Pain is pain

[AB3]

I got a tattoo several years ago in Japanese that says "Love Hurts", how ironic? At the time I had experienced heartbreak from several directions and from many experiences in my life but it is only now that I really understand it. LOVE HURTS but it only hurts when it's real and hurts even worst when you find yourself in it alone as we now all do. But my question is, is physical pain just as unbearable as emotional pain? My fiance was in physical pain, so much so that he grew tired of it...it was too much to endure. I can't relate to the pain he had on a physical level but I can relate to it on a mental/emotional level and how much you grow tired if dealing with it. But what makes it ok to give up when you experience physical pain but not when you experience emotional pain? Why is suicide a sin? When those who comit it just grew tired of feeling all the pain.

It's hard to believe that we would be punished for making a choice not to suffer because in reality no one wants to die but also no one wants to live in pain. 

Just my thoughts.....please don't take offense. 

[Margm]

I am not studied on this, but I think there might be a state you can go in to be allowed to die if you have a terminal illness.  I am spouting this off my head folks, so this is not a studied or intelligent answer.  I know we had Dr. Kevorkian that tried to make it legal, I think.  I'm sorry folks, my memory will not allow me to know unless I google it and I am not going to google it.  I know I sat beside my dad that had prostate cancer and was hurting so bad the pain medicine would not touch the pain.  I used to know what they called the breathing between the doses of morphine and seems like it is Cheyne-Stokes breathing.  I sat and Daddy would take a deep breath (comatose), and then it would be forever before he would breath again.  You knew he was terminal, he was already gone, but there was still breath.  Each time you begged him not to breath anymore, but then he would again.  The thing is you cannot give them any more morphine than you give them, it will kill them.  Mama said she wished they would make heroin legal for dying patients so they would die happy.  I was not there when he breathed his last.  Billy could not walk but he was high up on the marijuana and bless his heart he stood up and ran to me with both kids on each side of him to catch him.  He just fell all around me, but he was high, he was happy.  We allow our pets more humanity than our humans.  And those are just my thoughts, hope no one takes offence either.  

I am typing this and my 46-year-old cousin (my first cousin's daughter) died about four hours ago of brain cancer she had fought for 14 years.  My cousin, her father  (who was like my brother) passed away six years ago.  She had taken time out from treatments to have a baby.  She has a 9-year-old little girl.  She suffered a bunch of years, she was one brave little girl (she was a little girl to me).    

[kayc]

Oregon.  But the federal gov't is wanting to trump the state's decision and disallow it.  We'll see how it plays out.  For now you can if you have a terminal illness and less than six months to live.

[AB3]

I'm aware of the laws that allows you to choose to end your life when you have a terminal illness (physical pain) but my question is why is more acceptable to end physical pain but not emotional pain when both are forms of suffering. 

[kayc]

I guess because with the physical you are going to die anyway but with emotional, you're not.

[AB3]

3 minutes ago, kayc said:

I guess because with the physical you are going to die anyway but with emotional, you're not.

But who says you can't die from emotional pain? What I'm saying is pain is pain. But when someone gives up trying to live through physical pain it's o but when someone gives up trying to live through emotional pain it's not.

[kayc]

10 hours ago, AB3 said:

But who says you can't die from emotional pain?

The Bible says Jesus did.  There have been a lot of couples that were married a long time and ended up dying really close together.  I know of one such couple that lived here, they worked together, spent their life together, and when she died, he died two weeks later.  They were probably in their 60s and no one expected him to die.

[Brad]

There is Broken Heart Syndrome where extreme grief can actually damage the heart muscle. It is rare that people actually die from a broken heart but the syndrome is cross cultural and records of broken heart syndrome dates back over 3,000 years.  Grief not only can effect the heart but the immune system as well.  This explains why my Crohn's has been more active since Crohn's is an autoimmune disease.

[Margm]

We all miss Robin Williams, but from what was wrong with him, if the reporting was true, he had physical pain also.  We know he had emotional pain so maybe with both kinds of pain it was just too much for him.

My dad was going through the radiation to eradicate any hormones that might feed his prostate cancer.  They made friends with a young woman who was undergoing radiation for cancer.  Then they missed her and someone said she had committed suicide.  My deacon daddy got very angry.  He said here we are undergoing inhuman treatments to try to live and she just gave up and did not fight.  But, we cannot fathom the depths of despair that some people go through.  We know our depths, we know how deep in that hole we dig for ourselves, but we cannot judge someone else.  I was going to follow Billy.  In those first hours after his death I looked forward to being with him.  But then reality hit and I did not know if by killing myself I would be with him.  None of us knows these things.

In my case though, I was needed to stay.  Billy said the one left must stay.  I am until I am not.  

(I sure am talkative this week-end)  Sometimes I remind myself of that William Shakespeare Macbeth quote: "a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more: it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,signifying nothing."

 

 

[AB3]

I've heard of "Broken heart syndrome" and boy do I sometimes feel like I can die from this broken heart...I'm sure at one point or another we all felt like we could. Marg, Robin Williams had been diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease not too long before his death. I've heard that he suffered with that diagnosis as well as depression leading to his suicide. I know it says that suicide is a sin but I do understand why people do it. Emotional pain is hard to live with....sometimes too hard. I don't know what happens after you die, but I could never see why we would be punished for ending our pain and suffering.

 

[Marie Lee]

Why does it hurt? I have no idea....Myself, I am trying to stop overthinking...the struggle is real.

Hugs AB... One step at a time..

Marie

[Gwenivere]

3 hours ago, AB3 said:

I know it says that suicide is a sin but I do understand why people do it. Emotional pain is hard to live with....sometimes too hard. I don't know what happens after you die, but I could never see why we would be punished for ending our pain and suffering.

I'm not religious so have no take on suicide in that venue.   I do believe our life is our own and what we choose to do with it us strictly our personal business unless it causes someone physical harm.  Emotional harms are tricky, but we can't always live putting everyone above us.  Wether I am hit by a bus, suffer long term medical issues leading to my demise or end the pain myself, I see the outcome as the same.  All I have done is leave this plane.  What happens next, if anything, I don't see as a punishment or reward.   Death is just the end if the body.  

[Margm]

I have to go back to my "faith the size of a mustard seed" feeling.  It would be arguing religion and I am not sure I could do that even if it was allowed.  As a grown up/second childhood maybe, I don't want to question things any more than I already do.  

[iPraiseHim]

23 hours ago, AB3 said:

.... Why is suicide a sin? When those who commit it just grew tired of feeling all the pain.

It's hard to believe that we would be punished for making a choice not to suffer because in reality no one wants to die but also no one wants to live in pain. 

Just my thoughts.....please don't take offense. 

Christian viewpoint...

It depends on what your spiritual beliefs are. 

I believe that God made us in the likeness of Him. One of His rules for life is that we are not to murder.  My  understanding is that by committing suicide (which I may have freedom to do) is still wrong in God's world.

In my early twenties, i thought I would be better dead than living this bleak existence. My emotional pain was so intense that I saw suicide as a possible solution. Yet, I knew for some reason it was not the answer.  Instead, I chose to seek out help to find out how to get beyond the pain.  I sought counseling despite my family beliefs.  I found out that some of my thinking was wrong and I just wanted to live WITHOUT all of this emotional pain. Later, I met, fell in love and married my beloved wife, Rose Anne.  We were together for almost 26 years.

As a Christian widower, I have experienced tremendous grief since my wife passed away.  Yes, it is painful and I don't like it.  It is almost two years since my wife died suddenly, yet my faith in God is supported by my understanding of God's sovereignty over every aspect of my life.  Just recently ( 4 weeks ago), a childhood passion of mine( learning to fly) was rekindled and has given me new hope and passion for the future.  If I had committed suicide in my early days, I would never have experienced  all of this.

Please seek out a grief counselor, or some one to help you with this difficult time of grief. You are worth it. MartyT, also has excellent resources available to help us all. - Shalom, George    

 

[kayc]

Why is it a sin?  Some think it is, some don't.  My personal take is if is person is mentally ill enough to take their life, I'm sure God understands that, but don't base anything that important on what I think!

My take is that life is a gift and we oughtn't squander it or consider it nothing of value.  

I kind of thought if anyone could die of a broken heart, surely I could, I loved George more than anything in the world, but it didn't kill me, so go figure.