lyn

I am also feeling terribly sad and depressed tonight. I have not been on this site for a long time, went to another country hoping it will help me heal, but everyday i feel numb, i feel so empty, and most days it hurts so bad, i am cursing God and fate for being so cruel. why are we not given the chance to be together? is it so wrong to love each other so much? oh god, i would do anything just to have one day with him. when will this pain ends?

Dear Pamm, I truly understand how u are feeling right now. We have almost the same story, my eyes are filled with tears and sadness as i read this..all the memories came flashing back all over again. It hurts so bad. It is my 3rd week now, and it is not getting better for me. Everyday, it feels like im walking in a fog, sometimes, i feel too numb to feel anything, but most of the time the pain is too unbearable that i often wish i died with him. I have asked too many 'whys'..but still i couldnt find the answer. His death is so sudden, i feel so broken, so lost, and hurting too much. I still couldnt accept that he is gone. Please take good care of yourself, i know it is hard if you are hurting so much, but we have too. I am angry with God, yet it is my faith that keeps me going through this deepest sorrow now for i know someday we will be together again.

Dear Shelley, Isn't it wonderful that u have a niece who loves u so much? Children always have their unique ways of expressing their love. I remember, i got the most loving comfort from my 3-year old nephew when i was still waiting for some news about the status of my beloved husband's health. i was very very scared and anxious. i told him to come to me and if he could give me a hug, he willingly embraced me tightly and showered me with kisses...

dear Shell, I am very sorry u have to go through all these. I am sending u hugs and prayers to give u strength on this very difficult time.

Dear Dolores, I am very sorry for loss of your son. I pray that God will continue to give u strength and sustain u each day. The death of our loved one changes our lives forever, but i do believe that they are always with us. Sean is always with u..

Dear Geri, Please feel free to express yourself on this site..it helps a lot to unload all those emotions. There are a lot of caring people here who truly understand what we are going through. Somehow, someday, we will also be able to find our way through this journey.

Thank you for sharing your poem with us. His love will continue to sustain me in the long lonely days ahead..and will always keep with me all our 'memories of green'..

couldnt stop the tears from flowing as i read ur replies. i am 28, and yet i never would have imagined living my life without him, i love him so much, he is my soulmate and we have built our future together..only looking forward to spending the rest of our days together. i feel a little better knowing that his legacy will continue to live on..his family will sponsor some scholarships for underprivileged children. oh, i can imagine him smiling from heaven now. i will always see him in the eyes of those persons whose lives he touched. i love u baby..and i am so proud of u..we will be together someday.

Your poem says it all, and i am only looking forward to the time that i will be reunited with him. every night, i wish that i could go too, but felt disappointed when i wake up in the morning and realize that i am still alive. i dont want to take my own life for i know that if i do that then i will be in a different place. Please know that u are in my prayers too..and hope someday we will be able to get through this.

thank you karen. last night before i sleep, i kept telling him over and over again if he could visit me in my dream. i am glad he did, this is the second time he came in my dreams since his death. those two dreams were so clear, i remember everything, i remember his clothes, what we did, and in those dreams, we were always holding each other's hands so tightly. we have a very special bond, he is my soulmate, i have waited for him all my life to come into my life, we shared a very sincere and deep love. i still couldnt fathom God's reason why we were not given the chance to be together..

it is very hard, it is my 3rd week too. everyday, it feels like there is a big lump on my throat, and i couldnt control myself from crying. most of the time, i wish that i died with him, so i will not be able to feel this terrible pain i am feeling. yes, i am taking it one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time.. i dont know how long i can hold on. the wound is just too deep..

couldnt stop thinking what is in afterlife. i think there would be so much peace there, only love exists, no jealousy, no hatred, no sickness, no pain. it would be so wonderful to be there, to be reunited with my beloved husband. i miss him badly..

http://www.inspiringthots.net/movie/grave.php

im praying for all of us here.. http://www.inspiringthots.net/movie/serenity-prayer.php

Thank you for your support and prayers. This site and all the wonderful people here has been helping me a lot as i read through their different responses. May God be with us always on this very difficult journey.

hi kayc, i am praying for u right this minute.i am sending u my hugs and support... u have helped and inspired a lot of people in this site. i have read a lot of ur posts, and u have inspired me to keep going. i want to thank u from the bottom of my heart. please hang on, hopefully everything will be ok soon. we all have days where everything is not going right, we feel overwhelmed. these days, it is a struggle for me to get out of bed, my faith was shattered, i feel numb, i feel lost, i am so broken and i feel like a robot going through the routine each day, i feel like my life has no meaning at all when i lost my dearly beloved husband and bestfriend 2 weeks ago, everytime this phrase encourages me..'just one day at a time'. and i say a simple prayer, 'God please help me get through this day.' May God be with u always.

i find it very hard to pray these days. My faith was terribly shaken when my beloved husband died last week. i come across this prayer in the book, 'praying our goodbyes' by joyce rupp. saying this prayer again and again is helping me in some way. i hope this will also help all of u. we are all going through this difficult journey, and i found comfort reading the posts here..May God bless us all and give us strength to sustain us through our sorrow. I take my loved one by the hand and lead her(him) to u, God of Love. Here is ______(name). Accept my love and thanksgiving as I entrust her (him) into your loving care. I want ______to be free to be at home with you. I ask that you save a place for me there beside her (him) and that you be my loving presence in all the lonely moments that await me. I ask that you fill me with motivation and energy in the days ahead when i feel like giving up; remind me often of my true homeland when I am caught up in the desolation of the journey. Help me to find joy in the people, events, and the beauty of nature which surround me. Thank you for the gift of ______ in my life. I want to believe that we will celebrate the treasure of our love again, when we are both in your presence forever. May this truth sustain me in the days to come. Take my sad and aching heart and comfort me. Comfort me, for I can only feel hollowness and emptiness. God of sorrowing, draw near. Amen.

today is exactly 1 week since my beloved husband died. the pain is so fresh..but most of the time, i feel so numb. i struggled each day to wake up. we have shared so much, shared our lives, our thoughts, our dreams, our deepest feelings, next month would be our wedding but we already feel very married with each other, he is my husband and my very bestfriend..i never thought i could feel love this way. it feels so good loving him, being so in love with each other..enjoying each other's company..supporting and caring for each other. i feel a terrible emptiness..an indescribable hollowness. he died days before we will meet..we have so much dreams for our future..of having our family, our little paradise. i was in deep shock when his brother informed me of his death. it is terrible. both our family knew how much we love each other and how much we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. they are all very supportive of us. i feel this terrible numbness..but every night i can feel him hugging me, comforting me in my sleep. i can remember so well the night before he died, we talked on the phone and told each other how much we love each other. we have expressed our love in so many ways, we are so proud of our relationship, of our closeness, i have always been thankful to God for finding him. but now, i feel this deep emptiness..this unbearable pain.. i wish i will wake up from this terrible nightmare. i love him very much, i love my baby so much...i miss him terribly..i need his strength badly.