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Sorrow-Please, God. Please.


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Sorrow- Please, God. Please
 
Sorrow-
Sometimes sorrow is too much to bear alone.
The heaviness in my heart radiates excruciating pain until I no longer know where my heartache ends and where my body aches begins. 
They are intertwined as one.
Please, God. Please.
 
Sorrow-
Every molecule in my body cries out for help.
They cry out in unison, "Please, God. Please."
They moan in disconcerting harmony with such agony that can only be described as the gut-wrenching sounds of late stage labor.
No one wants to hear about that, about agony.
People just want to say how strong and brave you are and they romaniticize loss.
I cannot live up to those expectations of strength and bravery.
Please, God. PLEASE.
 
Sorrow-
I wonder if Mary felt this way as her son was tortured before her eyes.
She must have wailed in pain for the Messiah.
How she must have mourned her sweet baby boy.
How she must have plead with God, saying,
"Please, God. PLEASE!"
 
Sorrow-
It was my biggest fear.
It still is.
This pain is worse now than in the beginning.
Please, God. PLEASE.
Soothe my soul.
Please, God. Just please.
Hold me until I can breathe over the top again. 
Please, God. Please.
Lighten the weight and tightness in my chest where John's heart beat in sync with mine, until it didn't.
Please, God. Please.
 
Sorrow-
"Please, God. Please," I beg to seemingly no avail.
It is unavoidable and yet I have run from its grasp for what seems like forever. 
The journey does not end.
It is treacherous and holy ground that is trod for a lifetime.
Please, God. Please.
Make me bigger than my grief.
Please , God. Please.
 
Sorrow-
There is balm for wounds, even wounds to the soul, 
I cry out hoping my screams will be heard because this pain- THIS PAIN- is too great to bear alone.
It demands to be acknowledged.
Please, God. Please - hear me, touch me.
Please hold close vigil over my heart until the heaviness of spirit and fracturing of my bones in the core of my soul subsides.
Please.
God.
Please.
 
©Mary Beth Beck-Henderson 2017
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Touching and heartfelt, Mary Beth. Might you consider submitting your work to Grief Digest Magazine

Submit an article!

You can help others by sharing your story.

 

ABOUT GRIEF DIGEST

Grief Digest is a quarterly magazine supporting grieving people and caregivers. The Centering Corporation, which is the largest and oldest grief resource center in the country, has created this resource by gathering a remarkable group of writers to aid you in your journey.

Our reader-friendly magazine includes the best writers and speakers in the field of bereavement. There are many interesting and helpful articles on coping and dealing with grief, help for the caregiver and most of all, the usual quality and support you expect from your Centering family.

Article submissions are encouraged. You may submit them digitally to centeringcorp@aol.com or through the website under Contribute an Article. Contributors receive free copies of the magazine as well as a resource page in the magazine. Advertisers may purchase space in print or online. However, due to the sensitive topics covered in Grief Digest, we reserve the right to review resource pages prior to publication.

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Mary Beth,

I am astounded and humbled by your words. I pray on almost a daily basis for God to give me a chance to go back and figure out a way to save her.  I too say please, Please and PLEASE!

My Dana was also a poet, also an editor and she was a teacher. I speak to her every day, so tonight I just read your poem to her. I am sure she would have been moved to tears by your work.  I am so sorry for your loss, and for each of us. As others have expressed here, you have captured the pain we are enduring, the melded emotional and physical pain. I know we are more prone to the physical, because the emotional has already brought us to our knees.  I hope and pray for Him to hear your prayers.

Thank you so much for this.

Dave

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We are at that age when sorrow abounds, I light the candle for Angela every week after Mass.......(we never prayed that much before she passed away, but going back was on our  list..., then my best friends mother took ill, another candle and prayers...sadly she passed away....I am at 4 candles(that's my limit) and got news today another friend had a bad diagnosis......(colon)... Not sure if its  because of the personal  Grief I've endured ,  but these new encounters with loss i find myself more understanding and sincere......And there is so much of it.....

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I've  grown the candles I light too.  I am at 4 adding Steve.  They are lit every night.  Started with my mother in 1990.  I can't imagine the night without the glow of them.  We added one for Steve's mom and one for our furry kids we have lost along the way.  There's something about the glow of candles that staves off a bit of the cold of this new world.

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