My Sanity Needed Vents

[Gwenivere]

Thanks for checking in with Marg and letting us know.  Weather is crazy this year.  It’s quite warm today, but foot of snow predicted for the weekend which means flooding.  
 

Feel so sick since breakfast.  Have been on the phone most of the time with insurance, bills coded wrong, tech support and trying to connect with Dee that she didn’t need to come today.  The med scare last night with the anxiety meds got handled but was just told by my nurse, they would have sent me to the hospital for withdrawal.  Geez!  It’s d*mned scary that insurance can endanger people that way!  She said she has another patient in the same predicament with meds they absolutely need.  I know I’d have withdrawal, but not so fast or serious.  I’m freaked out just thinking about it now.  Calming myself because my other anxiety med could be used proactively.  
 

im going to post this.  I’m not done but the software here keeps dropping a lot of it and I’m tired of retyping it.

 

 

[kayc]

I'm sorry you're having so much trouble posting, that happened to me in my FB Diabetic group this morning, so frustrating!  You think it posted and nope it's not there or it posted twice!  I do two groups so it takes a while to check the scheduled posts, cost me time/data I don't have.

Dee cares about you, don't worry about being a good conversationalist right now, it's important to vent and get this off your chest and who do you have but Dee and us to talk to?  We're hear and listening.  It sickens me how the bureaucracy is and what they put you through.  Went through similar with my sister but not as long as you've had to deal with it.  And you don't have a sister fighting for you like I did her.  I am missing her and can't imagine not having her in my life!  At the same time I'm relieved for her that she didn't have to go through stage 4 dementia and be institutionalized, she got to go the way she wanted and didn't have to live without Bert any more.  She was so dependent on him for everything, now she's made well and happy and no more balance problems!  I'm happy for her, just sad for those of us who miss her, her neighbors are having a hard time too.  She lived there even longer than the 45 years I've been here!

[Gwenivere]

On 4/2/2022 at 6:23 AM, kayc said:

who do you have but Dee and us to talk to?  We're hear and listening.  It sickens me how the bureaucracy is and what they put you through.  Went through similar with my sister but not as long as you've had to deal with it.  And you don't have a sister fighting for you like I did her. 

It has been very difficult navigating all the rules and regulations on my own.  Don’t know what I’d do without all of you and Dee.  I’d be on a loony tunes ward somewhere, of that I have no doubt.  The bureaucracy I’ve run into during these 8 months seems unbelievable to me, but I have to.  I’ve lived it.  My only big freedom is I can go home.  That solves nothing, but create more possible problems.  Quite the choice.

Your sister was very fortunate to have you fighting for her.  I wish she would or could have expressed that to you.  

There is the social worker who I’ll have to talk to when I do go home for care there.  Don’t think she can do anything here.  I sure hope my insurance doesn’t pull something crazy like denying that because I didn’t go home when they said.  I’ve become trained to look for problems.  It’s my nature now.  

I had a very strict nurse yesterday. If there are pain pills, she insists on seeing you take them.  I don’t know what she thinks I’m going to do with them as I groan in pain to get settled waking up or changing positions later in the day.  I wish I could decline them for the side effects, but I’ve spent enough months watching my body break down thru inactivity.  I did an extra walk because I got so bored and anxious. Then I get so down about the state of my body.  I need to have one anxiety med changed by timing as there is a 15 gap here and the most was 10 at home.  I’ve been trying to figure out why the afternoons are so hard and this could be it.

Hard to believe another week has gone by by how they drag.  Hope everyone has a decent day.  Dare I say good?

[Widow2015]

1 hour ago, Gwenivere said:

 I sure hope my insurance doesn’t pull something crazy like denying that because I didn’t go home when they said.  I’ve become trained to look for problems.  It’s my nature now.

Gwen:  Sadly you have been forced to become trained for problems and hopefully once out of rehab you won't have to be faced with other bureaucratic hurdles.  You have earned the right to be as comfortable as possible as you become stronger and continue to heal.  Always keeping you in my thoughts.  Hugs, Dee

[kayc]

9 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

I wish she would or could have expressed that to you.

She did when she was in lucid moments.  I've let go of the horrible attacks coming from her dementia, they weren't her, just sounded like her voice.

God it's been a helluva week!  Julie went through pictures and took what she wanted.  Mick took pictures of everything, including the attic.  He said he'd take over from here but he forgot to take the Spectrum boxes to return so I had to go back and get them and will take them to Eugene to return to a UPS store.  Makes me nervous as I knew everything about Peggy and none of them did.  She's still getting mail, I'll have to pick it up and get anything important to him and toss all her tons of catalogs when they came.

My food is going bad because I haven't been able to cook all week.  I need to make a pot of soup and use it up.  Not sure if I'll go to church today, just so tired!

I returned Laurel's stepstool to her.  I need a break.  Kodie's been so good throughout.

[Gwenivere]

It’s becoming possible that my back is set since the 2nd surgery. I’ve gone thru critical healing time leaving me feeling no way I can believe this can Increase posture and pain. Strenuous PT was delayed for healing and when it was time, my insurance said I had to go home even tho it was apparent I could only walk so bent forward over without looking up..  We know our bodies.  I can’t see how 4 more weeks can make much difference after over 2 months on hold  here and neglected and 7 months total since 2021.

I feel like I’m in withdrawal of some sort all day.  On top of the pain and loss of hope it’s hard to get thru feeling that.  I took half my pain meds with breakfast and the other half 3 hours  later with my next meds.  Worked better.  I  need some emotional help and don’t know where to turn.  I can’t even get answers on the physical. Have a call in to change meds around for a more manageable day. I have to bury thoughts like Melody.  I’ve lost so much time with her.  Can’t see her (my choice) to ease the pain she is real because it creates another that we can’t be together.  I’m trapped in so many ways.  I still make Dee happy even tho I feel just take up space.  I care so much about her, but what I can offer is refuge at my house anytime she needs it. I don’t want her feeling a caregiver and I know her well enough she would.  It’s not the foundation we started with nor I want.  She’s helps me so much as it is.  I want to do that for her too. We need to talk face to face about options she is comfortable with.

I've had so much time to think on my grief path.  So many people I miss.  My parents, several friends, 2 very close cousins, many furry kids and Steve.  Why was I left behind?   This is no gift or prize.  I don’t have a life that contributes to the world.  Heard another tribute to Betty White on PBS and it’s amazing the connections she made to keep life something good.  My plans have been dashed with where I am.  I just wanted to have a good life with my family til real old age got us.  Late 50’s was too soon.
 

 

 

[kayc]

5 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

She’s helps me so much as it is.  I want to do that for her too.

That's how Peggy felt.   She didn't understand the full extent of how much she did help me by just caring/understanding/listening!  Now there's no one.  Not as close to rest of family, they're always busy, have their lives.
I know you don't want her to be in caregiver role, but I encourage you to accept the little things she does, like bringing you food, I MISS doing that for Peggy!

Oh yes, I love Betty White!  She was amazing and so positive, uplifting.

[Gwenivere]

I do let Dee know how I appreciate the things she does. I don’t want  her to get too heavy into a caregiver role.  Tho now I will need help fixing food and personal care.  Waking up today was another drag myself thru the motions.  Thinking how bad this will be when I am home and no people around.  I’ve come to depend on people I know here for contact.  It’s going to be so hard to be back home and no one to see and are glad to see you.  Even some of the staff stops by to say hi.  

I’d been sitting here for hours feeling in withdrawal.  I don’t know why this is happening so severely now.  I’ve always felt off since starting the pain med and mirolax.  I know these are affecting my anxiety meds.  The ARNP  copied my plan of what to try next.  I was at activities and missed my shrinks call.  He never answers the phone so I don’t know when we’ll connect.  I don’t want to stay in bed so much.  I want to get up and walk despite the pain.  It’s a hassle because of getting the oxygen going. Did a leg strength session.  Saw the shower aide and I’m first Tuesday.  Need Dee up here with tax documents to file an extension.  This is such a problem this time of year.  Last summer none of this was going on.  I also wasn’t so deep in living so long with it.  It’s why I know more about what feels wrong.  
 

I reread what I write knowing the atrocities happening in Russia and the local news reporting on people who have be killed that affect so many families.  I try not to compare to what people are struggling with as we shouldn’t. Everyone is valid.  I know this repetitive and boring, but knowing you are all out there keeps me going.  I think about what everyone is going thru.  I read all your challenges wishing none of showed up here.  Ever so grateful this here tho.  Grateful for Marty and her sincere caring about helping us all and herself.  

 

[kayc]

Well we may not be shrinks or miracle workers but we're here, we care, and listen, sometimes I really wish I could do more for you and then I laugh at the thought as I BARELY manage my own life!  Being in charge of Peggy was hard, and I was it, no one else stepped up to the plate except Polly did what she could from home, ordering things on line for her, researching (she was a research librarian so it's her forte  ), hard watching her a Peggy age and now she's my only older sister left.  

Email from DIL, Bethany, wanting me to babysit next month (six hour round trip drive) just six days before Ceci's bdy, means two trips in a week, ugh, never did she say "Sorry for your loss" or anything like that, that's her, never concern for anyone else.  She texted my little sister when she had Covid (Delta, deathly sick, we didn't know if she'd survive it at that point) and said, "Heard you have Covid, can you watch the kids next month?"  I mean, who does that!  Bethany.  Julie turned her phone off.

People are unreal.  No wonder I like dogs!

6 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

I try not to compare to what people are struggling with as we shouldn’t.

This is so true!  Something I've learned in my grief journey.  Everything we feel and go through is valid and comparisons never help anyone.  The news hasn't been recording lately, I haven't had time to check out the timers as to why (it always did for years).  Maybe I don't need it, I'm on overload right now as it is.  BS is up this morning, it's stress, I know what I've eaten, it should be low.  I had spinach/egg/sausage at 2:30, a mug of homemade soup for dinner, 1/2 SF mug cake, that is it.  Should be 100.  Oh well, can only do what we can do.

Kind of like your journey, you're doing what you can.  It's up to the doctors to figure it out, it's unfortunate we have to stay on top of them just trying to get answers.

Clearly Peggy should have had her heart checked out, but part of it is her too because she never told them about her mini stroke.  It's hard to work with stubborn/uncooperative.  But I love/d her.  We all did.

[Gwenivere]

On 4/5/2022 at 6:42 AM, kayc said:

It's up to the doctors to figure it out, it's unfortunate we have to stay on top of them just trying to get answers.

I swear I’m going blind in emails with them.  So frustrated when I call and get the ‘we’ll call you back' line.  This is life altering and treated like I have a splinter in my finger.  I’ve already been on the phone trying to figure out tax extensions and contacts to send info to get this off my back a couple of months.  That and collect this new CPA's phone, email and address.  Lost our CPA who could have done all this with one call. Why it all came down this  year with the surgery is beyond my ability to find the irony in it.

Tried to do some banking and the site is messed up.  Got my exercise in.  Feel awful as usual from eating.  Showers, walks, hair back up done.  Shower is the task I don’t see how it could be done at home.  It’s not easy here and I sit in a wheelchair thru it. She always tells me how bad the stoop is as she is doing my back.  I get the fun of living with it.  
 

I thought they were sending a psychologist to talk to about now this experience affects people, but it turned out to be a shrink.  I already have the med changes made that are a bit better.  It’s the emotional side I need help with.  The worry and fear of going home and losing interaction and distance for walking.   Don’t know how I’ll handle all the time alone.  I’m actually terrified about it.  Beyond showers, I’m not sure about getting my meds prepared .and meals done.  Thinking of sitting in the living room all day is so lonely.  It’s not going to be like last August.  I have no memory of how I handled days.  Dee came over maybe every other day.  Where I kept all the paperwork since I ‘moved' in here.  I have walks defined by distance here.  I was less active and didn’t gain weight.  This is all very perplexing.  3 days a week I’ll loose afternoon activities.  My nightly jigsaw torture.  I’ll even miss bingo.  Exercise is more motivated when II do it with the young woman who is so nice.  Dee and I did talk about how she’s been going to the house pretty much daily to read.  I’ll have to see how that feels.  This all so new.  

[kayc]

10 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

Why it all came down this  year with the surgery is beyond my ability to find the irony in it.

That's how I'm feeling with snow threatening to ruin my chance to find out what's going on in my throat/tongue, why THIS year has to be the only time it's snowing this late!

Some things you won't know until you're in it, sometimes anticipation can be our biggest fear, but sometimes we get surprises no matter how we plan.  I know that's been true for me.  We can't always know until we're there.

 

[Widow2015]

21 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

 Dee and I did talk about how she’s been going to the house pretty much daily to read.  I’ll have to see how that feels.  This all so new.  

Gwen:  Yes, this life without our partner is all so new and very scary at times.

I wish I could offer you something to help take away your fear of returning to your home and the fear of not being independent.  I think I understand some of that fear.  As I've mentioned before I won't begin to say my vision issues compare to your level of pain and struggles.  The fear of diminishing sight is always on my mind.

But right now, I can report since my cataract surgery I have gained the courage to drive a short distance to pick up a prescription and a pair of "reader glasses" since my prescription glasses no longer work.  My appointment with my retinal doctor for an injection in my good eye yesterday was very good.   I'm still not comfortable driving myself for my eye injections; especially if eyes are dilated.   Yesterday turned out to be an adventure and almost laughable.  After the injection appointment the transport company I use usually picks me up in a sedan.  Well, this time they came in a van that was so high off the ground I had to use a step stool to get into the front passenger seat.   This type of van must be used to carry passengers in wheelchairs or on a stretcher, kind of like an ambulance.   To add to the adventure, the driver went in a different direction, and missed the turnoff giving me a different route to see.   The driver kept apologizing but I told him, no need to apologize I enjoyed the trip since I don't get out very much, it was an adventure.  The sun was shining and as he drove, we discussed the pretty trees that are beginning to bud.  This is my social life now, being driven to doctor appointments.  lol

These past months, you have battled so much lately with doctors, medical care, etc., etc.   If your friend, Dee can find some quiet time in your home, you are giving her a gift of friendship and a comfortable place to re-energize.  Having someone to be there for you is a gift.  Hugs, Dee

[Gwenivere]

9 hours ago, kayc said:

Some things you won't know until you're in it, sometimes anticipation can be our biggest fear, but sometimes we get surprises no matter how we plan.  I know that's been true for me.  We can't always know until we're there.

Anticipation is the worst!  Even when I know something is coming I will hate or fear, it’s the imagining that can go even worse.  That’s where I live daily.  I keep hearing what others are doing and feel I’m coming up short.  But circumstances are different.  A woman talked today walks outside on the blocks that surround the facility.  My aide told me she’s the only one that does that.  I remember last year when I could walk the entire inside loop twice inside and I tied that once this time and how hard It was.  I’ve gone over the being at home so many times.  I haven’t even tried rougher terrain like the driveway.  I’m scared to.  
 

I went to bingo and didn’t win this time at all.  I did find out I qualify for a tax extension without having to send in all kinds of paperwork. That would have been a lot on Dee.  I called Apple today and got my mail app working again instead of using  Google Chrome.  I like it better as it’s more versatile.  The last tech I talked to about a problem I had messed it up and moved my mail there.  This guy fixed it easily.  Makes me wonder about their support.  This guy sounded bored, but I am some old lady struggling to do something that is 2nd nature to him.  🥱. 
 

Dee, you wrote such a thoughtful post.  You have a perspective I have always admired.  I understand your eye fears.  None of us want to lose more of ourself that creates more limits.  None of us thought we’d end up and gravitate to more ways we become a less vital person than we were.  I’m too tired from the day and meds, I can’t organize my thoughts.  But you’ve given me much to think about for the coming day.  
 

Time for some good TV and prepare for a little sleep before tossing and gearing up for as functional as I can get.  I know this is temporary til I face more changes at home.  I had a very hard time communicating yesterday.  Despite all the things going wrong or sideways, my brain is what I value most.  it was discouraging having a hard time yesterday talking to the bank and Apple and not feeling all there.  People like these meds?   Wow, I don’t relate at all.  My past addictions felt good, not like this!

[kayc]

Yes, your brain is a good thing to value/appreciate, so is eyesight.  My sister Polly can see five hours/day with one sclera lens, that's it.  She can't see to drive.  She's afraid to go out because of Covid.  She has severe IBS so can't be away from the toilet.  I can't imagine her life.  She needs to go to TX to get new sclera lenses made but can't imagine getting there.  Keto would benefit her if she left off the cauliflower but she won't try it.  Everyone in my family is diabetic except Mick hasn't been diagnosed yet, he's the baby at 55.  I was about 56 when I was diagnosed I think, a prediabetic at that time, didn't take long to go full bore, the doctor didn't give me any hints about what to do or what it entails.

I really don't have close friends that drop in and have coffee or to do things with, but what do I do except take care of Kodie and do stuff for the church and survive?  Not like in the days when Virgie and I would get together, have cappuccino, go out to eat, do crafts.  I miss her.  Even getting out and seeing Peggy with Kodie...gone now.  Iris' life is all about cancer now.

I'm supposed to have a phone visit with my doctor in 12 days to explain to him how insulin works and why I need an insulin resistance test, he doesn't know and wants it for a learning experience.  Time to refresh myself with Dr. Ben Bikman and Fr. Jason Fung...explaining it in the diabetic group is one thing, to a doctor it's more intimidating, I don't know what questions he'll ask, ugh.

[kayc]

@KarenKHow're your eyes doing?  Has the scratchiness/blur gone yet?  Have you talked to the doctor about it?

[KarenK]

I saw the optometrist today. Driving is a challenge as my eyes don't want to focus together. Best guess is that my left eye muscles don't work as well as my right, due to getting older. Old age...the gift that keeps on giving. This also contributes to the double vision when looking to the left. Glasses with prisms might help some, but no guarantee. I don't drive much anyway, so unless it becomes a real problem, I'll just get by. It doesn't affect watching tv or reading.

Stopped by the dentist so he could snip out the stitches that didn't dissolve. Knock on wood, I have one more tooth to pull. Dermatology checkup was good. Now if I could just conquer the damn dizziness. Somehow we learn to live with all these little inconveniences.

[Widow2015]

Karen, so sorry to read about your eye issues.  Was so hoping time would solve the double vision.  Keeping you in my thoughts as you continue with your additional health issues.  This getting older is not for sissies.  Dee

[Gwenivere]

I woke up so many times last night.  After the first time I was aware of where I was and why.  I knew nothing would be different than other mornings.  I was already in tears when the nurse came in with ‘adapting' pep talk.  I trusted doctors to help me and it made things worse faster.  Yet, I couldn’t live as I was already.  I saw the end of life as I knew it months before I had the first operation.  I didn’t know it could cost me more like possibly losing Melody..it’s a biggie in how his has come down.  All they talk to me here is BM's, meds and how good' I’m doing walking (I need a new name like the hunchback of Richmond Beach) considering all the complications.   I feel symptoms of withdrawal during the day and they talk about lowering the meds. .???  I know a lot is from anxiety that I’ve never had to face before.  Ever.  I can’t get any help for the inner me.  My thyroid is out of control again.  That could explain a lot.   I don’t know what to tell the surgeon and endocrinologist.  So much of this is mental as when I went to bingo yesterday I was engaged and didn’t want to die which is how I feel when I’m alone.  That is what I’ll be walking into when I leave.  My nurse says I’m getting too dependent and she is right.  But as much for people as help. That she doesn’t get.  Adapt?  This isn’t like getting used to new carpeting.  
 

I have yet to call the surgeon and endocrinologist.  I can also message them.  I’m so burned out on it all.  I just want to be left alone.  I don’t mind doing therapy.  It’s the talking to doctors that bring me to tears as there isn’t one source.  One doesn’t care about the other but it’s all happening in my one body.  They don’t even want to  consider outside their specialty.  My PCP does, but he can’t force them.  Means too many attempts trying to put this together. Going to try and get emails done so I don’t have that facing me in the morning.  
 

Karen, I sure hope your vision becomes clearer.  You may not go out much, but it would be great if you didn’t have to worry about it.

[KarenK]

Thanks Dee. I'm so fortunate that Robert has been doing all the shopping and driving, but sure feeling guilty. At least I can do some of it now. I've never been one to ask for help, but find I must now sometimes. Forging ahead blindly has real meaning now.  lol

Was talking with my dentist today and asked about his wife, who I know as she used to help out in the office. He said she has macular degeneration in both eyes. She gets the shots as you do. She still drives, but he discourages it, tries to make sure one of his daughters is available. Sure hope yours is not getting any worse.

[KarenK]

Gwen, I wish I had the magic words to make you feel better. Maybe if you focus on some of the positive things about going home like setting your own schedule, eating what you want, when you want and choosing your own tv programs. Small things I know, opposed to all the challenges you face, but it's some kind of a start. The big thing, of course is getting Mel back home to combat some of the loneliness. I'm sure Dee will be there as often as she can and home health at least for a while. Is there a Meals On Wheels there to help with food? I imagine the social worker can provide helpful suggestions.  You have overcome so much already. All you can do is grit your teeth and keep pushing forward.

Luv Ya Girlfriend

[kayc]

11 hours ago, KarenK said:

I saw the optometrist today. Driving is a challenge as my eyes don't want to focus together. Best guess is that my left eye muscles don't work as well as my right, due to getting older. Old age...the gift that keeps on giving. This also contributes to the double vision when looking to the left. Glasses with prisms might help some, but no guarantee. I don't drive much anyway, so unless it becomes a real problem, I'll just get by. It doesn't affect watching tv or reading.

Do you remember the simple eye exercises I gave you?  That will help with that!  Both the double vision and the left going off on it's own (the right is dominant).  You can TRAIN them to work together!  Mine have that problem when I first wake up sometimes but it used to be all the time, I have learned to bring my left eye back in so it'll work with the right one.  I paid big bucks for those simple exercises and like to share them with anyone who can use them to spare them having to.  I sought help from an eye therapist and paid a fortune for it as no insurance for it, this was in 1993 so it's not an old age thing...what prompted it was when I tried to back down into my driveway and couldn't tell which garage to head for!  Only have one garage, it was jumping back and forth as my left eye fought my right eye...I knew it was get help or I wouldn't be able to drive/work!  Not an option when you have young children and no public transportation.

5 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

I need a new name like the hunchback

Gwen have they ever talked to you about making a brace for your back?  I used to work for CPOs and that is part of what they did, custom orders to help people with their mobility.

I've had a mysterious throat issue with inflamed tongue glands since Christmas 2020, couldn't get a doctor to look at or biopsy it.  Am canceling it as:
1) The white spots disappeared after all this time, may need time for glands to settle down

2) Lady on FB Oakridge Chat (where we share town news) posted asking where to get CBD infused coffee...said she went to Eugene Gastroenterology and they tore her esophagus in two places, didn't give her anything for pain, didn't tell her what to do!  That's where I was scheduled.  In all these years I've never seen a post like that, the timing was uncanny!

3) Snow starting tonight through at least a week!  45 years here, it's never snowed past April 7!

I don't believe in that many coincidences, I need to heed the warnings that are screaming at me!

Decided to make the trek in to town yesterday to get groceries!  Came home and it was 80 with the fire going and windows open, this was not predicted!  Crazy weather.  Will clean out the wood stove today and build a fire, high of 46 today.  This is crazy!

Another kink: Have to go for blood draw and requested insulin resistance test, doctor hadn't heard of it and doesn't know much about Diabetes, wants to have a phone visit April 19 so II can explain to him why.  Brushed up on Dr. Ben Bikman (scientist) on Insulin Resistance, took notes.

Never a dull moment!  I'd like one!

Haven't heard from brother since he said he'd "take it from here."  Don't know if he's forwarding her mail, hope he's thought of it, but I can't drive 20 miles/day to check it when it's snowing and gas costs this much so I hope so!  Snow starts tonight.

[kayc]

4 hours ago, KarenK said:

Gwen, I wish I had the magic words to make you feel better. Maybe if you focus on some of the positive things about going home like setting your own schedule, eating what you want, when you want and choosing your own tv programs. Small things I know, opposed to all the challenges you face, but it's some kind of a start. The big thing, of course is getting Mel back home to combat some of the loneliness. I'm sure Dee will be there as often as she can and home health at least for a while. Is there a Meals On Wheels there to help with food? I imagine the social worker can provide helpful suggestions.  You have overcome so much already. All you can do is grit your teeth and keep pushing forward.

Luv Ya Girlfriend

These are good positive suggestions!  I like the mentioning choosing your own food, own t.v. programs, setting your own schedule...when your life feels beyond your control, so good to be able to control SOMETHING!

[Kieron]

22 minutes ago, kayc said:

Another kink: Have to go for blood draw and requested insulin resistance test, doctor hadn't heard of it and doesn't know much about Diabetes, wants to have a phone visit April 19 so II can explain to him why.  Brushed up on Dr. Ben Bikman (scientist) on Insulin Resistance, took notes.

Why is he asking you to explain this to him?  He's a doctor.  He has to do Continuing Education Units (CEU's) just like any human services profession.  Am I missing something here...?  

I was talking with a friend the other day who shared a photo of his doctor from the clinic website.  This doctor looks maybe 18.  Has a lot of strange ideas, according to my friend.  I guess I am getting skeptical of doctors here in my old age 🤣

[kayc]

I don't know but I respect that he at least didn't say NO!! right off the bat like most would.  Also he's using this to learn something and admits not knowing much about Diabetes, I appreciate his willingness to be honest and wanting to learn.  It does seem odd to me that you'd ask a patient to explain it to you rather than learning it on your own...I named off several doctors on line, including the scientist I will quote in our conversation, if he cares to learn he can look up the videos online from these diabetic experts! 

[Widow2015]

8 hours ago, KarenK said:

Thanks Dee. I'm so fortunate that Robert has been doing all the shopping and driving, but sure feeling guilty. At least I can do some of it now. I've never been one to ask for help, but find I must now sometimes. Forging ahead blindly has real meaning now.  lol

Karen:  I totally understand the guilt that you feel when needing to ask for help.  I would rather do without than ask for assistance for the simple things in life like driving to appointments and light grocery shopping.  Yes, you are fortunate to have  Robert there.   Heidi, my son's significant other,  does her grocery shopping weekly and always asks if I need anything. 

Thanks for asking about my eye issues.  No, as of my last appointment with retinal doctor eyes not getting worse; all was good.  The injections hopefully will continue to maintain what sight I still have in both eyes.  My right eye so far has not lost the central vision as the left eye has.  Even though I am enjoying clearer vision since the cataract surgery, I still have no desire or courage to drive  in unfamiliar places or to my injection appointments.   On injection appointment days my vision can be distorted for hours depending on where the medication is injected or if eyes are dilated.  

I hope there will be a solution for your vision issue be it exercises or prism glasses.  I follow a Facebook site that addresses MD and have read other  issues that some experience with their vision.  I remember others mentioning double vision as well.  Take care.  Dee