widow'15

Gwen: I hear you and I feel your sadness. Just know we are here with you as you walk this road. Big hug, Dee

Gwen: As I was getting dressed for my appointment today I made a mental note to send you a note thinking that tomorrow, six years ago, was the date you lost your Steve. So sorry to read your feelings you're experiencing today. It is so difficult getting through these days. Please know you are in my thoughts. Hugs, Dee

Gwen: Sorry to read you had an anxiety attack while sleeping. How frightening that must be. I hope you woke easily and were able to catch your breath somewhat. I hear you with your closing statement. I won't ever get used to this way of living either, and another excuse of mine is I'm too old to learn any other way to live as my old body is falling apart piece by piece. Thank goodness I am a list maker or I wouldn't know how to get through my day. Take care, Dee

kayc: Good to hear today was a better day. I understand what you mean when you say some days are so awful, they are laughable. It can be so difficult some days remembering how to laugh is impossible. Take care, Dee

Joyce: Please know you are in my thoughts as you have to face this anniversary without your Dale. Hugs to you, Dee

I just finished reading your story and just want you to know how sorry I am to read you are having to go through this with your dear grandmother. I joined this Grief Forum after I lost my husband in 2015. I think you have taken the first step to find others who have walked a similar path you are on. I lost my Mother to dementia 20 years ago so can understand some of your feelings. You sound to be doing what is right for you in spite of no help from others. You have to live with yourself and are following your heart. When your real grandmother shines through, enjoy those moments as much as you can. My heart goes out to you. Dee

Oweee Kay, looks like you really did a proper face plant. So sorry. I must have had you on my mind when I went to bed last night. I had a dream with your sweet Kodie in it. And now you have to deal with a car issue, too. I think you have met your bad luck quota for the year 2020. Take care. Dee

kay: Yes, please keep us posted as soon as you can. Take care, Dee

KarenK: Sorry you are experiencing this dilemma. Keeping you in my thoughts. I was complaining to my neighbor about my not being able to sleep and she shared a friend of hers can't sleep either. Since he lives alone, he gets out at bed and cleans house or works on a painting.......he is an artist. LOL. Not a suggestion for you, but I had to laugh when she shared this with me. I get up, make some toast, take two Tylenol, crawl back into bed and hope for the best. 😁 Good Luck, Dee

Yes, nashreed this forum is perfect for us share our "vents", no matter where we are in this grief. This forum is a safe place to come to when we need to share or when we just need to read how others are functioning through our pain. Stay with us as often as you can, you are not alone. Keeping you in my thoughts. Dee

It's evident you did everything in your power to keep your Sonny well. You were a wonderful Mom for your fur baby. Hugs to you, Dee

Sonny Boy is a beautiful boy and I too understand what you are going through with the loss of him. I had to let my beautiful girl, Maddie, go the end of May of this year. After being diagnosed with bladder cancer in 2018, three years after losing my husband, she became my reason for living. I was told by the oncologist she could live comfortably for at a minimum of one year with treatments, and hopefully longer than a year. The treatments would affect her for a day where she was maybe a little quieter. Even now her absence still is so difficult for me to accept. I understand your thoughts on getting over the loss. We all grieve differently and if someone doesn't seem to get your grief, try not to let their misunderstanding cause you pain. There are many who do get your grief. My best to you, Dee

kayc: I unfortunately agree with your comment. Some 20 years ago, when I was younger and my daughter was healthier, we tried to share caring for my Mother who had dementia. My Mother was recovering from a broken hip surgery. My daughter stayed with my Mother during the week and I stayed with her on weekends since I was still working. Even during that eight months period we began to realize it was no longer possible for "just us" to care for her. The illness changes them so drastically. I looked into home care help but before it was finalized, my Mother passed away. The book, "The 36 Hour Day" tells it like it is, unfortunately. Hugs, to you, Gin. Dee

Oh Gin, my heart feels your sorrow as you reach the 5 year milestone. You seem to be facing so many issues right now that would be so much bearable if your Al were with you. I hope your heart monitor procedure will be accomplished with little stress for you. Even though you say you are alone, please know even though we aren't physically there with you, we are with you in our thoughts. Best wishes and hugs, Dee.

kayc: Yes, been seriously considering asking my doctor for sleeping pills that will work for me. I woke up this morning at 11:30 am after tossing until 3 am, even with some Tylenol before heading to bed, I hate that the day is half over. My old body must get enuf sleep since I don't seem to have the need to nap. But, don't accomplish much anymore at all. Gwen, KarenK : I will provide 20 pounds and a left hand for this new person. LOL Gwen: Due to back logged county and state building inspections I am remaining in limbo on my upcoming move. The mfg. home is placed on my son's property and waiting for the inspectors before anything further can happen. Many inspectors have been furloughed due to pandemic. Additionally, the inspectors who were working were not allowed to work during those days of the heavy smoke from fires south of us. My son is going to have a stroke before all of this is over - he wants to call someone and yell at someone. I told him "NO", it would probably put us further down the list. LOL. We were hoping to be moved before the rains begin. I am slowly shuffling around purging the best I can. Ain't life fun! Karen K: So nice to read that the lady in front of you recognized you deserved to be served before she completed her order. Heartwarming to know there are kind people out there. You did well to stand in place for 15 minutes. I would have probably walked away - back won't take it that long. Take care, all. Dee

kayc and Gwen: Anyone want to trade a bad left leg/hip to this swap? I was up at 2 am this morning, making toast and honey so I could take a couple of Tylenol in hopes of being able to go to sleep.........my stomach doesn't do well with pills on an empty stomach. Finally dropped off to sleep once most of the pain subsided. Gwen: Every night when I go to bed I foolishly think, "maybe tonight I will sleep". LOL So sorry you two are dealing with your pain. You two are probably 10 years younger than I. I try to find humor in my situation, telling myself, if "I knew I would have lived so long, I would have taken better care of myself". Great find on the Hershey kisses, though. Wouldn't dare purchase even one bag, my downfall if they are in my house. kayc: Am sorry to read about Nikisha. Since losing my Maddie, I find I cry whenever I see a commercial on tv about dog food. Animals bring us so much happiness it is sad they have to leave us as they do. Just now received a text from my SIL in Portland, she is going to have to let her precious kitty go due to liver cancer. Tears falling. Dee 😭

I too am sorry for your loss. I understand the pain is still there even though it was in 2014. I believe we never get over the loss of someone that was so important in our life. The special dates on the calendars only remind us how much they really meant to us. I lost my husband in 2015 and the pain I feel today still feels like it was just yesterday. My heart goes out to you as you walk this grief path, just please know, you are not alone. Dee

kayc: I hear you. Shortly after my husband passed away, probably less than two months one of my dearest friends passed away. I have missed her so much and wouldn't even know how to make another old friend at my age. For me, a friendship has to be a two way street and takes years to grow into trust and caring for each other. Just as you say about George and Arlie, my Bob and my Maddie and my friend were one of a kind. In the meantime, I do treasure the casual friends in my neighborhood that let me know they are here if I need them. But, since their lives are busy with families and their "old friends" we will just wave or have a brief conversation occasionally. It just is what it is for now. James, The loss of your Annette is still so soon I am not surprised you are suffering so much pain and loneliness. Unfortunately, I have found after five years of losing my husband I still suffer loneliness. I lean towards being a lonely introvert - so being alone tends to be easier at times. I depended on my husband's love and support more than I needed a large group of friends. It's good you have a family near by, but know you would prefer their understanding more. Since you have to live with yourself, I hope you will be your own "normal" and be comfortable with yourself. Dee

kayc: I agree with Gwen, you must consider your health. Hope you can have the opportunity to speak with your sister and convince her you feel your brother would be in a better place to be executor. Good Luck. Dee

Oh Marty this has to be the most beautiful and moving words describing why the loss of a fur baby is so difficult to us who have lost a companion. Needless to say the tears are flowing. Thank you so much for posting. Hugs, Dee

Marg: It has been a really long time since she has been on the Forum. I do hope she has found some peace. Her young life was given so many tragedies. Dee

😢 So sad. Dee

Kieron: Within time I'm sure you will make a decision on what you will do with your home and yourself. Right now with the country in such upheaval might not open any doors for many. It is positive that your journal proves you have survived a chaotic time in your past. Birthdays and other special days are painful reminders of our loss. Good thoughts going your way. Dee

Marg: So sorry your Aunt passed, but I tend to understand how easy it might be to give up after experiencing so many losses of her dear ones. Life is so hard. My sympathies to you and your family. Dee

Gwen: Reading about your yesterday and your anger is understandable. You asked why do we have so many issues with life anymore; pain; medical appointments, computers, cell phones, appliances not working, etc. Life with our husbands used to be "simple" and manageable. Nothing is "simple" anymore at all. I too get angry. I realize you, like I, are angry at the universe and not our husband who once gave us an easier life. The past three days I was struggling to get my driveway, deck and patio cleaned before the rains started. I kept telling Bob, please give me your perseverance and drive so I can accomplish this. I struggled to satisfactorily complete my three days of manual labor with lots of pain pills inside of me as I envisioned him working so diligently doing what I have been left to do alone. Today, will be a welcomed down day and thank goodness the rain is falling nicely. In spite of your challenges, I am truly amazed at your perseverance to get through your days alone. Hugs, Dee