kevin

KayC....... early morning Shovelling, those were the days....we also had frigid cold and once in awhile,(2-3) times a winter, we had to boost one car and then the other.....Now, another log on the fire and a Third cup of coffee.....

Retirement is great, because you have the option to work if you want to....with absolutely no stress, and not too many silly meetings or politics. Part of our discussions with old co-workers usually starts with recent losses, and there is always one or two. I do counsel younger people that keeping yourself fit before retirement is very important....as an example...you will be Golfing 4X a week compared to two days, you will be on the go the rest of the time.....as a couple.....you burn a lot more calories. It is good, but be ready for it so it is not a shock.......But Angela and I loved the life style.......

Margaret, you have a way with words that actually paint a picture........What you are describing is something out of Americana / Norman Rockwell and it brings back so many memories. My parents didn't get a TV till about 59 and we had one channel.....for the next 7 years. We were rural also, amount 20 farms, and we all met at the field(by the General Store/post office) to play ball every evening......Those are such good memories........I hope your son will capture your words on canvas....

I like Billy!!!......Those are all my favorite shows, felt bad when Longmire got cancelled.........I still tune into the "Young and Restless" , Angela watched that for 25 years +....My grand daughter watches it now.......I did a Family dinner last week, as long as we didn't talk about me everything was great......We all have regrets, otherwise it wouldn't be part of the Process...just don't be too hard on yourself.....Sounds like you were the motivator, you believed if you could beat it, he definitely had a good chance also.......none of us are anywhere close to perfect

Gwenivere , Lost my job is a great way to put it..........I feel the same way......My caregiving/advocate duties was my full time occupation...Now I feel I have very little purpose. I am filling the time with new interests, but there still is a lot of empty time.....Put my name in to be a night time volunteer at the homeless shelter.......one or two nights per week over the winter.........

Cleaning up Also........ throwing out some of Angela's Gardening/ painting cloths..I kept her favorite Jacket hung up in a prominent hook.......what I am also finding is an abundance of miscellaneous stuff that should have been tossed years ago......Small silver lining in this Journey...

Tejas, my heart goes out to you and your family.....You came to the right place and what you are feeling is exactly what we have all felt. Don't fight the moments, let your Grief flow, it is natural, and stay close to your children......you will learn to adapt to this new world, but take it day by day.....and watch your health....

My day was planned out until I got a call from the Engraver....Angela's Funeral Urn was finally ready....this was a redo. I went down to the Shop and they gave me the Urn.....I had a difficult time holding my Emotions together. When I got home I was pretty misty, spent time with the Ashes, transferring the Ashes, and sobbing...Had a couple of cool ones...It doesn't take more than a mention of my Angela to knock me right off my norm.....And I still think I'm doing fine.........On the lighter side, had to re book my Dogs Haircut and totally forgot my appointment at the bank.......

KayC......I am trying to reconnect Spiritually, after a 30 year Hiatus I have returned to the Church.......My motivation is Angela . Now I need to understand the Bible in detail...particularly the Resurrection and the hereafter.....I have an abundance of help and reference materials. This, I am finding very interesting, and a journey of its own.

You brought some laughter to me.......sounds like your a Spit Fire at heart. Good for you.....Give yourself some credit, first month if I wasn't crying, I was drinking......How else are you supposed to feel when your world is being re learned?

Divorce was a celebration or relief, this Grief of a Spouse is 100X worse than the worst heartache I ever endured in the past. When I got divorced the love was gone, and whenthe Love of my Life passed away, I was totally devastated, and as I approach day 100 of this Journey, I truly believe I am only touching the tip of the Ice Berg. There is so much more to understand.

Mountain Music, Cadillac Ranch , Mr. Bogangles , anything Shania........needless to say we met at a Country Night Club.....those were the days....

Margaret, just read something Amy(Dew's Girl) wrote some time back....and other's use this term...."unanchored". It usually takes a little time these days for things to sink in.....It came to me watching the weather and the storms in the East Coast, big ships taken out and anchored......this feeling to get away is natural because there is nothing or a purpose Anchoring us....It is somewhat Liberating if it wasn't so sad......these trips or excursions are supposed to bring back the color to our memories....

Maybe I don't interpret "the imagination" thing so well......What I do know that keeps or resurrects memories is physical locations......Vacation spots, special areas, something as small as a highway truck stops , favourite campsites, I know every washroom stop on the TransCanada Highway, and the Ferry systems........When I travel now, it is all memories of Angela....I don't Imagine, it is Total ReCall....back to the RV plan

Welcome back...and good fighting....remember strong body, strong mind, and above all, strong Spirit....

Gwenivere, what excellent words.....kinda sums up the way we all feel......I only give thanks Angela took an early retirement, so at least she had a few good Golden years......We went through three years of doctors and hospitals, everyone second guessing, and always questions I ask myself. This life sentence of Grief has no parole.......What is the color (besides Black)associated with Grief ?........

Margaret, you and Billy were right on the mark.....I am searching down an RV right now(this is a good time to buy), just a small 20 footer....My only draw back are my two animals....dog and cat.......my plan will bring them along, see how it goes.....I believe in the one year rule for major chances, the RV was always part of our plan...if anything, it is unfinished business........I feel good someone else has the RV idea......good luck Margaret

I'm back and a little sore....Took a few pain killers. In theory I will never have toothache again and only three more minor visits....Should have done this a few years ago.....thanks for the well wishes.

On the lighter side......I just got the call from my dentist.....I will be doing 6 extractions tomorrow and hopefully a denture that fits. Put this off for a couple of years........see ya in a few days

Good to have you back.......I definitely understand teeth/gum issues........

Keith, I'm on Day 91, and as it appears, still in the learning period of this Grief journey. Went out and ordered that Mary Chapan album , that is a Tear jerker that just nails it....thanks so much.... KayC, I recommend to everyone to keep the wedding ring on for as long as they want.....it signals the smart people your intentions, and really weeds out the stupid ones. There is something to be said for living alone with great memories...and we can talk to your spouse's anytime.....

Hard to talk about something we both know what this journey is taking us through.....I was told by a friend of mine, a woman's Grief and struggles are so much different than a man's........I don't pretend to understand too much of this journey, but I do know you have a good sound intelligence working for you ,and a loving heart. Like to hear from you...

Debi, rise and shine......you got us worried about you , I know you are an intelligent and tough woman......Tell us you have control of this and your son is fine.......kevin

Butch, hang in and get better...listen to the caregivers and turn this thing around.....talking to the big guy for you....

Listening to you two, its like you have a camera on my house.........I hardly eat but the kitchen is cluttered, I never eat at the table, and have papers scattered all over kitchen table and living room.......I have lawyer problems, government pension re filings, and estate stuff...seems to go on forever.....Good news is I have(will have) two of the three issues completed by end of November........But this sucks whatever "cleaning" energy right out of me.......I do share my problems with Angela and I sense her smiling presence .