Missing The Man I Love

[cdbaca]

Well this is a first for me. I lost the love of my life 4 months ago. Life just isn't the same. I write to him through another site but I have yet to share my grief so openly. Rick died on June 3,2006 after having a cardiac arrest at the end of May he stayed in the hospital for 1 month. I brought him home on Wednesday and that very same week on Saturday He had another cardiac arrest and died in our home. I have lost myself in my work but there are always the weekends when I am home alone that I can't help but think of all we shared and our hopes and dreams for the future. I just feel so very alone and I don't want to go out and do things . I am not sure what I expect by writing this ... Maybe someday it will get easier... Thank you for listening.

[TerryB]

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband July 19, 2006. There is nothing anyone can say or do to make me feel better but somehow coming to this site and posting my feelings and reading what others have posted helps. Everyone is very supportive and knows what you are going through.

Terry

[LarrysGirl]

I'm sorry for your recent loss. You are feeling everything that all of us here on this site have experienced. Losing the love of your life is VERY hard. I'm getting close to 11 months and it still feels like yesterday. I don't know how I have even gotten here but I do know the great people who come here everyday help, share and listen. I can't tell you it will get better, it does change, but maybe not better, just different. I'm not sure you ever get over losing someone you love so much. Just write and we all will listen. Deborah

[dpodesta]

cdbaca

I am so sad to hear of your loss, you have come to a very good place. You can feel free to post anything you like and you won't have to worry about being judged. I lost my wife to a heart attack 6 months ago yesterday and I have done the same thing as you, I threw myself into work staying up late at night logged into my work computer at home and then on theweekends, I threw myself into working on the outside of the house repairing it. These first months are I think the hardest because you are trying to find yourself and deal with the loss of your loved one who you vowed to be with until death do us part. We never expect the death part of it to come so soon, we think that it will last forever. Just remember that we are here for you whenever you need us, and we come from different coutries to do one thing and that is to help each other through this grief process. I look forward to hearing from you again.

[gabrielle_land]

cdbaca,

I'm very sorry for your loss, it's so hard to lose that someone you love with all your heart.. its a shame you have to go through it, I lost my love 3 months now.. I joined the site a month after and it has helped me, hope it may help you too, as you said "I have yet to share my grief so openly", its such a need to do so, and you came to the right place. Feel free to post anytime ok, we all know what you are going through.. we all try to support each other. You say you write to him in a site, I think that's helpful, I do that too.. It's some sort of therapy I guess.. Maybe some day we will learn how to live with this, I dont know if enjoying our days as we once did, but learn to smile at life again.

Take care cdbaca, hugs and blessings,

Gaby

[missingcharlie]

My heart goes out to all of you. Your losses are so fresh and I am truly sorry that you have had to experience this. As the others have said, we are all here for you! We are traveling the same road - some a little further ahead than others. As much as I can't believe it, next month will be 2 years for me and at times it seems like yesterday. I OFTEN wonder how I have gotten this far without the man I loved more than anything, but somehow we just keep putting one foot in front of the other and move forward. I think it's because we all know that our loved ones would want us to go on and to live for them. To date, it is definately the hardest thing I have ever had to go through in my life. My mother-in-law says that most people expect to lose their parents, their siblings and their spouses SOMEDAY, but there is nothing harder than losing a child. I don't know...I think losing your spouse, someone you were with day in and day out, through good times and bad, for years and years would have to rank right up there at the top. (I hope to never have to experience losing a child or grandchild) She unfortuately has experienced both; losing her husband 16 years ago and now having lost her youngest child and only son.

As time goes on, it does change. You get more used to it, but getting used to it doesn't make it much better. All we can do is to support each other here because no one else understands how we feel. That's why I like coming here because no one is rushing me to "get over it". Everyone here is very comforting and we all feel like we're "family".

Just keep coming here and writing whatever it is you want - someone will write back! I am very sorry you had to find us, but glad you did!

Hugs and prayers to all!!

Patti

(Charlie 6/10/58-11/16/2004; I love & miss you, Dear!)

[kayc]

cdbaca,

I am sorry to hear you lost the love of your life. This site has been a lifesaver to me and to many others. My husband passed away on Father's Day 2005 from a heart attack. He was in the hospital and they made me leave when he started having it so I didn't get to be with him when he passed on. I wish it would get easier but I'm not sure that it does. We do learn to adjust somewhat to some things, but not to others. The lonliness is really hard for me. I, too, threw myself into my job, and then it too ended this summer and I have not yet gotten a new one. I worry a lot about losing my home, I don't want that to happen. I want his ashes scattered here when I die as this is the place we were the happiest.

Four months it is all still so fresh. It does help to pour your heart out and get all of your feelings out. We are here to help each other through it, to care and understand. Please feel free to come here any time, it is a safe place. Good luck to you in your journey.

Edited October 9, 2006 by kayc

[mickey]

I know exactly what you are feeling. Lost my husband after a motorcycle accident in July. He suffered with pneumonia, strokes and finally two brain lobectomies before he died in August. I do not work, my daughter is married and starting her own life, my son lives with me but I am glad that he is starting to go out with friends again and I don't want him to worry about me. Writing and going to grief support groups really helps. I went to Al-Anon when my husband was alive and I can't believe how much it helped. Try finding a grief support group at your local hospital or funeral home. They really know what they're doing. I will pray for you and your loved one. He is still with you.