widow'15

No more snow PLEASE. I've got too much driving to do this week and next. You are truly a "pioneer woman", kayc, still being able to shovel snow. A couple of inches would be fine and then immediately melt, not freeze making everything slick and dangerous. Keeping fingers crossed. Dee

When I first moved here in Tacoma from New Orleans way back when, it took me a long time to get used to walking these steep hills wearing "spike heels". No wonder my back and knees are giving me problems now. In those olden days, we hardly ever wore slacks and sensible shoes to work. Never been in a tornado, but have gone thru hurricanes while down South. I got to experience about three earthquakes living here in the Northwest. Yes, Gwen, that cold wind blowing off the mountains can be very chilly and if severe enough can topple big fir trees. Beautiful place to live though, except when we break rainfall records. My Bob was born and raised here and eventually I began to understand why he loved this place so. Not right I'm still here and he's not. Dee

kayc: I use that statement probably once a week. At my age, and not having my Bob with me physically I state out loud or to myself, "I just don't like being here because I feel like I don't belong here anymore". I try to imagine what my grandparent's life must have felt like during and after WWII, losing a son, dying in an airplane crash as he attempted to land on an air carrier. Another uncle being in the Army suffering the freezing cold in Europe, with little to no contact via telephone calls or "skype", etc. They eventually had to leave the depressed area where they grew up in order to find work, relocate and continue to support their family. How did they find the courage to go on? Maybe, it was doable because they had each other and family for support and courage. Their world must have been as scary as my world is to me now. Dee

kayc, this appointment was with my retinal specialist for eye treatments for my macular degeneration issue. It is definitely a hands on treatment. I understand you feeling your last doctor's visit as unacceptable and substandard. It sounded awful. Dee

Yes, thought it was weird, and funny at the same time. Makes me wonder if this means this next year we will all still be wearing masks? Depressing thought in this crazy world. Dee

Marg: Good you had electricity and water. I don't know the Bible very well, too many years since I went to Sunday School. I had hoped 2021 was going to be a better year for all of us, but am having some doubts so far. Will keep hoping the worst of winter is behind all of us. My sister in law who lives in Portland, OR, was excited about the predicted snow fall last time I spoke with her. Unfortunately, the predicted snow fall turned out to be a wind and ice storm. They were without power and water for a week, unable to flush since they are on a well. Fortunately they have a wood burning fireplace so kept warm by their fireplace. Do be careful when you go out. Warm hugs, Dee

Marg: When I saw the news the other day about Texas I was hoping you weren't getting ice and snow in North Louisiana. Do hope someone can bring you what you need until it warms up some. Stay warm and safe. Dee

I do get angry that I can't accomplish even 1/3 of what I used to do. I move so slow being sure I don't trip over something. Gone are the days when I could fill the big yard waste container in two days. It doesn't seem that long ago, but maybe I have forgotten how much I have slowed down. Now an hour outside shufflin around the yard doesn't reflect much of an accomplishment except in my head and achy bones. LOL My appointment went well, although it took longer than usual. The clinic has a new computer program so had to verify all the information pulled over from old system was correct. I guess this is just one more ever changing process in this world. I felt badly for some patients who were waiting in line safely socially spaced apart in the office while all had their information updated. Like me, on the old age side of the fence, it took an uncomfortably long time. I was glad I had remembered to bring my cane to lean on. On a lighter note, I thought it was funny, excuse my silly sense of humor, they included a photo in our file. Of course we did not remove masks. The good news is my next treatment has been scheduled out eleven weeks, instead of ten weeks. Dee

Gwen: So sorry to read your and others with this Medicare issue, etc. It would be so nice to think that after years of being employed, paying taxes, etc., that when we reach our elder years that we can't be sufficiently taken care of by a medical system. I was happy to see that the pharmacy discount card at least meets you halfway. It sounds like a card that my son discovered to help pay for his son's medications as my grandson's medications are pretty steep. The mother's medical covers grandson's health care, but my son has to share medication costs. Now that the snow is gone I made myself get outside and try to gather up some yard waste for next week's pickup. It was a damp, drippy hour working outside, but in spite of the mist, it did help make me feel I wasn't totally useless. My body is screaming in old age discomfort, and am trying to get myself talked into getting in shower to wash my hair. Tomorrow is a retinal specialist appointment. I will be picked up and driven by the sweet lady I used to hire to walk Maddie. After my eye injections, I can't see very clearly so I need someone to drive me. I was glad she was still available. Since the pandemic I have had my son or his fiance take me to appointments. I did learn her 88 year old Dad had been in hospital with COVID and she and her family came down with it back in December. They all survived and are doing well. The week started off on a sad note. One of my son's Labrador dogs had to be euthanized. Sasha was at least 16 years old. He is devastated of course and his other Lab, Nevada, is close behind age wise, and is missing her companion. We'd been dreading this day would come. I'm waiting for one more form before I can make an appointment for my taxes. Be glad when this week is over. I wish I wouldn't wish my life away. Still always, asking....Bob, why did you have to leave me here alone. End of my whine, whine, whine....... Hugs, Dee

No Gwen: Not wise for "wobbly older ladies" stepping in that much snow. I was somewhat thankful the snow fell on holiday weekend. Did not realize they had two days off. Dee

Yes, kayc, I use this system and since my street must be the last street on this mail route, many times it is dark (and raining) at 6 pm . If there is an important piece of mail, me and my flashlight will retrieve it, if not I wait until morning until I go to my mailbox for the multitude of advertisements. More importantly, my medications are mail delivered so it's nice to know when they are expected. Great service. Dee

Kevin: Your new home is really nice. Good to read how much excitement this new home offers you. Good luck in your upcoming move. Wondering if all the ice and snow will be gone before you begin moving in. Do hope so. Enjoy moving forward. Dee

BrianL: I am sorry your need to vent but it is so understandable to all of us here. We all know how painful it is when we lose our spouse/partner. I hope you will continue to come to this forum to vent, or to share your grief. I, too, am glad to see you have family around you to help you along this grief pathway. Take care. Dee

Sorry Karen: Am laughing not at you, but with you. At least you have a "fantasy" for saving your snow boots. Can't tell you why I'm saving mine. I really doubt if I could lift my feet if I could put them on. Keep that "fantasy" dream. Hugs and smiles, Dee.

Gin: Sounds like nothing else can go wrong for you. I am so sorry for your predicament. My first thought was your pipes could be frozen and started leaking, but at 11 degrees nothing can defrost. Yes, everything is so difficult being on our own without our spouse/partner. 😢 Hugs, Dee

I talked to my sister in law in Portland yesterday. They had had quite a bit of snow. Then, today my daughter who lives near Roseburg, OR, said it was 50 degrees there yesterday. While we were on the phone around 2 pm I could her rooster crowing, so asked if she was outside, she said yes it was still a nice day. Guess it just depends where you are and which way the cold winds blow. Hope you don't get too much snow, kayc. Dee

I haven't been outside with a ruler, but am guestimating about 4 1/2" on my deck rails. Yesterday at this time was only an inch, so overnight must have had 3 1/2 inches. I don't think we had much wind down here. It's up to 34 degrees right now, but was probably 28 degrees and snowing when I got up late morning. It has stopped snowing now, but more is predicted tonite, turning to rain tomorrow morning. As tired as I am with the rain, this year I'll take the rain. I can see kids and parents down the street playing near the hill where they slide safely. Brings happy memories of when my kids would spend most of the day out in the snow. Gwen, stay safe and avoid those hills if you go out. Still more than content to stay inside; with my balance, I'd fall over even if I could get my snow boots on. LOL Dee

Oh Gin, I hope you will soon be done with it. Can't imagine it being that cold with that much snow so long. Thinking of you. Dee

kayc: That's what I keep telling him after I say "simma down". Unfortunately, he made some past choices in his life that make him go 115 miles every waking hour. He thinks he doesn't have the time to slow down. I do worry about him though that he doesn't slow down more. Dee

Oh my Gin, so sorry you have been dealing with snow/ice for 2 weeks. Take care, and I promise not to whine about my 1" of snow and 28 degrees. Keeping you in my thoughts as you stay warm inside. Dee

Kieron, this sounds like such good news for your Dad, your Mom and yourself. Keeping you in my good thoughts as you "plod on". Dee

Gwen: I am beginning to feel maybe there is a reason I have hit so many obstacles where my move is concerned. Maybe it is meant to be this way for a reason that I haven't figured out yet. My son is more aggravated than I since he is just wanting to get it over with. Your feelings of us being served more bad luck than others...... I think since now we are left alone in our life, any kind of bad luck is magnified. Before, any bumps in the road were quietly, quickly solved. Now we have to struggle with each daily decision without input or help from our spouse or partner. I don't know about you, but I constantly doubt each decision I make, be it right or wrong. I long for the day when I can feel confident in myself. It would be nice to have that loving companion to hunker down with as the temps drop and the snow falls. I hope you can get out and be with folks over the next few days, I know you will be careful of the icy roads. At 5 pm when I was outside putting garbage out in front of my driveway, there were some light flakes barely sticking. Right now (11 pm) the temp is 28 degrees and probably an inch of snow on the ground. With my low vision, I can't tell if snow is still falling, but is looking pretty outside. You and Melody stay warm, Dee

kayc: So sorry to read you are still suffering with thrush. Keeping you in my thoughts as you face four more days of treatment and the predicted snow. I'm not looking forward to snow at all. We here in Tacoma are predicted maybe 3 inches. Gwen, living in Seattle, will probably have more. Even a slight dusting of snow and 30 degree weather is enough to keep me home, inside. So there goes my plans to continue moving a few more items into my new home. Oh well, can't wish it away. Take care, Dee

I totally understand, Gwen. My answer machine/phone was pretty old style so I could have probably replaced the tape instead of having a new message recorded. At the the time I wasn't thinking straight from the sudden loss. Now I would love to hear that recorded voice again. When I was cancelling Bob's cell phone account, I had hoped to keep his message on his flip phone. But, Verizion deleted the voice message. One of these days I will sit and listen to the videos we made during happier times. Your purchasing another telephone sounds like a good idea if your friend could help you connect it. Dee

Kieron: Sorry to read about your Dad's health and what you are facing with possibly moving your parents. The reality of such a major life changing task opens so many doors of pain and sadness. I am going through the reverse of where you are standing. My son has been in your position this past year dealing with preparations to move me, sell my home, downsizing, etc. Your parents, as well as I, are blessed to have a caring son to help us along this emotional path. Are you an only child or do you have siblings nearby ? I wish you the best as you face this enormous task and hope your Dad's health remains stable through all of this. Dee