love, toil with a will -- Place no faith in 'Tomorrow' -- For the clock may then be still.

Thanks Anne/Karen.......the situation where I live got a bit hurried because of a few Forest Fires and property losses. The call went our for donations so it hastened my sorting. Angela was a Generous person and would expect me to give away/donate her cloths to the less fortunate.....Finding the Cards, "lost Jewelry", and keepsakes is such a bonus........I have no deadline for my clean up only a resolve to do it myself slowly.........Deep love leaves a deep scar.......Went to Church last night, first time in years...

I'm approaching the first month since my Wife's sudden passing and decided it was time to slowly start sorting /cleaning some things up........Back things up a bit, my Wife of over Thirty One Years, Angela, was a victim of Vascular Dementia for the past few years and was constantly in my care. We went everywhere together, she had virtually no short term memory , but was very happy. Came up with a system that was taking notes......if the same question kept coming up, I would get her to write it "in the book"......then she check her memory book. Now , I had a half dozen notebooks because they always were left in the darndest places. I would make an Agenda for the day so she would see where and what we were going to do......I would take her to the Golf course with me, pack a lunch for her , and she just loved it. She didn't understand why I didn't Golf everyday (Life was good).......She enjoyed the lunch and the socializing afterwards........It was great.....As fate and the man upstairs decided, my poor Angela was taken from this World due to Stroke.........I don't think anything will take this empty feeling away......Just as I was feeling better and began cleaning and sorting, I came upon A Valentine Card for me....it brought me to my knees.....On that note

I am on week two since my wife of 31 years was taken from me suddenly.......I find this forum is so important because I didn't think anybody could have felt as hollow/empty as I do. But now I know my feelings are normal, talking to my beloved is normal and Grief bursts are common. My kids keep an eye me (via long distance now), but I feel with readings from here and my believe in the hereafter, things are slowly improving one day at a time...... I find making lists is very helpful, helps the focus...

This is the most exceptional piece of writing that really Helps me........real truth "Grief will display Character".........this is the hardest time of my life and this write up is almost a road map on what to expect......thank you

Luna, my Wife died in the same manner one week ago today.......If not for the family and long time friends ,not sure what would have transpired.....The young children will be a blessing as they will keep you grounded/purposed?, if there is such a word.....I am in no hurry to get passed my grief as long as I remain functional.........what was said to me, speaking from the other sides..." Death is nothing at all, it does not count . I have only slipped into the next room. Nothing has happened. Everything remains the same." This goes on and if you believe in the afterlife, eternity compared to our small time in these bodies is fractional..best and prayers

You captured my feelings to the "T"......It was only a few days ago my dear wife suddenly passed away while at a Movie theater. We have been together for over 31 years and our Wedding Anniversary is in a few days. I have been my wife's care giver for the last 4 years as she developed dementia after several " mini" strokes. This was my new job and we were coping very well. Everyone in the small town we adopted were used to seeing the two of us together everywhere........To have someone with me 24/7 to now be gone has left me with the saddest, emptiest hole in my stomach' I don't think I can possibly recover......By reading this letter I know I am not alone and my feelings are normal........I will take one day at a time and not do anything for six months.....hopefully by then I will return to calm...thanks