lyn

William, Symptoms of hypoglycemia can vary but most of the time it will make u nervous, irritable, weak and tired. I am glad u called your doctor. Being on this forum helps me a lot too.. Corinne, U made me laugh when u talked about deep breathing and hyperventilation. I can imagine you. Yes, when u inhale deeply through your nose,u should hold your breath for 4 seconds, then exhale slowly(by pursing your lips) counting for 4 seconds too. Just do it 5x. I am glad u are feeling better now.

Reading the new posts brought so much joy to my heart. I am proud of u guys..i hope we will continue to be gentle with ourselves.

I hope u are feeling better now Derek. My weekend is fine..just another day. Please get plenty of rest and eat healthy food to build your resistance against illness. My prayers are with u..

William, I am just concerned. Hypoglycemia is much more dangerous than hyperglycemia, it may lead to shock/ coma if not treated properly. Just want to remind u that u should eat something everytime u take ur diabetes meds. Your blood sugar shot down to 57..this is really low. I think, the effect of medicine appear in the early morning. I advice that u talk with your doctor/ dietitian about this. They can suggest a regular meal plan for u. Managing diabetes is not difficult as long as u follow a strict dietary plan. Btw, do u have type II diabetes?

DoubleJo, I am so sorry, but grief is really an exhausting journey. I had my share of accomplishments after he was gone, but i couldnt find joy in them. I feel so empty knowing that he will not be able to see me achieved them. I feel so bad again remembering it, i badly wanted to share it with him, to make him proud of me..my heart is breaking again. I hope u find peace today Jo, we are always here for u. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dusky, U have a beautiful message.. "Although we still cry at the reminders of what has been lost, we also are grateful for the time they gave to us. Although the pain never goes away – thank God for the sweet memories that also remain." Thank u for reminding us about this. I will forever be grateful that i have experienced that kind of love. The sweet memories will remain forever.

Dear Teny, Love can never be destroyed by death. There is a poem here that they have posted before and would like to share it with u again.. Now that I am gone, remember me with smiles and laughter. And if you need to cry, cry with your brother or sister who walks in grief beside you. And when you need me, put your arms around anyone and give to them what you need to give to me. There are so many who need so much. I want to leave you something -- something much better than words or sounds. Look for me in the people I've known or helped in some special way. Let me live in your heart as well as in your mind. You can love me most by letting your love reach out to our loved ones, by embracing them and living in their love. Love does not die, people do. So, when all that's left of me is love, give me away as best you can. -- Author unknown As what Bob said, dont be afraid to ask questions. Focus your energy on activities u enjoy, i have seen your works in the website u posted here and they are beautiful. Nurture your talents, and be gentle with yourself. We are here for u, and we love u..

Dear Shelley, It's been a while since ive last seen u here, i am sorry u are having a hard time now. I dread the coming of holidays too..and wish i can just block them away from my thoughts. Keep coming back here, we care for u..

just want to share this poem ive read.. Scarred People Are Beautiful Man speaks: I've been hurt, Lord. I have trusted and been betrayed at times. I have loved and received nothing in return. I have tried hard to care and failed often. I have shared my secrets and, heard them whispered to others. I have been warm and received a cold shoulder. I have been through it, Lord. I've fallen on my face. I've banged my shins. I've been bruised. Look, Lord, I'm all covered with scars! The Lord Speaks: Maybe you haven't understood enough. Maybe you haven't learned that human life is like that. All saints are scarred. Young love isn't the highest form of human love. The greatest love comes from scarred people. I know that many people stop loving so they won't be hurt again. But those people who do start over again, who continue in spite of all, who leave themselves open to the possibility of being hurt again -- These people are able to love again in a deeper way, a more understanding way, a richer way. Man's response: I think I know what you mean, Lord. I've met people like that and knowing them gives me courage. The great people are those who continue to love with their scars. I like scarred people, Lord. They are beautiful.

I am so sorry that u are feeling so bad right now. I will keep u in my prayers that God will continue to give u and your family strength and courage each day.

William, i hope u are feeling better now and hope u are taking your meds regularly. Allow yourself to feel all those emotions, cry if u must, crying has such a healing power. In my case, i have learned to control my thoughts everytime i feel depressed and lonely, it is what u called 'thought-stopping'..u stop it before it consumes u..i noticed it works for me, and hope it will work for u too. Yes, stress has a way of worsening some of our physical ailments. Engaged yourself in some activities like walking, exercising or a simple deep breathing exercises.. Take care..lyn

Thank u Karen, and i feel that i have an angel all the time to push me up. He is my angel and I can feel that he is smiling up there now, he can see me, and he always watches over me. I will live by his example. He had a beautiful heart, had touched and inspired so many lives... God bless u too Karen, u have always been an inspiration to us here.

Waabzy, i am happy for u. Looks like yukon is a beautiful,cuddly and exciting companion. And u have unique names for your dogs too, i wonder what are their meanings.. Take care..lyn

I did not mean to offend anyone here, and if i did, i am sorry. It is hard for me to make that affirmation of not allowing suffering to defeat me, but everyday i am trying. It is the only way to keep my sanity..it is the only way for me not to give up. I dont believe in LOA too, but by trying to think positively, it has helped me a lot in dealing with my pain. Like most of us here, my faith had been shaken drastically when the person i love so much died. I questioned God, i blamed Him, and it was so hard for me to pray on those days. Until now, i still couldnt understand why bad things happen to good people. I know myself, i know i lived a good life, i am not perfect, but i try to live a good life, yet what happened to me is beyond my understanding. I have seen so much ugliness in this world, i have seen so much violence yet i dont understand why the good people die young. And most of the time, i couldnt help saying, why not them? why did u choose to take the one person i love most, when there are so many murderers, killers in this world. For the past four months, i was groping in the dark, i questioned my belief, however it is also my faith with God that helped me through those months. I wake up each day, i go on with my task each day, but couldnt find meaning in what i am doing. Last month, i went to another country hoping it will help me heal, i thought the change of environment will heal me..but everything feels so empty. I realized that no one can help me but myself. I had to admit to myself that this is what life is...life has its share of sorrows and joys. It is how we deal with it that matters. I have never accepted his death yet. I acknowledged all these feelings i have gone through -- shock, denial, disbelief, numbness, anger and bargaining...i am at the point right now, where i will trade everything i have, all the years i have in my future just to spend one day with him. it is so hard, it is still very painful, but i have to assure myself that in the end everything will be ok. As Derek told me, in our suffering, we only see part of it, but God sees the whole picture. I may never understand the reasons for my sufferings, yet i have chosen to turn this experience into something that will help me, and in a way will help others too. i have chosen to start living my life again no matter how hard it is.

Thanks Kayc, it is really hard, but i am trying. Our mind is very powerful, i think if we think positively, we will also attract positive forces. yes, easier said than done..but we should at least try. There is no one who can help us but ourselves. I woke up one morning and realized that i can choose whether i should continue wallowing in self pity and be consumed by my grief or i can choose to learn from this pain, to grow from it, to see it as a nourishment for my soul, to show compassion to others, and to inspire them. I chose the latter. I tell myself that right now, i am in the lowest moment of my life so there's no way for me to go but up. i believe that life and the universe itself has its way of maintaning homeostasis. we can never stay down forever. It is a real hard journey, i may stumble but with God's help, i will be able to lift myself up again. Have a blessed day to all.

Can i join with the BBQ party too? i couldnt resist bbq and chocolate...we all need a good company tonight..

will keep u in my prayers erica..pls stay strong. lori, regarding ur neck problem, i usually have that when i am under a lot of stress too. it is really bad. but stretching exercises can help a lot..it will relax the muscles of your neck.

I do believe that God is with us through all our sufferings. Whether we get angry with him, or we blame him, He is always there, He listens to us and carries us through our sufferings. Death and pain are part of life, as well as birth and joy. Today, i affirm to myself that i will never allow sufferings defeat me. I will grow from it..i will learn from it..I will allow myself to see the beauty of life again. I know it will be very hard, but i will try my best to start living my life..to live it well in honor of the man i love so much.

Christian, Do what u feel is right. I think it will be good if you and your sister will talk with him, maybe it will also clear some issues.

i am amazed at how u handled the situation derek..not letting it ruin your weekend. hope u continue to inspire us more. welcome back.

"..one crucial step in your healing is that you have to decide to live. That's where I'm at right now ... deciding to go forward in a hopeful way, even though I never feel like it and often feel very much unlike it." How do u decide to live, when all the reasons for living were taken away from u? I feel we dont have a choice but to get on with each day. I wake up each morning with a very heavy heart, always wondering, why am i still breathing, why am i still alive? it takes all my willpower to encourage myself to face the day, and most of the time, all i can pray is "God pls help me get through this day..". I have to repeat to myself over and over again that i have survived yesterday, i know i can do it again today. I hope i will have the energy to live life again. all i feel right now is deep sadness..i dread the coming of this weekend..all the memories keep coming back, all im praying is for me to be numb again..to feel numbness just for this weekend. this is really terrible... thanks for listening, i hope this will pass too..

Dear Dawn, Like u, i am also on my 4th month. I couldnt help myself from feeling angry too...i want to scream..i am so tired of feeling this pain. People will see me smile, it is so hard to pretend that i am ok when deep down, i am falling apart. Everyday i have to remind myself to keep going, everyday, i have to push myself to wake up, to face the day, to eat my food and do what i am supposed to do yet the heaviness in my heart does not subside. They say it will get better in time, and that's all i am hoping. Yes, there will always be pain, but everyday, little by little i am adjusting to live with it.. the pain will never go away. i hope someday i will be able to understand the reasons for all of these. I just feel so bad tonight too. Hope we will all get through this..Will be praying for u and ur mom.

Loving someone deeply and losing him suddenly is the most painful thing that happened to me. By accepting the pain, we are on our way through healing, though it will take time. It is normal to go through the different kinds of emotions, and it is always a roller-coaster ride. One day, u are feeling a little better and the next day, it will get worse again. I was told once that the reason i am hurting deeply is because i have also loved deeply. Yes, it is true, i have loved deeply, have loved with all my heart. Be thankful that u were given the chance to spend the last few days with your husband together, to tell him how much u love him. I was deprived of the chance of being with him, but we both know in our hearts how much we love each other, and this is what encourages me to keep going, to honor him by trying to live my life well. You know in your heart that u have done all your best to keep him alive. Your husband will never want u to feel guilty in any way. Right now, all we can do is to take each day one day at a time, not to expect anything, not to think of the future. Keep expressing your emotions, write a journal, cry, it will help a lot. I will be praying for u and your children morpalicious.

Dear Nathan's sister, I am very sorry for your loss. I want to reach out and give u a hug and comfort u. I am also on my 4 months, and we almost have the same story. I have gone through lots of emotions..pain, anger, sadness, but numbness sustained me through the past months. I wish i can say that it will get better as day passes by, but in my case, the pain lingers on. I will keep u and your family in my prayers, and i wish someday we will be able to find peace. Please continue to express how u feel, it will help a lot. Being on this site keeps me going, and gives me comfort in my darkest hours.

Dear Erica, I hope u are feeling better now. You have my prayers. I have been going through a lot of emotions too. Tonight, i feel so bad i couldnt stop the tears from flowing. I am looking at my wrist, looking at my pulse thinking if i slash my wrist, then tomorrow i wouldnt be here, and i wouldnt feel the pain anymore. But as always, i know i could never do it, i couldnt take my own life for the main reason that i will end up in hell and my beloved and i will not be together in the afterlife. I couldnt bear not to be with him again. So, i dont have a choice but to live this life each day, going with the flow of life, not expecting anything. I feel like just existing not living..i feel so numb, i feel so tired. It is almost my 4 months now, yet the pain is still so deep. I hope all of us here will soon find peace and healing and see the beauty of life again.

Dear WaltC, I just want to say that i am glad to see u today on this site. It's been a long time that i havent been on this site too, and last night i read ur post about u staying away for a while and felt saddened by it. U have helped and inspired so many people on this site, including me, and i want to express my gratitude. Please take care. lyn