widow'15

Cookie: What a beautiful baby boy and I love the name, Rio. You are a brave lady to take on a puppy. Have not been around poodles much, but understand they are a very bright breed. Your wanting to have shaken some of the sorrow and loss of John after a long time is understood. I really don't believe we ever shake the sorrow of loss, no matter what else comes into our lives. But, Rio may temporarily fill up some of that time when your heart is missing John. You and Rio have a Blessed New Year. Dee

Morning kayc: I live in Tacoma, WA - about 35 miles south of Seattle. The fir trees in my yard - 3 big ones - are constantly dropping cones, branches, limbs, etc. and there are many more in my neighbors' yard that know no boundaries. I try to think of them as my exercise program. Your home in Oregon sounds as if you are more in a wooded area. That's the kind of place my son lives about an hour away from me. Lots more trees on larger pieces of property. My daughter lives outside of Roseburg, OR where there are very few fir trees. Beautiful country, tho. Oh My Gosh: Would not know how to survive a computer problem of this magnitude. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Dee

Kevin: -4 F is refreshing? Oh my Goodness. ❄️ Am happy to see you are feeling better today, but don't over-do the shoveling. At least the sun has finally come out here in the Pacific Northwest today, with 45 degrees. My dog and I will have a nice walk and I will attempt to pick up as many fir branches in my yard as I can before the next wind and rain storms begin again. Have a Blessed New Year. Dee

Elly57: What a wonderful idea to re-purpose your Mom's and husband's special clothing into Memory Bears, such beautiful treasures. Your story makes me feel I should complete so many projects sitting untouched for so long. I don't have any excuses as I have long been retired but seem to make excuses why should I care. I know I should care if not just for myself to feel like I have some worth. Thank you for your inspiring story and for sharing your picture of your lovely daughters and their beautiful treasures. You are a special lady who will surely enjoy a wonderful retirement. Dee

kayc: Keeping you in my thoughts as you hit the road, driving in snow possibly - I totally don't like driving in the snow and ice at my age. I usually stay put at home. There used to be a time I would drive in ice and snow heading up to the ski area with three other ladies aboard. Oh my, how times have changed as the years have passed so quickly. Be safe and enjoy your family and have a Blessed Christmas. Dee

Oh, if that was possible Katie, it would be so wonderful. Please know you and your sweet family are in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs and Holiday Wishes to all of you. God bless you. Dee

Gwen: So sorry you went through another ER visit. You must be so exhausted. I am assuming you have to drive yourself to ER which can't be good in this awful gloomy, wet weather we are having. Seattle traffic would make me more than stressed or anxious. Being alone and unwell is not easy and especially this time of year. I know how you feel about decorating for Christmas. I did find the will to put up my silly driftwood tree and had my granddaughter decorate it a couple of weeks ago. But, hardly find the desire to plug the lights in. Daily, I turn on Christmas music hoping for more motivation. Kinda helps a little. Please know, you are in my thoughts and am wishing you warm wishes to stay well and find a little joy. Dee

Darrel: Thank you for your Holiday Wishes and yes, "One foot in front of the Other" - as hard as it is some days, I do keep trying. May you and your sweet fur baby enjoy your Holidays together. Dee

kayc: You sound like my husband. He loved the big trees and if I asked why don't we cut down the big one in our front yard so there wasn't so much upkeep from their branches, needles and cones on the house and yard. That was a useless question. LOL You are a good neighbor looking out for others by picking up the limbs in the road. 🌲 Dee

Gwen: Yay for good neighbors👏 Dee

Gwen: Noooooo - so sorry to hear you have bronchitis plus a fractured vertebrae. No wonder you are in pain. Was this the reason you were considering surgery not too long ago? Have you have been watching the weather, it's not looking too good for the next few days here in the Northwest. More rain and more wind predicted this coming week. About an hour prior to the windstorm Friday, my neighbor's landscape man blew off their leaves, fir needles and cones in the front of their house and being kind neighbors my driveway was attended to by the workers. Not much more than an hour later the windstorm hit and filled up the entire cul de sac again with needles, branches and cones. Oh the joy of living in fir tree country. I spent yesterday redoing what I could while hoping for a longer extension cord so not to have the drain at my driveway clog up when the predicted rains came today. Could barely walk I was so sore and stiff today. How many times I used to see my husband blowing off the drive and street with such ease. Thinking of you and hoping for some relief for you. Dee

Gwen: Oops, sorry I confused the fur babies. I seem to have to write EVERYTHING down to remember anymore. Today as I was walking my Maddie, I stopped to talk briefly with a couple of neighbors and had to smile and respond to their questions if I'm looking forward to Christmas. So hard to say, smiling, "yes". Anyway, am still hoping Ally is okay. It's no fun waiting for those blood work results. I can remember the first time I had to call AAA when the grand kids didn't shut the car door properly and the battery was drained. As I am rushing to go somewhere, I tried to start the car and that sickening grinding noise that told me the battery was not going to do anything. I could only cry until I realized, I had AAA. One more thing I never had to worry about having a husband to take care of those issues. Good for you, you had the auto club to come to your rescue. I only hope you weren't out during the horrendous high winds today in the Northwest. Hoping for good news. Dee

Jame: Sorry to read of your loss. I lost my dear husband in 2015 after we had accidentally discovered he had bladder cancer. Prior to his death he had no symptoms. Once discovered, he chose to have surgery to remove his bladder and continue the rest of his life as usual. The surgery created an infection and he had to return to the hospital. The night before he was to be released, he passed a blood clot and suffered a heart attack. I was blessed to have been married to him for almost 51 years, unlike you and your husband......so young and ready to enjoy all the plans you had made for your retirement. I am so sorry. I found this site and like you, read the encouraging words everyone shares and finally joined. It has helped me so often. Like so many will tell you, "Take One Day at a Time", or if possible, one minute at a time. Dee

Gwen: I read this note from you last night as I was getting ready to go to bed and did not respond with my concern for you and your Arlie at that time. I understand this fear you have for him at this stage of his sweet life. I did go to bed and offered up a prayer for you and Arlie. Am hoping the appointment went well. Thinking of you. Dee

Marg: You are blessed to have your family so close every day and I think I know what you are saying about "God left me here for a reason". I constantly wonder why am I here and just what am I supposed to do with myself. Everyday I ask myself why did God take my Bob from me when I need him so much. I know now I am not a complete person and was the closest to being complete when I was married to my husband. My two children are not always right here every day, but so far when I can't function they find a way to help me as best they can. I am thankful for that and try to remind myself there are so many of those who don't have anyone to help. I will disagree with you though, your words that seem to flow so easily, are not words of a person with a cold heart. You give me joy reading your "word salads". Gwen's willingness to volunteer has been a Blessing to many by showing them they are cared about. Dee

Gwen: So sad you have to endure the insurance company run around game. I am surprised you were able to get a real person to talk to. Seems anymore all that is available to one is a recorded voice repeating a multitude of options telling one to push #1, etc. Am hoping you can get this issue settled soon. I second your complaint of it being dark at 4 pm. The Pacific NW has been sunny recently but it is reaching the low 30's and 20's during the night which drives my achy bones crazy. I hesitate to complain to my doctor too much or she will prescribe some pain pill that will have worse side affects. If you need to vent - please do. As you can see from everyone's remarks, you are in our thoughts. Hope you can feel our support. Dee

Gwen: Sorry your were in ER again and know you must be somewhat relieved you are home in spite of being alone in such a time. Interesting that giving up nicotine can be such an ordeal on the body. I understand the withdrawal, but to think your lungs having to work harder can be an issue. Please know you are in my thoughts as you get over this hurdle. Dee

Gin: Glad to hear your grandson is back home and feeling better. Keeping him in my thoughts and prayers that another medicine alternative can be found. Dee

Gin: I hope your grandson is better this morning. When I was a child, my uncle who lived upstairs in the same duplex with my family would have seizures. Hopefully he is home once again. And this is my 4th one without Bob. I too am trying to get myself into some kind of Christmas Feeling. My Granddaughter will be spending the night with me on Sunday evening so I plan to have her help me decorate. I have what I call a "Christmas Memory Tree" which is a tree made out of driftwood that my mother in law created years ago - it's not a typical Christmas tree to say the least. The branches are wrapped in silver tinsel rope and small white lights and I hang my children's ornaments they made in grammar school (my kids are 50 and 44 yrs old now) along with other memorable Christmas ornaments and photos. My two grand kids get a laugh at their Father's artistic ability. I purchased a wreath from the Boy Scouts last weekend and it is hanging in my front entryway. So hard to push through the pain of the loneliness, especially this time of the year. Dee

Very well said Gwen. So very sorry for your recent loss CaptJack8642. Dee

Gin: So sorry you sound so frightened but understand your grief intensifying your fear. This being alone without someone to help us is so worrisome. Since you say you have power, just try to stay put and not get too anxious to get out. Thinking about you and hoping the storm is over. Dee

Gwen: I won't wish you a Happy Birthday, but I will wish you Birthday Wishes that you have a decent day tomorrow and maybe find a short period of time when you aren't in physical pain. I sympathize with you and your never ending pain. My daughter suffers with chronic back pain. She has had two back surgeries and every kind of pain medication to enable her to live her pain filled life. She has a friend that has a pain pump. Would this be something that might give you relief? I had never heard of it. Birthday Wishes - Dee

Katie: So very sorry for your family to be so ill. It seems like more challenges are everywhere for you and your sweet ones. Your Mom sounds so loving to be there with all of you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers. Dee

TomPB: Funny you shared this as this is exactly how I felt yesterday spending Thanksgiving Dinner with a neighbor. I did my best to be part of the kind neighbor's Holiday celebration and I am Thankful I was invited. But once back home I asked myself , "Really, who am I anymore?". At least now, I know I am not loosing my mind. Hopefully, I will soon have an answer. Thanks for sharing. Dee

Amy: Yes, do whatever gives you comfort. It has been three years since I lost my husband, I still wear my wedding ring. It's not that simple for some of us. Only you will know when it is time. I also wear his wedding band on my right middle finger. And, yes the waves will come without any warning. Take care of yourself. Dee