kayc

Hoping you're doing okay, Karen, I know it's rough getting your teeth pulled and healing from it...soup, yogurt, custard, pudding...

All true...

I'm turning 71 in 2 1/2 weeks...the older I get, the closer our reunion day!

And you too, it's tough sometimes, I won't kid you. I often wondered during the pandemic how much nicer it would have been to have had him with me. And when I lost my job. That was tough. I miss buying vehicles with him. But hell, I miss everything about him, the hugging, cuddling, talking with him...

I'm sure you already do. I'm missing half my teeth but in the back where no one notices and I have a bridge for my upper front teeth, no one notices. Praying your mouth doesn't hurt too badly and heals up quickly!

No but perhaps had an unexpressed doubt or something. Mine did the same. I wonder how many of them don't express these doubts to ud, all we know is what we're told but sometimes you wonder, the way this was clear out of the blue.

@Margm

So cute, Marg! I've never been scared of dentists, only their bill! Karen, I see you're scheduled to go in tomorrow, let us know after you do, okay?

I had to cook for Arlie daily as he had acute chronic Colitis his whole life, or at least when I got him from rescue. rice, chicken breast (no fat!) yogurt, pumpkin, I had certain veggies I gave him when not in outbreak. I used it on Kodie when we went to retreat and he got a hold of onion someone dropped on the floor, he was one very sick pup for a couple of days! Next day amazing recovery. Air was160 yesterday, don't know what brought it on unless they're doing some backburning, and we'd thought it was all gone! It was horrid mountains to valley, but esp. up here. Karen, need an update from you! Woke up thinking about you this morning...

I was shocked in the beginning, but have lived alone 18 years now, somehow we get through this, although everyone handles it differently. We find our own path through this. We continue to miss them, life is never the same again, but we do it. (((hugs)))

The problem is if you imbibe at all, it keeps the cravings going. And not only sugar but seed oils cause inflammation, very harmful. Coconut oil is good to cook with but to grease a pan there's nothing like bacon grease (I use cast iron, coconut oil sticks to it)! I also have avocado oil, although it costs more. George's idea of cooking was open a can of soup and make a sandwich! I wonder how he'd have done with Keto? He could have learned with me. He did everything but cook! I have Friskies cat food for Panther, he likes it best. During the pandemic there was a catfood shortage, they sold some off brand that he t!had to be starved into eating and then not willingly. I would imagine he can catch prey and eat it but have not seen any sign of it...Kitty would and bring it to the door to show me even at 25! She was great at getting moles and mice! The owl was disappointing, a lightweight piece of hollow plastic, falls over, I need some sand to put in it. I moved Panther's food & water to this side of the patio, near the sliding glass door so we can keep an eye on it. Kodie got a hard lump on his face, couldn't tell what it was, and cut it off, it left a hole in his face, am wondering if it was an infected whisker or something, I didn't see the whisker, just this substance that wouldn't go away. I put Neosporin in the hole, hoping it helps, I'm sure he licks it off, dogs never leave things alone. I hope it covers over. He never winced or cried when I took it off and no bleeding. He's the one for mysteries, between that and his eye. Going to the valley this weeken to get my flu shot and groceries. Covid is going around my church, yet they don't have vaccinations for it, found that odd, but not convinced that's the route to go anyway, after my little sister's ordeal with Shingrix vac., she still can't walk well, her husband has been a trooper throughout the last nearly 12 months! I'd be up the creek's . Flu shot is the only one I'll get, they haven't researched the other ones good enough yet. I['m glad you found an estate place, the ones here don't charge you up front, maybe that'll change...can you maybe find an RV to stay in while they do this? It'd be nice to find a spot for one rather than rent an apt, cheaper, easier to find somewhere to put it. That way you could have your privacy. A friend of mine is doing that, has it on a friend's place. Taking care of Jazzy while Iris is getting radiation treatments, through October 6, the day before my birthday. She'll be going places when that's over with. We deal with what we have to, we never know until something arises. Her best friend is on hospice now, she is dying and said she's ready to go. So hard. 90s this week, it was 96 yesterday, so much for the 88 they predicted. It'll be what it'll be. I managed w/o A/C last night, now that the smoke is gone, it's nice to open the windows, still, I'm glad it's still hooked up!

I am so sorry, I am glad you found this place, it was here for me when my husband died, and when my mom died, and my dogs, and my closest sister. My dad has been gone 41+ years now. It's so hard when it's someone who has been there all your life...just isn't, my heart goes out to you as you navigate ths. Will be thinking of and praying for you as you go through this. Anticipatory Grief and Mourning

Clearly, people who are grieving are not in their right mind. If they were, I never would have fallen prey to "Con John"...it's been nearly 17 years and I'm still paying for that! They have grief fog, big time! That's why they warn people not to make any major decisions the first year, and I would extend that to 3-5 years!

And that's what this place is here for...

I agree with Marty on this one, I think you dodged a bullet! I also kind of wonder if many of them that suddenly broke up due to grief had underlying issues that they had not perhaps expressed.

Wow, of course you'd need a new mold when you had the teeth pulled! I'm glad he didn't waste your time/$ trying to make something fit that won't.

I'm confused, is she talking about the person that broke up with you and saying she wouldn't have done that? I hope I misunderstood something. Anyway, I think you have a good understanding of what happened, and even though there's nothing good or right about this, you have equipped yourself with the knowledge you need to continue with your life and let her do her. Nothing simple about any of this, I know.

You didn't. A certain % of people break up when grieving, they can't handle relationship AND grief. It has nothing to do with you. It AFFECTS you though, and that is what is so hard. You get the fallout from his father's death. Nothing fair about it. It would make it easier, wouldn't it. As hard as it is, we realize they are clueless about how/why they are being like they are. But try to let go as much as you can, continue to do you, let him do him, that's what his choice/decision/action dictates. I know, nothing easy about this.

Today I went out with a wire brush and scraped their bird poop off, of course it doesn't get it all. I can't believe how much was there! It's an entire flock!

I wish people didn't have preconceived ideas about what grief looks like or what is normal when it isn't. It's very hard when they lay it on us and expect us t to be a certain way. We need them to be there for us and listen and care. It's hard. Even with me all these years later, I'm no longer enamored of him, but am still puzzled, in a quandary about where in the hell his head was at! It wasn't, plain and simple. It's hard to make sense of things when it seems nonsensical.

Kevin, that's in my future too, waiting for it to be deemed bad enough...I'm afraid it's getting there quickly. I wish you luck with yours!

Me too.

Sometimes I feel like I belong in a home looking out at the world instead of a part of it. They've left us high and dry and it's getting harder to engage in it. There was the 1800s then today and we were in between!

@MaryMae I am so sorry, this wasn't showing up until now...I am so proud of you for blocking/unfriending him! Maybe that was what you needed to see his lack of empathy or cluelessness. You do for YOU and let him do him!

I prayed about the setting up of the laptop, other than it displaying the E drive first, which is annoying since it's not plugged in, and pestering me with McAfee and Microsoft's crap, I'm getting used to it. I just need to remember to back it up weekly. Maybe I'll do that every Monday, like clockwork. The next morning I realized I hadn't specifically prayed about the printer, so I did. I went in and hooked up the printer again, and lo and behold I found it in the printers file and printed a document, it didn't even argue with me! So happy to have access to that, I don't need it often, but when you do, you do. I do miss my HP file that let me know my ink cartridge levels, troubleshoot, etc. I never thought to back that up. Haha, I love it! That is me, I get a rep on the phone whether healthcare or what and I give too much info...I made a friend with a rep from Dish Network once, she joined my diabetic group and we became FB friends! Our Fall started early this week, it was low 60s and low 40s at night, had to use the heater a couple of days! 70s this week, 40s-50s at night. I'm starting to acclimate a bit. I really don't want to build a fire until I get back from Ladies Retreat, end of month. We need rent control laws. How can people do this! In Eugene it's $2,000/month for rent! My daughter MAKES close to that! Her rent is just under $900, see why Don kicked her out and wanted to steal her apt from her? What made me so mad is she found the place, she applied for it (all he did is sign), and SHE made sure it was paid on time! Two of those years he wasn't working or getting unemployment because he failed the drug test at work and got fired. I got him a job at McD's and he was doing well there, moving up, but he quit to go to Killer Burger and everything changed...he started drinking (owner provided free drinks after work), he's alcoholic and it changed his brain. He no longer valued her, he abused her and hurt my precious daughter, after all she'd done for him. It took 5 1/2 years to get divorced even though simple, they filed right before Covid and the courts didn't process anything. I hired a paralegal in CA to get it done, final a year ago June 14, George's bdy! By this time she was just so relieved to have it over with. I have United Healthcare, a Medicare Advantage Program. $40 for a specialist, $15 for Urgent Care, nothing for PCP's office. My meds are zero unless a different tier. Hospital costs copay first four days, zero afterwards. I want to avoid the hospital like the plague, esp. since they don't serve Keto and want to pump you full of sugar water. Iris had me over for dinner last night, she went to the doctor beforehand and she has another UTI and a busted ear drum, her ins. won't cover the Rx but she told them to fill it anyway, she can fight with them later. She starts her radiation today, has to leave at 6:30 am to be there by 8. No, she can't help me, she had two family members die in the last two weeks, her hands are beyond full. This is why I help her, not to mention still newly grieving Mike's death. Also her best friend is dying. She is bringing her meals, getting her dog out, there for her. I am reminded that no man is an island, we all are a sense of community and need each other. I wanted to shower Thursday and discovered my rubber gloves had a tear in it, same thumb as I cut. Tape didn't hold, super glue got everywhere...so I went on Amazon and ordered some, to arrive today. They said I canceled my order. NO I DID NOT! I was awaiting anxiously for them! I tried calling them today, took 1 1/2 hours and six tries to get someone! (BTW, did I say how much I hate their AI that "answers their phone!" Texts wouldn't come in, their reps hung up before talking to me, on and on it went. FINALLY got someone that told me I canceled, no I didn't! Ordered another pair and instead of next day they're taking until Monday late afternoon! They have so many glitches in their system, I won't bore you with the details but let's just say they're a necessary evil in today. I will take Kodie to see Jazzy about 8:30 so she can get some exercise. It's the least I can do. Two days ago I saw a post by my neighbor Aaron...he'd ordered a fishing rod for a gift for someone, thinking it came with a reel, but it didn't. I told him to come get one at my place. He came with his partner and they picked out one, got excited when he saw a fly fishing pole, I told him to take it and any others if/when he wanted. I haven't used them since George died, I was allergic to fish for 38 years and couldn't breathe or touch them but someone could BBQ them on the grill if they cleaned the grill real well and we ate on the picnic table in open air. I loved fishing with George, being in nature, enjoying his company and most of all, his exuberance! Anyway, my neighbor Ken started heading to my house, wanting to know who/why those guys were there! We thought it so cute, he's very protective of me and didn't know who/why they were there. One of the reasons I still live here, I love my neighbors. The owl is cheap plastic (didn't say material in listing) and tips over, I need to put kitty litter or something in it. Wish I knew someone with some sand!