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Bittersweet


dpodesta

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When Karen died on April 6 of this year, I had to file bankruptcy in order for Carson and I to have any sort of quaility of life. I got the news yesterday that it has been discharged. This past 5 months have been very difficult with all of the paperwork and such, so this has been a big relief. Yesterday was the best day I have had in a long time. I am finally able to close this chapter of the book and now can begin life again. Tonight on the way home from work, it hit me. No longer is this going to be something that will occupy my mind. The further I drove and realized this the more thoughts and feelings came in. I now realize that I needed the bankruptcy to occupy my mind for the last 5 months in order for me to really face the loss of Karen. It was a devirsion that I needed in order to think properly and get things in order and running smoothly so that I won't have to worry about them and can put my energy into truly grieving for Karen. I am scared but at the same time I feel ready to face this head on. I know the upcoming weeks and months are going to be a bumpy road, however I am glad that I have all of you that will be here for me as I travel along. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers and hopefully I won't sound like I am losing my mind. Thank you in advance for being here for me when I need you the most.

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Derek,

You are always in our thoughts. You brought up something important. When someone dies there is so much to have to take care of and deal with, as we all know! And usually it is one person who does this. I think, for that person, it does distract you somewhat from your grief and then, when everything is done, it hits you hard. That could be one of the reasons so many of us feel that we are "backsliding". That it is so many months down the road and here we are feeling worse instead of better. It's just because we didn't get to fully grieve right away.

We are here for you, just like you have always been here for everyone else. Bless you.

Hugs,

Shell

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Derek

I am so happy that this part is over. you deserve it. Remenber that we are all here for you and you will never lose your mind. i will pray that God will give you the strength to help you on this journey.

How is Carson doing? i will be praying for him also. always remenber karen is always with you , just look at Carson.

God Bless

Lori

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Derek,

I am so glad that your bankrupcy is done.... God was looking out for you, it is not very often that they discharge you so soon.... I am glad that you can put that behind and move forward....

I know that now you will be able to take the time you need to grieve for Karen and it will be difficult at times but please remember it will get easier for you....

I hope Carson is doing better.... he is so lucky to have such a wonderful dad....

As you said, the road will be bumpy but you have over come so many obstacles already and I have faith that you will be ok....

When times get tough... I am here for you...as you have been for me... thank you for that...

We all have you in our prayers..

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