Reflections

[searcher]

I too do not know if I am doing this right, but I guess its not relavent. What I feel the need to say is that all of what I have read in these posts is also reflected in my heart. I have felt it all loss, guilt extreme pain and all the rest. But mostly, I feel great blessings that I had my love for as lomg as I did. On November 13, 1957 We pledged oueselves to each other, until death do us part. On August 9th, 2006 my best friend and soulmate went home to our Lord, he didnt want to leave me, but the time had come. Iknow I will see him again, and I hope it is soon. My children keep me sane, I thank god everyday for their love and understanding, I know they are hurting too. I just want to thank you all for allowing me to listen to your reflections of greif. I will survive and go on. Im not sure how yet, but i will for him, because he said i must.

[chrissy777]

You are right. We all must go on. Our spouses or whoever we lost would want us to. My husband said to me that if he died he wouldnt want me to be alone an greive forever. He knew I would but they want us to go on. We will see them again someday. Thank God for that which keeps us sain. For me it is my son. I thank GOd for him everyday. This year for me has been very bittersweet. The loss of mY dear husband and the birth of our son. I couldnt imagine life without him now. I am sorry for your loss and come talk it helps so much.

[kayc]

Searcher,

Welcome to our site, I want to tell you that I am sorry you lost your husband. You had a long life together and it must seem quite a huge adjustment. I am glad you have kids that care and are there for you.

[gabrielle_land]

I'm very sorry for your loss searcher, you are welcome to come and share what you're feeling with us. You both spent a big part of your life together and as you said that was a blessing. I wait for the day we can be able to be with our loved one once more, the comfort is that someday it will be so. Hugs, and keep on posting whenever you're able to.

Gaby

[spunkye]

God bless you, searcher...and thank you for being here.

Love, aBenita

[Tori]

Searcher I couldn't agree with you more. We were married in 1953 and marveled every day that we had been so fortunate as to have had 53 years with someone we still loved and respected. Most of the time when I am tempted to give in completely to my own personal pity party; I can shake myself out of it pretty quickly by remembering those conversations and counting our blessings!

Of course after 53 years with someone who could finish your thoughts for you, it gets awfully lonely being by oneself all the time. We were so content with each other's company that we made the mistake of isolating ourselves from the few friends we had that were still around. And that makes it even more difficult when you're reduced to function as one rather than as a couple.

Our daughters and granddaughters are a great help and comfort, but it isn't the same! The barely post teen grandsons are a different story. They just want grandpa's stuff!

[searcher]

hello agaim to all of you. So today is our anniversary. 49 yrs ago today we began our life together. I've thought about this day a lot in the last few weeks and I've decided to make this a day of reflection and memories. Dont get me wrong, the tears have come often today, but this was always a joyeous day for us and I'm trying to make it that way,even though my heart is breaking. I would like to share one precious moment of my life with you. When we were just 18, we met at his senior prom, 5 months later we decided to marrie. We asked the mayor of our small town to official over our vows. He graciously consented. when the ceremony began, he began to cry, the mayor, and continued to cry all through the wedding. when we were done,my dad asked why he cried, he said he had never been asked to marry anyone, he was just overwhelmed with emotion. He only hoped

it took.

If this reflection warms your heart a little in your time of sorrow, please try to remember the good times you had with your love. If you can't share with

us because it hurts too much, we all understand. If you can, maybe it will help you heal. Maybe I'm being too presumptious, but I know it helps me.

TO YOU, MY LOVE, I WILL THINK OF YOU WITH A WARM HEART, AS I TRY TO REMEMBER THE GOOD TIMES.

[Tori]

Today would have been my husbands 74th birthday! Through the tears I've also spent a lot of time reminiscing, even managed to crack a smile or two.

We met in a cafe. The old fashioned kind with nickle juke boxes strategically placed on the red counter; red plastic booths with grey tabletops trimmed in chrome and ten cent cherry cokes on the menu. We were introduced by mutual friends and promptly got off on the wrong foot. That night he spent a long time telling his brother about the spoiled brat he'd met that day. By the end of the evening his brother commented; "she's going to be my future sister-in-law"... He was right, and we continued to spoil each other for the next 54 years! For that I'm eternally grateful, though I miss him more than I ever dreamed possible.

[kayc]

Tori,

I hope you were able to smile for a few moments today as you reflected on your husband's life. I never know what to say...Happy Birthday? Even though I've been through it, I still don't know what to say. I guess just that I'm thinking of you and I hope it wasn't too bad. You had a lot of years together, it must be very hard now. How wonderful to have spoiled each other!

[searcher]

Thank you TORI

for sharing,

eventually, the good reflections make outweigh the pain, even if only for a short while.

Well,one of my firsts is now passed. Our anniversary, my heart was trully

heavy,but I was determined to remember the good times. Our anniversary was always important to both of us. But I was not prepared for the gift I recieved

in the evening. I had not allowed myself to remember that my husband had always

given me red roses on our anniversary. I was helping my one daughter fix supper

when in walked my other daughter and her husband with huge vase of 49 roses, 48

red and 1 white. I completely lost it. At first my daughter thought she had

made a mistake and considered saying she was sorry, but she said dad would have

wanted you to have them. The card read," thank you for showing us what always &

forever is." Some tears are trully bittersweet.

ALWAYS & FOREVER MY LOVE, ALWAYS & FOREVER

[Laurie]

Searcher, Thank you for sharing your beautiful Anniversary story. You have such sweet and thoughtful daughters! Laurie

[janieb0828]

I am so glad to hear that this is helping you out. I have gotten a lot of greatness out of listening to others talk. It helps you realize we are not alone in our pain. Life my go on for others as normal. But all of us here can help each other.

[kayc]

searcher,

What a sweet story you shared with us, your daughter is really sweet and thoughtful! My husband and my anniversary came and went without anyone's acknowledgement and I think it's much better if someone says or does something...after all, it's not like we've forgotten!

[searcher]

Well here Iam again,

I haven't posted for awhile, but know that I've been here. listening to all your thoughts and sharing your pain. Sometimes its just to hard to post, let alone talk about my loss. Lately I've begun to remember all he went thru to stay with me as long as he did. 17 yrs. ago he was medically retired, it was a fight from then on til I lost him in August. I wont go into all he went thru here now, but when he was diagnosed with lung cancer in March, he was again determined to fight. But this time it was a mountain too high and the LORD mercifully took him home on August 9th. I miss him all the time, but I thank GOD everyday for the time we had together. The tears come now, so I will sing off for now.

ALWAYS AND FOREVER, MY LOVE, ALWAYS AND FOREVER.

[chrissy777]

Searcher,

17 years of fighting? God bless you I couldnt imagine the struggle you have been through. We fought for almost 2 years before Jason died. It is hard to watch the one you love struggle like that. Take care and God bless.