Margm

My daughter will take me for the cataract surgeries. Scott is bipolar and would take me, but he hates to get out of his house. Knows he has to make a trip back to his doctor but puts it off. They insist someone go with me on trips, so I usually just don't mention it and then slip off. Around this area, I go by myself or have to carry my sister to all her appointments. I still see fine to drive, except at night. Heck, I read a 400+ page book starting in morning of one day this week and finished at 3:30 a.m. It was one Karen had recommended and was a good one. I've read a seven series group of books; each one was between 300-400 pages and the other book since starting of January. Would rather read than watch TV. Reminds me of my grandmother (not knowing she had cataracts), lived way in the country and the Bookmobile came by her country store. Her vision was bothering her, and she said if she could not read, she'd just as soon be dead. The "city aunt" knew it was cataracts and many years ago they got that taken care of, so she did read up until her death. I always thought it strange, my grandmother, my mom, and me too would start a book and if it was good and had to put it down, we'd read the last chapter (suspense). If the book was good, and they usually are, we'd pick back up where we left off and finish the book. My family do not like to know the ending ahead of time, so we don't do "spoilers" for them. Most do not read though. (Can, but not interested in books.) I'm glad I was born before TV's.

I copied what Kevin said. Sometimes my computer skills are a big zero. Sometimes minus zero. I went to Walmart and have never seen so many people in any season. All the surrounding areas had cabin fever too. Thank goodness my bodily functions behaved themselves for hours. I'm so proud. But I will bring a change of clothes for the cataract removal.

"Woke up to Minus 18 this morning(wind chill minus 26) Good news both vehicles started without an issue...My weathermans credibility has come under question but he is adamant warming big time next four days....supposed to shuffelboard tonight, plan on attending." Well Kevin, if you're brave enough to get out in that kind of weather, then I think I will force myself to take the trash out in 33+ degrees weather (later in the day, will be warmer.) Have to, us two women make more trash than a family of 10.

Oh I have garbage. Bags stacked in entrance hall. Have not been to my car since Sunday. This is not Eugene, Oregon, this is Louisiana. I'm a flatlander. If I make it to summer, I will buy rock salt for the sidewalks. It is overcast, no sun. My daughter and sister are both sick and I need to get outside like I need a broken hip. If this stuff melts, I have to go to store. Just 175 miles up the road is my little Canada, called Arkansas. Glad to get out of those winters. Cannot go to a doctor, urgent care or wait in a waiting room full of sick people in the ER. One connotation of the term (catch 22) is that the creators of the "catch-22" situation have created arbitrary rules in order to justify and conceal their own abuse of power. Sister and daughter both need one of their many doctors. Can't get in. My daughter is on polypharmacy and one is causing a yeast infection in her mouth. I used to think I could move mountains, now I cannot get to my car, and dangerous to drive if I do. Black ice is prevalent.

I shouldn't fuss with all your weather problems. We were warned. It was slow coming, but everything covered with snow, and it is a gray dawn with white probably an inch or more, know how little that is compared to the North's problems. According to news, it is everywhere in the ArkLaTex. Hope we can reschedule my sister's doc appointment tomorrow. Her apartment is in a hollow and you have to climb up and slide down. Going to try to reschedule. The way it is, the staff might not even come in. My sister is a stickler but called me at 11:00 p.m. to give me three appointments I did not have on my calendar. This chemo is tough on her beautiful mind. I am not being sarcastic, it hurts to see this, and what hurts the most is she is aware of it. I am 10 years older than her.

It is 30 here right now. Supposed to get colder and probably ice and snow. We can't have one without the other. Got groceries this morning, gonna just stay in. Maintenance man left note on all the doors to leave water dripping. I did.

If it is dead end, head toward the beginning and take him up main road unless it is a busy highway. A dead end is just that. Walk him around your house 2-3 times. It's tough when you do not have access to walking space in a country lane.

I like that idea. Also new can of wasp spray will hit them directly in the face. We had a pump in the country. I was not a good housekeeper; Billy was not a good home keeper. We matched perfectly. Did w/o electricity for 6-7 days. We had a pond Billy and Scott would slide down the hill to, to get water for the commodes. We had followed a snowplow home (Louisiana girl had never seen a snowplow), this was in small mountains of Arkansas. Billy and Scott both hurt their backs sliding down the hill, and getting back up was hard. It was an ice storm and then a snow storm over that. I did not like playing Jeremiah Johnson. Left as soon as we could. I'm sorry about all the cold. It is 38 here, supposed to get in the 40's. That is cold for us. Kay, I cannot imagine the pain you have to go through picking all the limbs up with your hands all broken up. We had a bad dog once; he was a hunting dog. We used hair spray to ward him off us until he took the can away from me. He was gone soon after. We put him in the house to get the meter's read. Kelli had a new pair of shoes, and he headed right for them and took a poop right in them. She threw them away. He was a Chesapeake Bay retriever and too big for us girls. Billy had shopped and paid a lot for him. He gave him away. They are not supposed to be of that temperament. I think I'd pick another route to walk. Or take a spray with you.

Our apartments were built in the 1970's, I think. Lots of repairs needed, but it got best apartment house in yearly voting in local newspaper. I do know if it breaks, they fix it. It is plenty warm for me, but cold to my granddaughter whose thyroid system is out of whack even with medication. Electric bill was over $80 from the last month's bill. We do what we can, but like I told our maintenance man, if my light goes out, I'm not climbing one of my "Rubbermaid" ladders. He says, "that is why I am here." I think they closed our beautiful, assisted living apartments (I'm sure very expensive,) and the people had to find somewhere else to live. Something about needing many repairs, I think. I feel very lucky I'm not leaving a country that was my home for another country that does not have room or the demands it takes for 10,000 people crossing in a day's time. How terrible their country must have been to walk so far to a place that obviously maybe is a place of more danger. We learn to be thankful for what we have and what we want is out somewhere we cannot go. (I have what I want). Except minus Billy. Puts what we want into a different perspective. I'm warm.

You live in one place all your life, you know how to prepare for it, even tornadoes. Our weather is so iffy it is sweater morning, sleeves afternoon, sweater evening. Y'all try to stay warm. You sure know it better than southern flatlanders.

You and I like pretty much the same kind of books, if I remember correctly. I love reading about "north country" homesteading." (I just ordered it for my Kindle). Thanks. It really gets good reviews. I've had many, many years to get used to my dentures. The bottoms get aggravating sometimes, but I'm not going to break in any others, unless these breaks. Good reading to you. At least we can travel with our imagination.

I tried to leave a picture, I did leave a picture, it was too small to read. I just wanted to WISH YOU ALL A HAPPY NEW YEAR, better than the last.

Well Kevin, I will think of you going through the same thing then. I'm the chauffeur so I have to have good eyes. I've said this so many times. My grandmother loved to read. It kept her alive after my grandfather passed away. I read probably at least seven books a month. At least. My grandmother did not know about such things as cataracts. My "city" aunt took her to the eye doc and got her fixed up for at least another 20 years. She had said "If I can't read, I would just as well be dead." I know how she felt. Y'all keep warm up in that north country. Thanks for the company. Good luck with yours. Your much younger than me, but I've needed it done for a long time. I am totally a coward.

I don't really feel that way. I've just told everyone January (or most of it) is mine. Got to get the eyes fixed or I cannot do anything. I've mentioned this many times before, probably, but an author said something we all know not to be true, his being terminal, he knew it, but it hits home. “Everybody has got to die, but I have always believed an exception would be made in my case.” William Saroyan. And in my case, we are our "brothers" keeper. Especially when she has no one else. Her little apartment has to be cleaned. It has to pass inspection and I realize people who smoke cannot smell cigarette smoke anymore. She is not supposed to be smoking in her apartment. I bought her cigarettes last two weeks and she goes through more than a pack a day. I have someone to clean her apartment, she has done it before and is very meticulous. My sister "fired" her the last time because she "talked too much." A very sweet woman, in her 50's who lost her husband at a younger age. My sister didn't tell her she talked too much but does not want her again. I finally just told her to find someone. A place advertises for $19 and I'm sure that is per hour, but my sister won't be paying for it. The manager likes her, and if she throws her out, I have no idea what I am going to do. I do not have the money to rent her a place and no government homes will accept her. And, she has a cat. I just talked to her, and she took out six bags of trash, she is not worried. Billy always told me if I didn't have something to worry about, I'd hunt until I found it. I miss him. The years are nothing but a holding pattern.

Family problems can really bring down the holidays. We've fought my sister's cancer for 15-16 months now. I bought her car. Did not want to but she needed the money, after the wreck (woman ran stop sign) my car was totaled. Either the chemo or family curse has affected her mind, and she keeps wanting to use the car. I take her, nearly every day, and the social workers have advised her not to drive. I feel guilty, would not have chosen a sedan, but again, she needed the money, we have to have a car (and I am her chauffer). Her beautiful mind is affected, and she realizes it. And I feel guilty. Granddaughter has become a problem I cannot talk about, but if they allowed me to drink, I would keep Mogan David Blackberry handy. I guess it is good they won't let me. (I only used to like sweet wine.)

Have a good Christmas everyone.

If I did that the mailman would report it and I'd have a couple of police or ambulance people doing a "wellness check." I had that happen the first week after Billy left. Earphones on, reading till 2:00 a.m. and woke up with flashing lights. Two police cars (at least) (county and city) and an ambulance with lights all flashing. So, I bedhead went to the door just as they were to knock it down. I quit using ear plugs after that. (My family had tried to call me over and over). Do not enjoy being "on my own" but I'm not really. Just like an "Amber alert" would be done if I was a kid, now a "silver alert" will be done if I do not report where I will go. I missed the time between school and marriage and jumped right into marriage, which I do not mind having done. Well, gotta take my sister grocery shopping now, it is three days before Christmas. I live in a small (about 12,000) population city but they all come to Walmart and Brookshires at the same time. You all be safe. Karen, I had time to get used to my dentures, because of small tumors on the roots of my teeth, they were (cut out) pulled many years ago. (I was 19). Tumors were benign but had eaten the roots away. The body does many strange things. Just keep gnawing away. I had an uncle-in-law that even ate ice with his gums. I hope you all have a healthy Christmas.

I have had so much frightening things happen to me and it all involves me getting naked. That is not a pretty picture. I am so scared of the cataract surgery; just promise me I don't have to get naked.

No sweet Karen, we never stop counting.

Hope you are doing better Kay. I think we all suffer from "seasonal depression" at this time of year. My son, who is bipolar, has suffered from it for as long as I can remember, and me, well I feel like the Grinch. The thing is to remember the reason for the season, and not gifts and tinsel. I think my nephew is fixing a Tex/Mex meal at my son's house. Kelli is stuck to the bed most of the time. Her "Energizer Bunny" wakes up about once a week. My sister is slowly losing it. Hard for someone with so many degrees to accept that chemo has robbed her of so many things. She has her life, but after 14-15 months of chemo is only going twice a month now. And we are "our brother's (sister's) keepers" when they have no one. I signed up yesterday to be her "go between" for her Medicaid. We got it renewed on a 3-way call. She holds onto mail and "plans" on answering, but it is only added to the stack of mail. She read me one on the phone where she was cut off Medicaid. She has to have it. Guess I do not feel too Christmy. I think I made up that name. At 81, I have made it where I do not have to remember some things. We get so much mail that we need to ignore and some we cannot ignore.

One of the young girls from another country did not know what "knock on wood" meant. I think she may have met our teacher friend from Arizona, (not sure of anything.) I hope they are happy. Hope our Hawaii and Arizona woman and fellow are making a go of her restaurant. Lots of memories. Anyhow, I will "knock on wood" because this ole body does not need anything else to happen. I know everyone says the cataracts are easy and results are great, but since last hospitalization 10 years ago, I am afraid of everything. Still get my checkups and blood work done every four months. Still good results with the starch diet being the only one this old radiated body can handle, and shots, not pills for the antibiotics, and another "knock on wood." Enough action happens in my family, do not have time for "me." My anxiety chases off all bugs and viruses, I guess. Even a termite does not want to invade a fence post that can only stand against the wind. I did decorate my patio and went to plug it in and the receptacle would not work. Michael (our "fixer") was here Monday morning as soon as I called. Beautiful 4-foot white flocked tree with pine cones flocked and white lights. I put little red shiny pinecones all over it. It is very pretty, but I miss the cedar ones from the woods, cut down and stuck in the corner with tinsel and old saved glass trimmings. I do have the Grinch climbing over the fence and it has stayed for two days anyhow.

We are missing a lot of people. Sometimes I think the holidays bring us down. Gin has not been on in awhile. Dee, and a few more. Gwen, of course, that is a big mystery.

I have the largest patio of any of the apartments. I never go out there. It is covered with a privacy fence I can only see over by standing on tip-toes. Going to look for my Rosemary small "tree" to put on the table. We get a new tree every year. I am going to put outside lights all along the top of the fence and ordered the Grinch below. The fence looks like what he is "climbing over" and probably won't stay long as people are prone to steal things, if they like them, from private yards, automobiles, etc. It is teenagers and I live in a "safe" part of town. Does not matter though. I'm more like my grandma, no small children around, Billy was our child at Christmas, and I hate presents. I am going to take shadow boxes and put the fishing flies that he would sit and make as a hobby to each relative. I only like lotions as a gift, and Kelli already gave me a pair of Sketchers slip on's. Brianna is with her boyfriend and his family more than here, but she is 24, so she is flying the coop. I feel empty nest syndrome all over again.

Hope you get to feeling better. Y'all have some cold days, but I guess that makes Christmas. Sounds like you needed to stop off at an urgent care to at least get meds. Stay 25 feet away from Iris. She sounds as self-absorbed as the friend of Gwen's. Sure wish we could get word to her that we miss her. Haven't put up Christmas. Went to see my cousin. Long time. He has had strokes, broken hip they don't dare do surgery on. He stood from his wheelchair to hug me. Still looks like the little boy of so many years ago. He is a year or so older than I am. Still has his dark hair. Billy's last sister passed away in NM. Her husband passed less than a month ago. Seems very sad season, but I thought of Billy welcoming her to Heaven. I almost could see it.