Widow2015

Home Ec. was one of my favorite classes way back in the 50's. I learned to sew on a treadle sewing machine in junior high school. Since my family were living on my Dad's income as a non-union welder/steam fitter, there was limited income in our household. My Mom sewed most of my school clothes and summer play clothes, mostly gathered cotton skirts paired up with cotton blouses from Sears, or two piece bloomer shorts with matching halter for summer wear. I don't recall her ever saying she learned to sew on a machine in school. I recall her telling the story after my parents bought their first home, she wanted drapes for the windows but was hesitant to try to sew them. My Dad being the welder/steam fitter he was didn't think cutting and sewing cloth material and making drapes could be any different than cutting out a piece of metal and welding it in the construction of a ship. They tackled that project that resulted in my Mom's draperies. Watching my Mom sew and my interest in sewing I tried sewing for my daughter but she preferred jeans and sweatshirts. I didn't work outside the home until my children were in grade school. Once I started working in an office, the time to sew became less and less. I was never an expert, although I did enjoy it. There was always that "mending pile" though. Wish I still had my sewing machine and decent vision, I know I could find some time now. I still have an iron and ironing board in the corner in my laundry room but haven't ironed anything l for quite awhile. But, sure used to do a lot throughout my life. When Bob was in the Army I would iron his fatigues, but gave that up cause I spent too much time and the results were less than satisfactory. The creases had to be straight and starched perfectly. When my 10 year old granddaughter was helping us pack my car to move some things she didn't know what an ironing board was used for. We all got a good laugh out of that remark. Times have changed for sure. LOL. 🤣 Dee

Gwen: So sorry little Mel has an injury. Will be hoping she will be fine right away. It's so upsetting to know they are stressed or in even slight discomfort. I can remember when I used to take Maddie to be bathed and trimmed. She would get so stressed I decided no more and kept her bathed and trimmed myself. She never looked as cute with my skills, but I didn't have to leave her distressed. I was a total wreck until I picked her up from the groomer. Hugs, Dee

kayc: Just got power back since last night @ 9:30 pm. Huge tree down the hill fell on a house, and the neighbors new pick up truck taking power lines down. At that time, no electricity so no internet, no tv; only had flashlights so went to bed. Had I had matches I could have lit a lone candle holder with a candle insert my son had thrown into a box as we were packing boxes. When I moved I made the decision to not bring any candles since I tend to be forgetful in my old age. Don't trust myself. LOL. By the time I found the lone candle, my son's family had gone to bed so could not get any matches from them. It must have been daybreak when a light came on in the kitchen. My son had wheeled over the little generator we purchased a couple weeks ago. I had electricity so the food in my refrigerator wouldn't be a loss and the rest of the day I had lights on and a radio for company. My son's house has a large stationery generator that takes care of his home which keeps the well going for both homes. This country living lends an interesting slant to my old age. Kayc, how do you do it? You are amazing. Dee

Gwen: No apologies required. I'm crying with you. 😪 You are doing the best you can, and that is all you can do. Sending positive thoughts all will work out for you and Mel. Hugs, Dee

Karen: What I have discovered in my downsizing and my two kid's desire to have a garage sale is this generation generally doesn't have much use for what my generation treasured or family memorabilia. My son's girl friend, my granddaughter's mother, prefers less costly "made in china" decor that she changes often depending on her mood. My granddaughter is being raised the same way. No chance of my passing on old family items so I will take them to donation sites now and stop worrying about the value to me. My daughter took a pair of scissors to her Madame Alexander doll giving her a haircut and eye lash cut. She never spent time playing Mommy. She preferred being out in the garage with her Dad. Dee

Gwen: I had a chuckle with your candy corn story. In memory of my dear Father In Law who loved candy corn, after he passes many years ago, I began to buy a bag in time for Halloween and filled a candy dish with it for all to eat. I began to enjoy it myself so much I would end up having to buy another bag by the time Halloween arrived. 🎃 Karen: You can imagine how many times I have grumbled to myself as I have tried to downsize my 51 year accumulation of "stuff" Bob and I collected. I am still downsizing even though I have moved. I have to rationalize that the reason we purchased or collected "stuff" is it gave us pleasure at the time. I fully realize so well now that all of the collection doesn't equal the lifetime I lost. My wish for you is that your Granddaughter will appreciate your love of the Native American Dolls, not so much the value, but the fact that you cared to save them for her. kayc: I totally agree with you. I only have basic channels and barely find anything I enjoy watching. I wouldn't be able to DVR without paying more each month and doubt if I could even learn. Ruby: Yes, each story of our partners and how we interacted with each are so different. I find it so interesting how their loss always focuses on the huge void created when they are no longer with us. Simply watching TV is no longer the same. Dee

Gwen: Good Dee is able to get together in person, "almost normal" is acceptable in my book. I would love to have a gem of a housekeeper like you do and I know the day is coming that it will be necessary. My 10 year old grand daughter has already informed me that she would love to clean for me. I have considered it, but right now I still have too many boxes to unpack and am still in downsizing mode. I have to push myself to do as much as I can or the body will quit sooner than it should. kayc: I had very little choice in getting a newer laptop. My 2007 was just too old. My new one is nice since it has a 17 inch screen so I can see easier, but it has too many bells and whistle I don't want to know how to use. I don't understand how your friend can still keep a medical appointment. Each time I go to my medical appointments I am quizzed if I have been around anyone with Covid. 🙄 Dee

Sorry kayc to read about your friend's Covid diagnosis. They have so much to be dealing with. Gwen: I have been watching the weather reports too and not looking forward to the predictions. I keep telling myself I hope the winds won't be too bad and cause power loss. The temperatures are "predicted" to remain fairly warm so won't worry about cold weather yet, only really wet and dark. Anymore, life seems to only offer "unbalance". Wednesday, I had to drive into my former part of town where I previously lived for two back to back appointments. The realization hit me that even though I knew which road to travel, the thought of the drive really concerned me. The feelings were telling me this could be the last disconnect from my "balanced past". As I drove back home, my brain kept telling me I was leaving a life that used to be, but can't be anymore. I had to fight the temptation to drive past the cute little white steepled church where we were married so many years ago. I passed on that urge knowing the "drive past" would create a flood of tears for me. I finally had to buy a new laptop. I am having a really tough time relearning and remembering sign on and everything required to navigate. Everything in my life requires a computer. More "unbalancing" .🤪 Keeping you and Mel in my thoughts. Dee

kayc: So sorry Peggy is now dealing with a stroke which you too are having to deal with. It never seems to end. I can't imagine how stressful this must be for you. Like Gwen said, little Kodie understands. Take care. Dee

Gwen: So sorry Mel won't be with you yet. I totally understand how you must feel having to delay her coming home. 😢 Hugs, Dee

Marg: Please know you are in my thoughts today. The anniversary days on that old calendar are so difficult. I actually gasped when I read you peeped into the boxes. You are a brave lady. Hugs, Dee

kayc: No, "not our Dee", but another Dee. I live just about an hour away from Gwen, but I don't drive to Seattle as much as I would love to be able to help Gwen, or any of you. I do second that, the "Seattle Dee" is an angel and it is amazing how she came into Gwen's life when she did. Gwen: Was happy to read your Doc thinks healing is progressing, and the extra pain pills should give you some relief even once a day. I have to agree with Karen and Kay you have to pat yourself on the back for making it this far. As difficult as it has been, you have done it. Wasn't clear if you have Mel now or will it be in 4 more days? Tears came to my eyes reading how you sat and ate while watching the seagulls. That's what I miss now that I have moved inland, seeing the Puget Sound, the Olympic Mountains and the noisy seagulls. It was just a 10 minute drive to be able to sit and remember what my life used to be prior to 2015. Hugs, Dee

Gwen: I wish there were something in Seattle like I use here in Pierce County, Pegasus Lifts, to transport me to my eye injection appointments. Although the vehicles are sedans, a van, they do have a wheelchair onboard if needed. My health issues are nowhere as severe and painful as yours, but I do understand your fears of not being an independent adult fighting our limitations. Keeping you in my thoughts as you prepare for another day. Hugs, Dee

Ruby: Am sorry you have had to join "the club". The loss of someone as dear as a spouse and then to lose your Mother so soon afterwards is unimagineable. Like all who have responded, I have found much support and companionship here in walking the long, confusing path of grief. We each have our own path to walk, but by sharing feelings here it seemed to give me the courage to keep going forward. The most important thing I learned is to only try to get through one hour at a time. The hours gradually turn into days behind you. Please know you are not alone, we understand, as we all "bumble along". Dee

George: Good to read you are doing well. You are an inspiration. Your last sentence says it all to me, now if I can just get it into motion. Continue checking in. Dee

Happy Birthday kayc and Kodie. Yes, such an honor to be able to celebrate your birthday together. Hugs to you both, Dee

Gwen: As kayc said, all back surgeries are not alike. I became somewhat educated on back surgeries when my daughter had her back surgery years ago. There is no way one back surgery can be compared to another back surgery. My sister in law seemed to have had a similar surgery and her recovery time differed from my daughter's. I wonder if the way the medical field writes pain medicines now could be the difference? Dee

Gwen: I attempted to have my primary doctor refer me to a PC physician in the same medical building as my dentist which is a sensible driving distance for me. But, I have yet to hear back for my request. I did receive an email this morning asking me to come in for a well check appointment. Not sure which clinic the invite was from, and decided since I was already waiting for two other calls for other necessary changes in my life, I decided I'd wait another day to research. Like you, I get weary of waiting for a human's voice to respond. I do hope you hear from your surgeon to address your increased pain. I understand why you "just don't care anymore" having to face so many issues. Looking for tomorrow to be a better day, although the weather is cooling down. Dee

Gwen: I understand your emptiness from being dependent for everything. That is so hard to accept under your circumstances. I still want to believe you will be able to recover some kind of life. It is so hard to find hope when the body is in such pain. Even though I am living close to my son I have those feelings of being such a burden and worry to him. I keep asking myself did I make the right choice moving out here so far away from a retinal specialist I trusted. I had someone dependable and a lot more affordable to drive me to and from my eye appointments; a primary care doctor I could drive to within 5 minutes, etc., etc. But then I have to again remind myself I had no other choice. That is what is so awful for each of us here, it seems the lack of choices. With our husbands, we had unlimited choices or at least choices we chose, not our situation making the choice for us. You are blessed to have friends and some support available in your own home. You made good choices in asking for their help. I hope I'm not over speaking with my rattled brain, but it feels like a blue Monday kind of day. Keeping you in my good thoughts, and feel free to "wallow". Hugs, Dee

So, so sorry Gwen. 😥Dee

Karen: Ouch. 22 floors.....impressive. Your hiking in the mountains were good training for that many stairs, unless climbing the 22 floors was training for walking the mountains and hills. Like memories of being loved and cared for by our husbands, the memories of the years of being young and able to enjoy life are all we have to smile about. I am sorry your health battle is having to deal with COPD. I hope it is manageable. Thanks for sharing. Dee

Gwen: I too remember when I used to easily walk the four flight of stairs where I worked. I always shied away from the "evil" elevator because it had a bad reputation of getting stuck between floors..... the building was an old converted school building probably built in early 30's. They eventually replaced the elevator, but I still didn't trust it. Now the stairs look like an accident waiting to happen. My new little home only has two steps that I navigate in reverse. 😁 Dee

Gwen: Reading your statement here makes me think your decision to face the surgery had to be the only solution to your dilemma in spite of your ongoing recovery pain. I find myself always questioning why I did "whatever" in my past but have to remind myself that the decision was based on the information I had at the time and try not to think there could have been another way. I can only do what I can do, and in my old lady way of thinking, I see you did what you had to do. I think you might think you made the wrong decision to do the surgery, but what else could you have done? I hope each day for you will be more bearable and your Mel will soon be with you. Hugs, Dee Oh boy, Karen is that statement ever true. On Monday I had a six month dental appointment. As I was standing in front of the elevator to take me up to the second floor of the medical clinic, a receptionist came up behind me with a sign to post on the door of the elevator that the elevator was not working. It has been years since I have been able to walk up that flight of stairs to the dentist's clinic. Not sure how long it took me to get up to the second floor but each step I took huffing and puffing upwards I thought, "I'm not as young as I used to be". Thank goodness, the elevator was repaired by the time my appointment was over so I didn't have to walk backwards down the stairs to the entry level of the building to my car. I don't trust my knees to walk forward down stairs. Not fun getting old. Dee

Gwen: As I'm writing it's my big hope you are getting settled in your home and finding you will meet your challenge and gradually find solutions to the problems as they arise. One positive thought, the surgery is behind you now and you can look forward to being totally recovered. Keeping you in my thoughts. Big hug, Dee.

Ditto. Dee