kevin

Debi.....I cannot relate to the struggles you are going through, but I did read what advice some of the other good people have put forward. I sincerely believe you should clean up the cars and sell them........cancel the insurance and licenses(possible cash back), your Mom's house, any chance to use that as your primary residence? and don't worry about the plot, tell them once the estate is settled you will get back to them......(cars part of Estate)........but if your Mom's house is actually leaking, get a tarp or something in place, water can result in a variety of damage. I would also consider listing your Mom's house. Reducing your liabilities will bring you peace of mind.......take care

After the services my neighbour came up to me crying, she said she should have checked closer on a request I made 7 years earlier. I told her it was seven years earlier and it didn't cause anything today...That is what or how guilt effects all of us...I truly believe it takes a good person to question the guilt emotion or to second guess their own actions.......I find if you look in the mirror and like the person you see, you did your best....

KayC.....I retired seven years ago , but we are definitely in the same frame of mind. ......I find keeping yourself engaged is the key...you have added purpose with your volunteer work....I have only began Church services and my own Bible study. I also watch every kind of sports.....As I mentioned, life will never be as it was because it can't, but it is slowly getting better....and I'm good with that today......take care.

I find I am finally seeing a Positive side to this gut wrenching journey we are all in.....Most of us have to fill our time with something besides sorrow and Grief. Don't get me wrong, Grief can raise its head anytime without provocation, but we have an opportunity to explore alternatives...In the last 7 days, besides the Christmas Light project , I enlisted in a Senior Bowling League, joined a Ballroom dancing group at the local School, and volunteered with the Heart and Stroke........It appears like a bit much, but its only four days a week, and allows me to meet different people(which is what the Dr ordered) . Nothing will cure the emptiness we all have, but this seems to keep the mind distracted..........Took a quick journey up north visited kids and grand kids...had to make an appearance so they could see I'm fine....except for the weight loss(I am still over weight), they were all pleased, made arrangements to see them again in mid December.......not seeing any stars, but able to control and manage the "bursts" a lot better.....

My wife asked me in one of her lucid moments why "this thing"happened to her(dementia)....I gave the usual excuses and genetics, but I feel honestly, the clock of time is predetermined , and it is not fair.....only the good die young and other BS etc.....I have a little anger on this note. There is a blog that speaks that Grief does bring out , unintentionally, but brings out Jealousy/Envy.........

Brad, we all think we could have done something different....I feel that way and always will. It would not effected the end. I wish I loved her more, made her smile more, and let her eat more Chocolate. When the second and third parties chirp in with derogatory comments, I don't give them the time of day........If we have found peace with our efforts, that is all that matters.

Butch.....special Kudo's for your Son for stepping up......must be proud....Good luck

I just passed on to a friend "SBCA" living in the present advice........exceptional.....What was pointed out to me was a saying someone came up with "the past is History, the future is a Mystery, and the Present is a Gift............The more we live and focus in the now, the better we should heal...

My condolences, and everyone on this board know what you are going through......The biggest two things that helped me was....do not be afraid to have a daily cry.....it is good for you.....make sure you have someone to talk to, a Grief Buddy would be ideal...and this someone you talk regularly with.......there are councillors, groups, Employee Assistant Programs......This is a slow process, but you will succeed.....kevin

Redwendy, read your piece twice and I was truly touched..........I know you will smile again, soon, now for the rest, only time will tell. What you will find out is you never will get over this, and things will never be as they were.........But I know this Forum has people who are a wealth of knowledge and compassion....Marty is half Angel

Scottsgirl, as mentioned , your Husband left you far too early, and my heart is out there for you and your son. Don't worry too much about the sobbing, better you release the tears than hold them back.....have a good ThanksGiving...kevin

His Baby.......I am on Day 77 and actually don't feel bad for the first time.........I have a little jump in my step today, chores are ahead of schedule, even did some shopping....Angela visited me in my dreams again, nothing different, we were out somewhere, and acted as everything was normal......This journey will take time, and the grief bursts have there moments, but I feel comfortable now knowing there are Good days ahead....... good luck and hang in

Hang in there Brad.....Winnie the Pooh, haven't thought of him for years...

Butch is in good hands......I'm sure the follow up will include some help.........prayers to follow..

Brad, I was somewhat "peed off" with the whole Religion thing when my Angela was taken so suddenly from me.....It took me a couple of weeks to come to the realization, what transpired, was the best outcome under the circumstances........I found most people giving me a nod or a simple "take care" is suffice. When somebody gets too personal, I state, not talking about that....if they persist,I repeat it with an adjective thrown in....

MaryAnn, congratulations , what a difference 24 hours brings. You should be proud of this quick 24 hour turnaround, its a cornerstone of the new you........

Whoever came up with the " Cry time out" was a genius....I'm telling you it really works. The trick is to initiate your own triggers in a set time and place....I have music in my car...couple of songs by the Stones "Tears go By" and "Angie". I start my day early , and have my fist heart to heart......always tears...Then I'm off and feel better. The car is above mentioned music from time to time.......Without my Grief time, I would be in knots. And the Diary, my daily notebook is me talking to Angela, telling her what I'm up to, even include shopping list sometimes. ......Have a good evening

Brad, I found that "Reclusive" trait is too common....its like hanging out in PJ's or sweatpants, not shaving, pizza's, and just being depressed. Not healthy and not much purpose. And I found this was an easy lifestyle to slip into......I find my lists, self imposed commandments, and stringent nutrition has helped me.....now I still have my slips, but I know life is slowly getting better....This board is Aces...good luck

Don't ever beat yourself up over paperwork re-do's.....I am on the Canada Pension Plan Black List because of my three do overs and Certified Death Certificates........I make my lists everyday now and have the Paperwork top of the list. Your drivers permit application will be a snap tomorrow because you have gained experience .....My wife used to say...Don't sweat the small stuff. Sun will shine(somewhere tomorrow)...and this will be a distant inconvenience........good luck

Brad, Nice picture.........I do something very similar, walk the trail by the river where Angela and I walked hundreds of times. It took me a month before I could walk it alone. And Brad, at certain Benches on the trail, I stop and talk to Angela.....The last couple of years were demanding on me, but they were the best two years of my life......tomorrow is another day and the Sun will rise.

Deb, was your Sat. July 25th?....................There seems to be a lot of us with that week as an anniversary entering into Widowland.......Well got to get cleaned up, put on a face, and go to Church.....Everyone have a good day....

Dew's Girl...... started reading your blogs, you got some pretty deep and real stuff there....I have it pinned on my favourites.....Do believe we answer all enquiries " doing fine" no matter what, yesterday, for no reason, in the park , walking by a bench we used to stretch at,I was overcome with emotion..(thank God for those sun glasses).....you mention all these on your blogs so eloquently and from the heart, please keep it up........

Thanks Deb, I'm adding a couple of picture albums as I get around to it....I find it therapeutic........Now about ashes later on, my plan is to have a large portion of our Ashes together in a common gravesite ........this plan very similar to KayC, but final destination in small town Newfoundland, about 5000 miles from where we live....

Sat is 10 weeks for me and I still can't go to a lot of places where Angela and I frequented....Invited out to a neighbors for an early Thanksgiving Dinner, but had to decline.....not ready yet. But I will cook something over the Holidays, Turkey sandwiches and watching football is always good....I have had trouble sleeping lately too, but I do have an early pass to the Gym, so at 4:00 AM if I'm still tossing and turning, I have some place to go......Hope everyone has a good weekend...