Marie Lee Posted December 16, 2016 Report Share Posted December 16, 2016 Hi...All...how come grief makes you feel like it's hard to just breathe.... It amazes me the physical aspects of this journey . I understand the emotional ups and downs but never expected the physical aspects of depression... I could just lay down and sleep.... Its hard to find joy in things that usually make me happy... I have a few hours that has a glimpse of normality but the this sadness overwhelms my mind and body. Is this how it's going to be for a while?.. Marie 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted December 16, 2016 Report Share Posted December 16, 2016 1 hour ago, Marie Lee said: how come grief makes you feel like it's hard to just breathe.... It amazes me the physical aspects of this journey . Marie, my dear, grief and the anxiety that goes along with it can indeed leave us feeling breathless at times, and at those times we really need to pay attention to our breath and consciously and deliberately change our breathing pattern. See, for example, Becoming Aware of Your Breath and Three Breathing Exercises and Techniques. And yes, grief most certainly affects us physically. See Physical Reactions to Loss, including the articles listed at the base. ♥ 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted December 17, 2016 Report Share Posted December 17, 2016 Marie, I cannot tell you how many times tonight I've said "you can't be gone" and I know he is and I'm at 14 months. He was just here. He can't be gone. But, finally at 14 months I do not see that final scene in the hospital. I don't know how, but I can block that out. But still, he can't be gone, how can he be gone. He was just here. I cannot cry until I get by myself, and then maybe I won't have to, but he will still be gone, no he can't be gone, and it goes on over and over. I used to could numb down by some power that just happened. My psychiatrist once told me that our brains can just take so much and then they do crazy things to protect us. I have not been able to do the disassociation that I could do when I had cancer, but I can put ear buds in my ears and listen to some strange little man try to hypnotize me. Stupid little fellow. I go to sleep. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenivere Posted December 17, 2016 Report Share Posted December 17, 2016 Marie, your loss is so new yet. Your whole life has been changed and it will take that slow passing of time to find where your path thru grief will lead you. At times it will control you. As you have read here, there are no quick fixes, if there are any fixes at all. Our bodies react as strongly as our hearts and minds. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marie Lee Posted December 17, 2016 Author Report Share Posted December 17, 2016 Thanks Marty, Marg and Gwen....I appreciate all of your posts. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted December 17, 2016 Report Share Posted December 17, 2016 17 hours ago, Marie Lee said: Hi...All...how come grief makes you feel like it's hard to just breathe.... It amazes me the physical aspects of this journey . I understand the emotional ups and downs but never expected the physical aspects of depression... I could just lay down and sleep.... Its hard to find joy in things that usually make me happy... I have a few hours that has a glimpse of normality but the this sadness overwhelms my mind and body. Is this how it's going to be for a while?.. Marie It sounds like classic grief to me. I have a hard time finding joy in making cards, which I always enjoyed before...I started making them 30 years ago. There's times I think about getting rid of all of the stuff to make them with, but then I think maybe I might want to someday so I keep it. I've found it helps to volunteer, it kind of pushes me a bit, out of myself, I'd hate to see what would happen if I just stayed home and hibernated. I doubt it'd be good for me. Still, there are times we need to, if only for a day or two. You mention sleeping...I think grief is exhausting. It takes a great deal out of us just to process all this. It may be that this IS how it is for a while, but grief evolves, it doesn't stay the same. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marie Lee Posted December 17, 2016 Author Report Share Posted December 17, 2016 Thanks Kay...I keep pushing forward and sometimes I am almost convinced I am healing...but then I come crashing down.. I watched some cartoons with grandson Mason this morning...Tom and Jerry...it made me chuckle...now on to run errands and hope the sunshine and activity help my broken heart a little... Take care, Marie 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marie Lee Posted December 18, 2016 Author Report Share Posted December 18, 2016 Marty, Tks very much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patty65 Posted December 18, 2016 Report Share Posted December 18, 2016 Hi Marie, My mother was taken to the ER the other day with shortness of breath. Since then, *I* have had shortness of breath, racing heart, the shakes -- the difference is I know mine is anxiety and nerves... along with a million other business pressures (understatement, we could be evicted from our commercial property, longstanding landlord dispute that got really nasty)... yes, it is so physical sometimes. You are not alone in that. I know the season is not helping either. Weeks after Ron had passed, I wrote a very long poem... it ends like this... another reference to the "physicalness" of all of this horror. And now it is only me In a home that is infinite comfort and pain With only two states: Haunted by the trauma of this journey past And terrified by the pain – the literal pain from the base of my throat, a crescendo in my chest, and aching reverberations in my stomach and loin – It is the ache of memories and what-will-never-be’s 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iPraiseHim Posted December 18, 2016 Report Share Posted December 18, 2016 On 12/16/2016 at 4:01 PM, Marie Lee said: Hi...All...how come grief makes you feel like it's hard to just breathe.... It amazes me the physical aspects of this journey . I understand the emotional ups and downs but never expected the physical aspects of depression... I could just lay down and sleep.... Its hard to find joy in things that usually make me happy... I have a few hours that has a glimpse of normality but the this sadness overwhelms my mind and body. Is this how it's going to be for a while?.. Marie Marie Lee, For many of us, the answer is yes.... and no. This grief in the initial stages was so life consuming. Just trying to sleep and breath was a major challenge. Our world is changed so suddenly and drastically. I just wanted the pain to be over and get back to "normal"... or so I thought. I still have not found joy but have hope that someday that will return. The beauty of this safe haven is we can expressed whatever is going on and know that someone here will empathize, understand, and possibly give helpful insight in what helps them through this grief. I have found that the more I feel the feelings, express the emotions in a safe outlet, and just acknowledge them that I can come to understand and even embrace the grief. No it's not my buddy, but I have come to learn another side of love expressed when our loved one has died. It takes whatever time it takes. The more I embrace it and accept it, the more I can grow and move forward in life. My prayers are with you. - Shalom, George 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted December 18, 2016 Report Share Posted December 18, 2016 11 hours ago, Patty65 said: we could be evicted from our commercial property Patty, do you mean the property your BUSINESS is on? That's horrible! I hope it doesn't happen, what a herculean job it'd be to have to move your business. Prayers going up for you!! I am sorry your mom has been going through this, I hope they're able to take care of her problem so she can continue to enjoy life with quality and richness. You too! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marie Lee Posted December 18, 2016 Author Report Share Posted December 18, 2016 (edited) Patty ..It is indeed the ache of memories and what will never be... Thank you for your response :-) Edited December 18, 2016 by Marie Lee Miss spell 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marie Lee Posted December 18, 2016 Author Report Share Posted December 18, 2016 Hi George, Thanks...this is indeed a safe haven. Peace, Marie 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marie Lee Posted December 18, 2016 Author Report Share Posted December 18, 2016 Patty, I hope your mom is doing better...and I am so very sorry about the landlord situation :-/... Prayers, Marie 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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